Wife not sure on giving oral to another man...

[Mfc 21]

We are relative newbies, posted previously on wife's potential negative feelings after swinging and got many great responses.

 

We have played a couple times with two other couples, kinda soft swap, I have received oral from the other woman but my wife was not quite ready to do the same for other man... they knew this before we started playing so all was cool and we all had a great night. Wife enjoyed our swinging experience each time with no issues too.

 

We are off to a swinger club in a few weeks and we are happy to hook up and play with another couple and have fun, we have talked about my wife potentiality giving oral to another man, I tell her that it would be a turn on for me and she is struggling to understand that at the moment and she is unsure if she will feel comfortable to perform it on another man, that if she does cross that line she feels she might only do it if he wears a condom.

 

I wonder have other women felt the same at their early days of swinging when it came to giving oral on another man and if ye had any advice for her on your first experiences of giving oral that might set her at ease and make her feel comfortable that it is ok to get turned on by seeing your wife with another man...

 

Also how weird would it be asking the other guy to wear a condom if that was her request?

 

Thanks in advance for replies.

[SW_PA_Couple 4,024]

I know that I am not female. Consequently, I will not answer. But if you will allow, I will interject.

 

There is a woman whom I sometimes encounter at a swing club north of us. She wants that I wear a condom for penetration or oral. I do not think of this as weird and I have a suspicion that the other men with whom she plays do not think of her requirement as unusual. The sensations are very little different from oral sex without a condom. But I believe that experience, skill, and enthusiasm for giving oral sex are important.

 

Probably just coincidental, but she's Scotts.

[Scaredstiff 129]

My wife says the same thing, when we are playing at home alone and we fantasise about her sucking someone else's cock she loves it, but when it comes to us talking about actually doing it she says she's not sure she could. I know my wife very well and I'm pretty sure she wants to do it but is scared of what I will think. Maybe not what I will think right there and then in the moment (she knows how much it would turn me on, I have reinforced this over and over), but the next day, the following week, or in 10 years. She is worried that it will change something in our relationship, this is a good sign , or at least that's the angle I look at it from, she is trying to protect what we have, meaning she must value what we have already very highly. I'm sure she will come round eventually, her stance on it seems to soften a little every time we fantasise about it, it seems to help when I'm very vocal and specific about it when we're having sex, like she'll suck on my fingers while we're fucking and I'll say "I really wish you were sucking someone's cock , suck it like a cock babe" this drives us both over the edge and she seems more open to talking about it afterwards.

 

Another thought I have about this is that while I've been fantasising about it for years , she has only recently found out that it is a turn on for me, so I've had longer to become comfortable with the idea of it, longer to get my head around it.

 

I feel the same to a lesser extent about going down on a woman, I kind of need my wife to tell me it's what she wants , otherwise I get worried about how she's feeling about it as I really don't want her to feel bad.

 

But we are just starting out and we will just keep edging out into deeper water at our own pace.

 

I think the condom thing is uncommon but not unusual, at the end of the day just play by whatever rules you're both comfortable with, as long as you let the other couple in on what your rules are (which it seems you are) it then becomes their choice if they want to play or not, sure it might limit your number of potential play partners a little bit but same goes for any other preferences people have.

[cplnuswing 4,713]

"uncommon but not unusual" - I think that's a great way to describe the condom for oral sex issue. Will it cost some potential playmates that won't be interested if a condom is required? Likely, but your rules are your rules, and it's worth the wait to find playmates where everyone is in sync with everyone else, and rules are at the top of that list.

 

I suspect the key for her is going to be attraction. When she finds a guy she is really attracted to, and he to her, then pure desire is going to kick in and some of the things that seem like barriers now are going to fall. It's one thing to be thinking of something as a hypothetical, at that point it's just the coldly analytical part of your mind thinking. When you get in the right moment, then all your senses and all parts of your body get involved, and that changes things.

 

Notice the consistent theme above of being in sync and mutual attraction. Those cannot be overstated, without them it is nearly impossible to have a great swinging experience, especially when first starting out. So, go to the club, have a great night out together, but don't go with any expectations that might bring the temptation or feeling pressure to cut some corners and hope for the best. That rarely if ever works out well. It's great you are talking about the what-if's together, that's really important, but even when you think you have a what-if totally worked out, just make sure to let it happen, not try to make it happen.

[bbarnsworth 2,640]

As usual, cplnuswing is spot on.

