Add this to the list of do's and don'ts for single men.

[SW_PA_Couple 4,024]

Derived from last weekend's experience at a swingers' club:

 

Guys. Do not, please:

 

* Moan and groan about how difficult things are for a guy in "The Lifestyle".

* Ask a man if his female friend might be interested in play. A woman can decide for herself and does not need a man's permission.

[bbarnsworth 2,637]

wow.

[BobGann 40]

Regarding your second poing about asking the man if his partner is ready, I think it's important to mention that when talking to couples ALWAYS talk to them both. I've also seen some single guys who seem to just approach the lady and ignore the husband. I find with most couples BOTH need to be comfortable with you, and let them kind of provide the opening.

[Brad145 58]

At a club that allows single guys?

 

If they guy is obviously protective (why go to a club with single guys then?), I try to ask both of them when they are together.

 

If they seem comfortable in that environment I just ask her. I fully expect guys to approach my wife, that's what we are there for after all.

[SW_PA_Couple 4,024]

As a public service, I am adding the text of messages received at our SCZ and SLS profiles just within the last ten days!. Guys, just do not do shit like this:

 

Exhibit A:

 

A first message, "How far will JoAnn travel to meet a guy?" Now really, there is no way of answering this frankly without making this clown feel entitled. So JoAnn pushed her tongue into her cheek and replied, "First, I am able to speak for myself. I do not need my husband to speak for me. How far I will travel would depend upon whom I would expect to meet at the end of the journey."

 

Exhibit B:

 

"I'm a 49 year old clean cut man in Pittsburgh. I'm game! Free member so xxxxxxx at g mail if interested and we can chat." Really? Too cheap to buy a membership at SLS? If you invite my wife out to dinner, should she take her credit card with her?

 

Exhibit C:

 

"Liked your pictures. I would love to meet you both and play." Likes our pictures? We'll fall down on our knees and worship at your feet. He had, incidentally, no pictures at his profile that we could like or dislike.

 

Exhibit D:

 

"Would enjoy getting to know you better let me know if you would like to talk by e-mail" Another "free" member. Knowing that his membership status limits the number of messages he can send, he wants us to give away our e-mail address.

 

Exhibit E:

 

"I would send you a picture, but I cannot figure out how to do it. Send me your email and I will send you some." OK, we want to meet a guy who is so clueless, he cannot find a way to use the facility of the SDC Web site? Sure we do.

[padoc 1,703]

Any guy who is NOT protective of his wife at a swingers club is totally useless.

[Fundamental Law 2,885]

The issues represented in the exhibits extend beyond singleness. They reflect a lack of respect and/or insight. While some seem to acquire these attributes as they become part of a couple, such transformations are not universal.

 

In vanilla life, women (and men) endure many behaviors they would rather not experience in order to achieve a different goal: make a sale, get a job, manage an unruly family member. In the LS, everyone knows that intimate contact is possibly part of the conversation ... until it isn't. By far the fastest routes to "no" are injections of disrespect and insensitivity into any LS transaction.

 

A side note: so common are insensitive behaviors that insight, sensitivity, and respect for individuals and their relationships stand out. The "hottie" of either gender is so used to "hey, wanna play?" that they notice and appreciate humor, sincerity, and kindness.

[BabeAndApe 70]

Babe prefers single men talk to me first. Its not about permission. Its about her wanting my read on them before talking to them herself. And, honestly, I prefer not to deal with single women at all. If Babe introduces me to one I'll chat her up, but I really don't like it when they walk up to me and initiate. The reason is simple: they almost invariably pretend Babe isn't there. Couples almost never do that. If you want to play with a coupled person, take the time to make their other half feel respected and comfortable. Because, if they don't your odds of success drop dramatically. Babe and I always make a point of paying attention to the same sex half of couples we meet because you are, weirdly enough, seducing both of them. One for sex and the other to be comfortsble with that sex.