And now for the bad...

[Guest]

Mr T and I are fairly new to swinging, and in reading this board we have seen the bad experiences people have had. We have really lucked out. We swing quite regularly with one couple that we connected with from the very beginning. But they live 3-3.5 hours from us and with work and life, we don't see each other as often as we would like. I guess I took it for granted that right out of the gate we would find and connect with a couple immediately. I have read the horror stories on here, and now it is my turn to share.

 

We would like ideally to find a couple more local to us so that we can meet spur-of-the-moment if we want to. Last week Mr T responded to a couple and we decided to meet them at a local restaurant. When Mr T showed me their photo he asked whether the guy's facial hair would bother me. I told him I didn't think so, Mr T has a very nice trimmed goatee. This guy has a full beard and it is fairly long. We met for a meet and greet and they seemed ok. Nice and polite. I could tell he was a little on the heavy side, but I am not looking for a Chris Hemsworth!

 

Fast forward to last night - after texting back and forth, etc., Mr T and I decided to host at a hotel room. They came to the room and after some chit-chat we started. Let me say, his wife is pretty and average built - in fact built a lot like me - big boobs, small waist, big hips. He, on the other hand, was much larger than I expected. MUCH larger. Mr T wants to lose 30lbs, and the guy of the couple we see quite often wants to lose maybe 20-30lbs, but they are both active (Mr T comes to the gym with me) and N (the gentleman from the other couple) plays tennis about 4x a week. So they are fit, active guys in their 50s. This guy was late 30s and by my estimation needs to lose 100lbs, maybe more. I suddenly realised that weight really does matter to me. I told Mr T later that I know it makes me sound superficial, but although I am not looking for an Adonis, I realised I cannot overlook someone who is that heavy.

 

At that point I was still willing to give it a go, but he couldn't maintain an erection and at one point I was lying face down and he did oral but then started jamming his fingers into my vagina. I stopped him immediately and he tried to enter again. I rolled over and he tried that way, but now sweat was dripping off his face and onto mine. I looked over at the other bed and caught Mr T's eye and gave him a thumbs down. Mr T immediately ceased all activities; we made our excuses and told the couple to spend the night in the room, on us. And we booked it out of there.

 

After we got into the car I apologized to Mr T. He said, "your comfort and pleasure are my number 1 priority. If you're not having fun, I'm not having fun." That's why I love that man so much. No remonstration about us leaving, no trying to talk me back into it or anything like that. We both agreed the guys' wife was sweet, but neither one of us had a connection with the guy.

 

We drove to breakfast this morning and I said to Mr T that I am so glad this happened AFTER we met our long distance couple because if this had been our first experience with a couple I might have been turned off from ever trying again! Made me thankful that our first time meeting a couple we really connected and have maintained not just a swinging time, but a friendship (in fact we are getting together on Friday night with them to hang at a local beer garden). But to those who try this and are disappointed the first time out and then try again I say, "kudos to you! It is tough out there!"

[kikonkrome 844]

I enjoyed the honesty!!

[padoc 1,703]

You really are a gamer to have continued in the face of obesity, ED, bad technique and dripping sweat. Mrs Doc says "kudos to the husband, I'd do him in a heartbeat. He gets it." We look upon this hobby as a couples sport and believe that if we're going to play, it ought to be close to an equal trade. There is a (pardon me)HUGE difference between 20/30 lbs and more than 100 lbs. Thats pretty close to a 2nd person and not a pretty picture !! Your husband is a good guy and a good partner in this hobby!

[njbm 2,881]

Did you see the other man's picture before you met? Did you know in advance that he was 100 lbs overweight?

 

Some lifestyle heartache can be avoided by the vetting process. We meet people in person first for drinks or dinner with no expectation of playing that night. We usually know within five minutes if we would play with a couple. Even with this, we have misfired. My wife says we should have stopped at dinner.

[Guest]

We DID see his photo and met them in person last week (my post mentioned that). But he hid the weight well - long shirt (very nicely tailored). I knew he carried a bit of extra weight, but not that much!

[Alura 2,774]

That which you describe was not a "bad" experience, TXswingers65. It was a learning experience from which y'all profited. I think you handled it exactly as you should have. Good luck in the future!

[Guest]

The massive beard would have put me off as well