 

I think most of us that have been in swinging for a long time can report that while we might have started out with a ton of rules, those rules tended to melt over time. So too do inhibitions. Swinging isn't what we're "programmed" to do. It takes time to get used to it. The first time there's a ton of anxiety. The next time, a little less. Like cplnuswing reports, if your wife is really into the guy, things will change a bit. My wife had that reaction with the second guy she had sex with in swinging. We had a couple of soft swaps first, and got somewhat comfortable. The first guy after that which she actually had sex with was ok, not bad, not great. The second guy she was over the moon happy to be having sex with him, completely into it, inhibitions completely gone. She was very attracted to him, which I think made a huge difference.

 

I also agree that you shouldn't go into a swing club with the expectations of doing a specific thing. Just go with the expectation of having a good time, a fun evening. Just let it be. If I remember correctly...could be mixing couples here..but you are traveling out of country to go this club? That could have the effect of layering on too many expectations. Be conscious of that.

 

As for it being a turn on for you and her struggling with understanding that; I can't tell you why, but yes it is an amazing turn on. I've been trying to answer the question of why it turns me on so much to see my wife with another man. I can't. I've just come to accept that I really, really enjoy it. It's a major turn on for me. Always has been, probably always will. It's not surprising to me that you think you would be turned on by it as well. I think most swinging men enjoy watching their wives with another man. Not all perhaps, but most.

[Scaredstiff 129]

"uncommon but not unusual" - I think that's a great way to describe the condom for oral sex issue. Will it cost some potential playmates that won't be interested if a condom is required? Likely, but your rules are your rules, and it's worth the wait to find playmates where everyone is in sync with everyone else, and rules are at the top of that list.

 

I suspect the key for her is going to be attraction. When she finds a guy she is really attracted to, and he to her, then pure desire is going to kick in and some of the things that seem like barriers now are going to fall. It's one thing to be thinking of something as a hypothetical, at that point it's just the coldly analytical part of your mind thinking. When you get in the right moment, then all your senses and all parts of your body get involved, and that changes things.

 

Notice the consistent theme above of being in sync and mutual attraction. Those cannot be overstated, without them it is nearly impossible to have a great swinging experience, especially when first starting out. So, go to the club, have a great night out together, but don't go with any expectations that might bring the temptation or feeling pressure to cut some corners and hope for the best. That rarely if ever works out well. It's great you are talking about the what-if's together, that's really important, but even when you think you have a what-if totally worked out, just make sure to let it happen, not try to make it happen.

 

Ah yes , I think you hit the nail on the head about attraction, so far for us attraction has been a stumbling block as far as my wife is concerned, I think it is 2 things really, firstly the guys we have met haven't really been her type, bald heads and beards aren't really her thing and I'm not sure if it's an age thing or a fashion thing but nearly everybody in our club had a bald head and beard lol.

Secondly I think that maybe attraction for her needs to be a little bit more than aesthetic, I think she needs something else , like it would help if the guy had something interesting about him or his personality, most guys up to this point have let their wives do most of the talking , almost like they're trying to play it safe and not screw up the flirting stage lol, if we meet a dashing , confident guy who's not afraid to put himself out there I think things could change

[EastInWest 1,524]

Secondly I think that maybe attraction for her needs to be a little bit more than aesthetic, I think she needs something else , like it would help if the guy had something interesting about him or his personality, most guys up to this point have let their wives do most of the talking , almost like they're trying to play it safe and not screw up the flirting stage lol, if we meet a dashing , confident guy who's not afraid to put himself out there I think things could change

 

The comfort level was a *huge* stumbling block for Mrs. EastInWest, it turns out. She'd been in a relationship for a long time and "strange cock in her mouth" had kind of gone by the wayside. Once she was over it, she was fine, but she needed a couple she knew well to get her started.

[GoldCoCouple 4,066]

In many ways for a woman, oral sex can and is more intimate than 'just sex'. Then there is the fear that he might just 'accidentally' cum in her mouth. Just be up front about her requirements and let her proceed at her pace. It took quite awhile for the trust to be developed before Ms. Gold knew that there wasn't going to be a problem with either of us or our play partners giving her a 'surprise'. Now it's fine and everyone understands what is and isn't expected and allowed. No rush, no pressure, no problems...

[Mfc 21]

Thanks Bbarnsworth, yes, same couple, travelling to club in Netherlands in 4 weeks, v looking forward to it, no clubs where we are from, so have to go abroad to enjoy proper environment... No expectations, looking forward to having a good night in sexy atmosphere and hope that we meet a couple we click with... look forward to updating all v soon...

