should we continue?

[Dr_Bear 18]

Hello everyone. I have this issue, but my post will be long because i want you people to understand the whole picture and maybe relate to my experience. Advice would be helpfull. Also english is nor my primary language so bear with me and my mistakes.

 

So, me and my wife of 10 years had been having this awesome open sex life. When we met she was a virgin so i had a blank book to fill and i tried my best. Turned out she was (still is) crazy about sex, i was quite experienced so i delivered a full spectrum of fantasies and sex deviations wich she liked most of them and we had a varied and exciting sex life early on. About 8 years ago shared some fantasies and she expressed the curiosity about being with another woman. I was ok with the ideea, she tried meeting some women online but the tought ouf being alone with her scared a bit so she asked if i could join. Of course i was aroused by the ideea, even if finding a unicorn in a former communist country, deeply religious was a tough challenge. I put my skills up to work and being helped by our good looks, youth and good nature we met this really nice girl who gave us a whole new perspective about sex wich we embraced almost with no remorse or jealousy.

Years passed by and we had about 2-3 threesomes/year with different girls. Unicorns were mostly curious or they would just find a guy, they would marry ,etc. I had this collection of first messages i would send depending on the girls profile, we were nice looking in pictures so, even if quite hard, we managed to meet really cute and fun unicorns.

So, about two years ago, my wife started entertaining the ideea of having sex with more men. We were using it when we had sex as a boost to our pleasure. I would ask her what she would do if another man was present and so on. It was great until one time we had a fight about some other stuff but her frustration of us not swinging (only having FFM threesomes) came out.

I explained to her that i cherrish our relationship, i love her and i would not want to spoil what we have over some fantasy. That FFM's we tried young but i was afraid stuff can happend in a 4'some or a MMF threesome. That with a girl we can both play and she could play with both of us and it felt natural and balanced. We even had a FFM romance where all of us were a bit inlove and it was (still is) the best experience with someone outside of our marriage.

She understood my arguments and we let it like that but i understood that she would really like another man and she was really curious about this.

I am a quite good looking, good sex partner and successfull guy. I was not afraid those guys could make her head turn around and if they did and she would let them then she might be quite stupid or really not that good when it comes to self-control. I had no problem after i did some serious thinking to make this happend for her - let her fantay come true, have sex with more men, so i proposed a swingers club.

The ideea behind this was that it sounded safer.We go there, she unleashes the demons, we come home. Not much flirting, not even names given, just fantasy gangbang sex.Looked ok on paper.

 

So i convinced her to go (she is that kind who needs convincing to do fun stuff and feels guilty having fun instead of doing chores or working) ,and we did. She was scared at first but the people down at the club were really nice and she was by far the hottest girl there so she got relaxed.

In our country people swing at home ,4'some ,6'somes, etc. Clubs as small family run businesses that accomodate 5-6 couples and some 3-4 guys, italians mostly. First time we did nothing ,just got accomodated with people, kissed, touched...The scond time we actually had a guy with us, it was a slow night ,he was the only one alone so we took him with us in a room. The guy was really nice and sweet but after 2-3 minutes he finished. Appologized, blamed her for being too hot and left. Even if the experience was quite poor she enjoyed it a lot. She got more confident and liked the fact that the guy was overwhelmed by her looks and sexuality.

My wife is the kind of girl who looks 16 at 33, slim, small breasts, childish face, sweet and nice, but you cant really find her sexy if she's outside a swingers club. She is not provocative, on the contrary. She's reserved around men, dresses mostly business-casual and she is imune to flirting and other stuff men outside a swingers club might do to catch her attention. She was a bit afraind of men before me (this explains her virginity at 23) and still was prior going to a swingers club. Going there enhanced her confidence, and i felt her more a woman than a really succesfull career ,having two kinds, doing a lot of hard sutff made her before.

i liked this new her, sex life had a tremendous boost (each day/night, 2-3 times/day) so i was eager to do it again.

