Swinging after heart surgery and reaction to chest scar

[tj680 28]

Question to all the experienced swingers.

 

I recently had quad bypass - fortunately the blockages were discovered before any damage to the heart - so now that we are able resume, wanted to understand what the reactions are from typical swingers to people like me who have had heart surgery and are sporting a pretty prominant chest scar?

 

Thank you for your thoughtful responses.

[SW_PA_Couple 4,024]

I'll simply say that my wife and I know several lifestyle people who have such scars.

[SA_NewtoLS 163]

At the club I have seen people with some scars from the same type of thing and in other places as well, including C-Section scars and stretch marks on women, on the side, where I would venture to guess a kidney was removed or added, and other various scars. The only reason I saw the scars was because they were playing in the group/voyeur room where they were playing with others and plenty of people were enjoying watching, so it didn't seem to bother anyone and I can say with certainty it would not bother my wife or me. It may bother some people, then again, your personality may bother some, or the way you dress, or any number of things. Almost no matter what, you can likely find someone accepting of your situation or someone else in your situation. Not a thing to worry about really.

[N&G 207]

We know people including myself who have scars and also women who have had mastectomies. It doesn't seem to bother anyone as far as I can tell and it certainly doesn't bother me. We are however older and it's common to have a few scars.

[cplnuswing 4,713]

It wouldn't bother us a bit.

[Fundamental Law 2,885]

1. Congratulations on your successful recovery from open heart surgery!

 

2. The scar will fade. It will take about a year to reach maturity. There is an inflammatory phase--where it will stay red and a bit angry looking. There is a fibroproliferative phase where scar tissue continues to be laid down--this goes on for months. There is a remodeling phase that goes out to about a year. Keep the sun off of it this spring and summer and fall if you want the scar to fade to the most minimal appearance. SPF as high as you can find. And a t-shirt.

 

3. We medical types have our own rituals--guessing the operation from the scar. We go to a variety of nude resorts and LS activities. It is the rare person who has not had this or that operation. We think of those scars as "proof of life".

 

4. Mrs. FL has a long scar on her upper arm. Looks like a shark bite. She's a melanoma survivor. Me, I have a long scar on the back of my neck. Cervical spine decompression. No one cares. Really.

 

Indeed, survival, recovery and getting back in the game is the best story you will ever tell.

[tj680 28]

Thank You - very encouraging! Sorry about the late response - have been away from this site for a while.

[GoldCoCouple 4,065]

“My scars tell a story. They are a reminder of times when life tried to break me, but failed. They are markings of where the structure of my character was welded.”

 

― Steve Maraboli

 

Scars tell the story of someone's life. They are not a bad thing, they are just a thing. Anyone how wouldn't be interested just because of a scar is probably someone you wouldn't want to be involved with in the first place. Don't worry another minute about it and congratulations on still being here with us. We would miss you if you weren't...

[forsure79 26]

My wife and I are going to try swinging very soon. We are both over 60 and use canes to walk. The canes are due to a neurological condition and do not affect our sexual performance. My wife is great at fellatio and I am good at eating women's out (per my wife and I opinion). Hopefully we will not meet any reistance. We can definitely identifywith your concerns.

[GoldCoCouple 4,065]

You will never know until you go there. Before that, its only your own fears that hold you back.

[Guest]

When you meet someone to swing with you could simply explain that you had surgery and its left a scar that makes you a little conscious and that maybe you could simply wear nice t-shirt whilst playing.

 

I haven't been in many situations where someone would object to you wearing a nice simple black t-shirt.

 

Just an idea...

[Tahoecple 319]

You are very lucky my friend, it wasn’t too many years ago that you wouldn’t have had the opportunity to be concerned over how others react to your scare. With the advancement in medicine there are bound to be some ramifications. Having a scare on your chest isn’t a deterrent to your happiness, being carried by six of your friends is a major deterrent to your happiness.

 

Personally, I wouldn’t be concerned with others reaction to your scare. It is what it is and you did what you had to do to save your life, it isn’t in the least a sign of weakness. If I were to see a person involved in strenuous activity displaying a scare such as yours I wouldn’t be repulsed, I would think of it as proof that one more medical roadblock to my own life and happiness has been removed.

 

We all carry scares of one kind or another, some are visible, some are on the inside. Life produces scares, they are verification of what we have endured. Display your scares proudly and declare to the world that you are who you are and that you’ve been there and done that. Tell the people you meet that they can join you on the road of life or they can get the fuck out of your way, life is too short to be concerned with morons.

[Funguy796 44]

Just explain it if you feel the need or it comes up. I enjoyed a couple that the wife had an operation and her scare crossed her belly. During "pillow time" I asked about it, listened and asked if I could gently massage the area. That simple act led to one of the best 3-somes I ever had. So, get out and have fun