[bbarnsworth 2,640]

Thanks Bbarnsworth, yes, same couple, travelling to club in Netherlands in 4 weeks, v looking forward to it, no clubs where we are from, so have to go abroad to enjoy proper environment... No expectations, looking forward to having a good night in sexy atmosphere and hope that we meet a couple we click with... look forward to updating all v soon...

 

From your profile here you are in Ireland? I've found a few clubs in Ireland. Limerick, Dublin, etc. In fact, the swinging scene seems to be pretty active.

[Mfc 21]

From your profile here you are in Ireland? I've found a few clubs in Ireland. Limerick, Dublin, etc. In fact, the swinging scene seems to be pretty active.

 

Yes, we tried one of the "reputable" online swingers clubs in Dublin that organise events... was bad, pitched as a penthouse party, more like a cheap student flat, number of somewhat creepy single guys, a 10 yr old would have organised a better event... safe to say it put us off.... there are no onsite clubs in Dublin and I'm not sure about the one in Limerick, it's located in an industrial estate, does not fill me with lots of confidence, hence we prefer to hop on a plane and experience a top class premises...

Also, Ireland is small, everyone knows everyone, sure to bump into someone you know lol : )

[bbarnsworth 2,640]

Also, Ireland is small, everyone knows everyone, sure to bump into someone you know lol : )

 

Oh I don't know about that. There's so much animosity between counties I'm surprised they even talk to each other

[Markjorge1 59]

My wife loves sucking cock and is excited to try different men. As long as the situation feels right she will be open to oral on different men. She loves to swallow and hates the taste of condone so she won't use them when giving head. It is quite a turn on for me. We can't wait!

[Guest]

As I read this, the key question that you don’t touch upon is how you feel about your wife sucking someone else. Have you encouraged her to do so, or have you encouraged the idea that it is something special between the two of you?

[Mfc 21]

As I read this, the key question that you don’t touch upon is how you feel about your wife sucking someone else. Have you encouraged her to do so, or have you encouraged the idea that it is something special between the two of you?

 

Yes, I have encouraged her to do this, I have told her that I think it would be a turn on for me to see her doing this and other sex acts with another man or woman. I think she is coming around to the whole idea of it and I'm pretty sure that when the time is right and the other man is right that she will be happy to go this next step. She is already doing great entering this new lifestyle, at her own pace and I'm also learning to fully respect her pace, be it little baby steps or otherwise.

Thanks for all the great advice and helping us on our journey. We have found this forum really valuable!

 

Update on our trip away last weekend to fun4two in Holland to follow...

[Mfc 21]

So we returned from a weekend in Holland. We were going to attend fun4two swingers club, noted as the best swingers club in the world. An amazing sexy place that we were both so looking forward to visiting again, our first visit there was 3 years ago and we had a great first ever experience where we met a great couple a little older than us who we played a little with. They became close friends from there and indeed we were now staying with them for the weekend, we'll call them Ron & Jane...

 

 

 

On the Friday night at the club we hung out with Ron and Jane for most of the evening, we got chatting to some other couples but didn't connect with anyone enough to go any further...

 

We had a few drinks and then went to the Jacuzzi area, a large Jacuzzi big enough for 10 or 15 people, we chatted in here for a while, surrounded by naked couples, some just chatting others sucking cocks, others fucking just a little. We then headed into the steam room the four of us. It was very hot in there, literally. We were all naked, chatting with sweat running down our bodies, my wife looked so hot in here and I soon began to lick her pussy, Ron began to suck on her tits while Jane was sucking on Rons cock, my wifes body was moving and wriggling in a way that I knew she was enjoying my work and the extra attention of Ron sucking and massaging her tits, my wife loves her tits sucked when we are having sex together... While I'm licking my wifes pussy I began fingering Jane at the same time nice and slowly and now Jane was slowly stroking my cock, all this was super sexy. My wife came hard in such a new setting for us, it was impossible not to be fully turned on and into the situation. After my wife came, I focused on Jane, fingering her and sucking on her tits at the same time until she also came with my wife and Ron looking on, it was great! I checked in with my wife as we all just lay there in the steam room for a few minutes, she gave me a look that I knew she was ok and comfortable with what just happened.