I have to mention that i do have serious anxiety and i hate being sexually involved in a public place around people i dont know. I barely have a hard on and a condom is out of the question. Still, im quite confident becaus i know i can last for hours ,hard as a rock if i have the right balanced eviroment. She also knows this so im ok with not having it hard in a club. I took full responsability about going there for her and her fantasies. I had, to be honest my fair share of FFM's ,wich i still consider to be the nicest, cleanest and drama free way to go when thinking about having more people in the bed.

So we did it again. This time there were three guys. Two alone, one couple.It was even better. The guys were nice, she experienced having all three around her, they lasted a bit longer than the first one but all in all, all three combined were faster than i am on a average intercourse. Then this great looking couple approached, and even if i was not sure what to do (having no hard-on) i managed to give that girl an orgasm by oral sex, then she played with my wife while her husband was having sex with her from behind.

At home, things got better and better. Going to the club made her evolve as a person 10X faster than i could possibly make it. I was for our entire relationship her guide of getting free of all those adolescent and childhood chains. She got a lot more confidence, her work results boosted also, she switched to a sales position, even her posture was better when she walked. Loved this about her.

The third time it was really ,really nice. There were this three italian guys. Gentlemen. One of them was a doctor (as i am) so we had stuff in common. We talked, i clicked with him and when stuff got hot, i even performd with my wife and we had a MMF with him. The other two were also nice and she experienced giving head to both at the same time and a number of other fantasies she had in the drawer.

We would talk about it, she would get wet and we would have sex for ours the weeks after this visit to the club.

Last saturday, she came up and asked if i wanted to go to the swingers club. It aroused me because until then, i was the one proposing and she was like "oh ,i dont know...". Seeing her taking responsabilty and voicing her desires aroused me ,so we dressed up and left for the club.

This time, it all got a bit weird.

There were only a decent looking jewish couple there, one really ok guy and some joker guy dressed as a fireman (it was a theme party). There were other couples but in their 40's and 50's and my wife prefferes people around our age.

We got to a late start. She was not into anyone, i was just playing around ,talking at the smoking lounge, relaxed. At one point the jewish couple left for one of the rooms with the fireman and the ok'ish guy was in another par of the club with another couple talking so we started kissing and touching all alone in a central part of the club.She was really horny so when the guy from the jewish couple appeared around us (dressed, without his wife) she asked me if i wanted him to join us. We got into a room, we started as usual (her giving a blowjob to both of us, we standing ,her on her knees) when his wife showed up. I wasnt into her...but she was nice and just stood there on the bed watching. Then the fireman showed up as well, following her. Neither of us liked him but we were new to the situation- having intimacy around people we dont like so we let it as it was). Fast forward, my wife got penetrated from behind by the jewish guy and the fireman was doing the same thing with his wife. I was getting head from mine. The fireman and the jewish girl were really loud and i could not concentrate on my errection. My wife was quite pleased about the guy's performance. The Ok'ish guy turned up also in the room asking to join and she invited him also. So far, it was ok. My wife was spitroasted by two guys and me, the fireman and the jewish girl doing their own thing, all in the same bed.

Now, the problem. Here i am, two hours into the thing, crammed into this tiny bed. I cant get it up because there are a lot of people around me.The jewish guy is NOT finishing, my wife likes it a lot, not getting bored or dry, or nothing. The Ok'ish guy next to me, finishing the 3'rd time in my wife's mouth (he had no chance to actually be in her, the other guy was literally an android of some sort). The fireman was also into his 2'nd hour of non stop sex, the jewish girl had 10 orgasms ,squirted at some point...i think she even fainted once. It's hot, sticky and boring. I love to see my wife having so much pleasure but i started to wonder what the hell i was doing there? iwanted to take the OK guy with me and go drink something, grab a bite and a smoke and let robocop and robofireman fuck the girls until...

At some point the jewish guy stopped and asked the fireman to give his wife to him. Got his condom out and started to have sex with her. The fireman rested for about 2 minutes and started to touch my wife. By that point she let him touch her (until them she seemed annoyed by his presence as well) and even let him penetrate her. He was huge and really stiff. About 3 inches longer than me for sure ,and i'm not small by any standard. he started to have sex with her and this lasted for another hour (yes, he had non-stop sex for 3 hours). In the end he finished and we all got dressed and left the club.