 

Later my wife and I, Ron and Jane, we all went upstairs to one of the playrooms and got naked, there was another couple in the small playroom also and they were going at it so hard, we all joked after that we were afraid the guy was going to hurt his woman, even though she made noises that she was loving every bit of it! My wife and I got busy, just the two of us, Ron and Jane likewise with each other, it was hot and Horney, there were noises of women screaming in pleasure at different times from different adjacent playrooms and corridors, it was incredible, there were small peepholes in our playroom that people could look into and see all our action, likewise we could see into other rooms, women being fucked in all kinds of positions, it was so cool. At one point a woman was pretty much thrown into the opening of our playroom, half in, half out and being fucked from behind at the same time, it was so funny and hot! This is still all kind of new to us and it was a feast for the senses! We didn't go any further on that Friday night. It was enough for us and totally enjoyable.

 

The following night we stayed in with Ron and Jane, drinks, sexy school girl outfits, candles all over living room, open fire, large mattress on the living room floor, couple of sex toys too just to make it all interesting...

After a little while I started going down on my wife, she looked great in her sexy school girl outfit, very sexy! After just a few minutes I asked Jane to help me with my wife and I handed her the magic wand, my wifes favorite toy, Jane worked the wand with my wife, was great to see another woman playing like this with my wife. Ron and I began sucking on my wifes tits at the same time, there was a lot going on, this went on for quite a while, hands everywhere, intense, finally my wife came so hard, as she always does when the magic wand is involved! A few minutes later my wife grabs the other joy, a version of a vibrating rabbit, she put it inside Jane and was working her very good, slow and easy at first and then harder and harder, it was great to see my wife fully involved, and now I couldn't keep track of my hands, Rons hands, all over my wifes body at the same time and me sucking on Janes tits while my wife pretty much pounding Janes pussy with the vibrator, awesome stuff!Jane cums while I'm sucking on her tits at the same time, great experience! My wife then lays down on her back and Ron starts licking her pussy while I'm kissing my wife as passionately as we ever have, we make eye contact and I can tell my wife is comfortable and fully enjoying herself, Ron takes his time going down on my wife as I'm sucking now sucking on my wifes tits, I had a front row seat at a real life porn movie, we were all so into it! My wife came again and later I fucked my wife bent over the living room sofa while Ron and Jane fucked on the mattress, it was some of the best sex my wife and I have ever had!

 

We were done for the night and fell into our beds after an incredible night!

We didn't go any further with Ron and Jane. While my wife was extremely comfortable with all she did, she was not ready to give Rona blowjob or do anything else. She was still going at her pace and I was now even more aware of it and fully respected her for it. But even aside from this, what we did get up to with Rona d Jane was another step on our journey into this lifestyle, and to see how naturally my wife was in our playing with Ron and Jane made me very turned on and proud of her at the same time. It is more of a big thing mentally for my wife, entering this lifestyle than it is for me. My wife is still getting her head around allowing herself to let go and enjoy herself in these situations as it is so far way from how she was brought up in society in catholic Brazil. She is doing great.

 

the following morning I checked in with my wife, we didn't discuss the night before too much, just touched on it, she didn't want to go into it too much either with Ron and Jane, they were aware of how big a deal these situations are to her, my wife wanted to chat normally without lots of questions wondering if she was ok after the experience of the night before, she wanted us all to not really go there, that she was cool with everything that happened and almost as if she had graduated into the lifestyle with no issues. I was really happy that she was good with everything genuinely.

 

When we got home a few days later we chatted a little about our sexy night on Friday and Saturday, we both agreed that it was all super hot. My wife said that when Ron was licking her pussy on Saturday night that she felt slightly guilty in the middle of it, guilty that she was enjoying it so much and she thought she should not be, I was v happy she shared this with me and we both joked about it a little too, she was becoming even more comfortable with everything and I reaffirmed with her how much of a turn on it was to see her moaning with pleasure by another man licking her pussy and making her cum! We were both very cool about the whole weekend and I'm sure as we have more encounters in this lifestyle that she will become even more comfortable as we continue our journey....

 

Big thank you to all who have read our posts and those that have given their advice and experiences which has greatly helped both my wife and I.

 

M

[luvin eye full 140]

Good work guys - it's great to here positive story's and to find a couple that will let you go at the slowest pace - this story is a good learning tool for others and I'm glad you shared it.

Regards.

[Mfc 21]

We hosted an attractive couple to our house last Friday night, we had drinks and chat for couple hours, candles, great music, then took off all our clothes and had fun with toys etc, it was a very relaxed and sexy environment and we all felt comfortable, I look over at my wife at one point and she was enjoying sucking the other guys cock, with no condom, she was comfortable and having fun, the two girls both did double blowjobs with us lucky guys, was an amazing first! We are already planning round two in a few weeks! thought I would update from my original post and thanks to all for great advice along the way