Now...the problem is she needs my presence and i have to be there. The 30-40 minutes experiences with guys i liked, sexually enhanced more or less like me, only 3 people at a time in a bed...i liked. It was still mostly for her pleasure buy i could get into the mood and be part of it. This time i felt really disconnected. It was really long and the bad part was that she liked it. a lot. I wanted to leave a few times but there i had the woman i love having a great time, not thinking straight (good for her) and i did not wanted to ruin it for her.

Hope i could make myself understood what it felt like. For a full hour at least we were not having fun. She was, i was just looking around for a vetilation shaft in a crowded bed.

When we taked about it she felt really bad and said we will never again do it. I know she likes it tho...

What should i do? I want to keep friendships and close relationships out of this. She also agrees on this.We both read a lot of stories online about people who got too far from full swap singer 4'somes. Knowing a guy's name, in daylight, flirting, finding common interests, etc seems nice but for us also spells "danger" and we really have a nice life. 3'some FFM we could handle because we were all into it and shared the girl. This time i am sharing her, not even taking part and it just feels wrong, especially when i am totally out of it and just waiting to finish.

 

Should i try to convince her it's ok and do it again? Should i let it alone and focus on our relationship and meeting a new girl from time to time? Some advice would be really nice at this point!

 

Sorry for the long post!

[dan63 106]

And your wife was able to walk afterwards? Damn

 

I would suggest that you communicate with your wife and make a "rule" that you will not play with more than 1 or 2 people at a time and stick to it. If an additional person wants to join in just tell them that you are busy right now but might be available later.

[Dr_Bear 18]

And your wife was able to walk afterwards? Damn

 

Not only able to walk...she was soaking wet and could easily have taken a hard pounding for another 2-3 hours. It's amazing, i know. Had no ideea si has so much stamina. The fact is..she enters this sexual trance where she can go on for hours and hours even to death if not disconnected....She cant have an orgasm (vaginal) so there are no spikes in her sexual flow. She just loves it and takes it for hours and hours, if provided.

 

The problem was the crowding. If it was up to my wife, she would refuse the fireman but he came after the other girl and just did it alongside us.

[luvin eye full 140]

You should NOT convince her about any thing - you SHOULD ask if she wants to do it again.

 

You both are in this together - talk to her and let her know all your feelings and ask her what hers are then make a plan for next time.

I don't care if it's the girl or boy when your partner is less in something then strangers then it's that person with the problem - even though effects you.

 

go talk to her set some boundaries if you have too.

[Guest]

Well firstly its very obvious by your post that YOU simply want to have MFF all of the time and nothing else. You know I agree having MFF all the time would be great However that is not my reality of swinging and like most things in life it would perhaps work much better with a balance between MFF & MMF.

 

The really good thing here is that your wife does not mind exploring MFF, your a lucky person. However she has also shown an interest in MMF, she enjoys another man on occasion. In other words if you stop MMF then in time maybe she will also want to stop MFF forever as well.

 

To me it seems like you are pushing for just MFF, but you probably need to keep it more balanced between MFF & MMF so that your wife continues to enjoy both and doesn't cancel the situation.

 

Some options would be:

 

Go to a club and let you wife have fun alone for a while, you sit at the bar for the first 30 mins and let her experience another guy, join in later after they have started to save you waiting around. Maybe make a rule where your wife can enjoy 1 other man so that when you attend a club she has one guy meaning your not stud around waiting for 2 or 3 other guys to finish.

 

However you could simply meet 1 guy and get to know them a little, I know your not keen on that idea but it would mean your wife gets a regular MMF but with a man you actually like and feel comfy with, for example a man who has a stamina / sexual prowess that is more suited to your own. In your post you said one man lasted a lot longer than you, that he was having sex for ages, you also said another guy had a much bigger penis and had sex with your wife. Maybe if you met one guy for more regular MMF then you could pick someone who doesn't last so long and who's penis isn't much bigger than your own.

 

Your wife enjoying MMF doesn't seem to be the problem, your wife enjoying MMMMF with 2 or 3 men who take ages and have bigger dicks seems to be the problem.

 

Personally I'd continue the MMF situation but make some kind of rule that it doesn't last too long, that you won't be left waiting, then also enjoy MFF