Playmate makes me feel weird

[louisvillemojo 41]

We have a couple we have known for about 2 years.

We used to play on regular basis, but they only wanted to play with us (going steady type thing) and we enjoy different expierences so about a year ago things got weird and we quit playing, but remained friends and see them and hang out at events, ect.

 

This past weekend they threw a party. Vibe seemed right so we played again. The next day we seen them at local club, it felt like they assumed we were going to play again and things were right back to how they used to be. We left early.

 

My issue: I dont know why, but it bothers me that my husband is the ONLY guy the lady of other couple will play with. In past 2 years, they refuse everyone else.

I'm flattered she enjoys my husband, and he is too, but something about it bothers me. She only wants to swing if its with my husband. She flat out says he is only guy she will fuck.

 

I'm not sure if this is jealousy or what. I don't really feel jealous of her and dont mind them having sex on occassion. But it makes me feel weird that they wait for him. Its not like they don't have other good options. We all hang out in a group of young, fun and hot people.

 

Am I crazy? Would this bother you? I tried to explain to my husband but he seemed to think I was just expierencing a bit of jealousy and of course he is flattered the lady only wants him so he doesn't understand my issue.

 

We like them and have fun togeather. But I don't want to be the only couple they play with. Of course, I can't control who they play with, it would just make me feel better about whole situation if she would just want to play with anyone else even once.

 

Can anyone help me break down what i'm feeling and why so we can address it better? Thanks!

[luvin eye full 140]

Well can not say we have come across this before - but we get what your saying ( well as much as we can ) Is your husband some how different to the guys she could go with? though it still would not explain it -

were you guys the 1st for then? just trying to think what it could be.

Has she ever tried any others or just flat said no only him.

Does she do girls?

Is your husband around the same size as hers - maybe she just feels comfortable around you enough to screw your husband and not others. man we are going to be here for ever there are so many things it could be - why not ask her why?

My most pressing question is how do you get your husbands head in and out of the house lol So one man in millions now feels like a hero, let him bath in it for a while for all other men sake lol.

[louisvillemojo 41]

Yes, we are their first & only in about 2 years of active lifestyle.

I get that she is comfortable with my man. Thats why she says she will only play him him.

Her husband is average size guy, my husband is hung (you asked) does that matter?

 

Husband is rightfully flattered, but I think it makes it harder to discuss with him cause he can't see my issue because he is so flattered.

 

Any advice?

[funcoupledayton 2,708]

I think you have a right to your feelings, but so does everyone else in the situation. It's probably something that is best for you to try to not worry about. You can ask your husband to reassure you, but you can't ask him to change his feelings about the situation. She is not trying to make your husband a boyfriend and she seems content to play when the situation presents itself rather than pestering you every weekend. I would keep doing what you're doing, maybe play once or twice a year if the feeling is right, be cordial the rest of the time and continue having fun with your other friends.

 

Everyone is different. Some people are very picky. Maybe experiencing one other person from time to time is all she is looking for. Your husband shouldn't feel guilty that it is him. Maybe she'll eventually open up to other people. I would not involve yourself in that project, though.

[luvin eye full 140]

lol - i was thinking maybe he was around the same size in stature / body type lol but thanks for that any way,

 

You may find she see's him a a novelty screw, and that's where its coming from, ( that's what Nina Hartley use to call her on stage big dicked males - as she preferred average for real life sex - go figure )

we really don't know - i think just bring it up next time and just say so why don't you do others just us?

Yes once our ego's ( and other things ) are stroked we can be some what blinded by it ( only a little though lol ) so he's not going to be any help lol.

 

funcoupledayton you maybe right here - how knows - but i have to admit i want to know now too lol.

[GoldCoCouple 4,066]

Chemistry...she felt chemistry, and probably comfortable (since he was her 1st 2nd) with your husband. If it really bothers you or your husband, don't play with them in the future. It is what it is...

[louisvillemojo 41]

I know she feels chemistry and is comfortable with him.

I feel like I didnt do a good job explaining exactly what i need help with here.

I need help coming to terms with the weird feeling *I* have about her only wanting my husband. I'm not sure why it bothers me, but it does.

They always want to play with us because my hubby is only one the other wife will play with. It makes it akward for me.

Hope I made more sense this time.

[Scaredstiff 129]

I would find that awkward, if there was a couple and the guy only ever played with my wife I'd be thinking "woah hang on a minute" I'd be worried there was more to it than just feeling comfortable, not sure what the solution is but I guess it's either don't play with them anymore or tell her your feelings. It doesn't really matter whether you're right or wrong to feel the way you do, it's just the way you feel and that's that.

[CostaRica 130]

I totally get the weird feeling you're experiencing, I'm right there with you just reading your post. Here's what I'm reading

- She only wants to screw your husband

- Because of that if they had their way you would all always play together and do so exclusively

 

To me this would feel not only stifling, but also like they were just asking way too much, and perhaps because of how they reacted the last time you all played together you're feeling pressured to commit to something that isn't ultimately what you want out of your swing experience.

 

I think this is just one of those fundamental incompatibilities that comes up from time to time. They're looking for a steady and exclusive relationship, you're looking to play with multiple people who are also out having their own experiences so don't come across as needy. You can't give them what they want and they can't give you what you want, so why keep trying to force a round peg into a square hole, just stop playing with them (because as they have been so clear about what they want, every time you play with them you're probably giving them hope that you're going to be what they want).

[luvin eye full 140]

Lol - Oh yer i forgot you had the question of why you feel weird lol ( to busy trying to find the why in it all )

 

I don't think to many of us would not feel at lest some awkwardness about it. Both my wife and i would ( yes i asked her )

and we really can not put our finger on why either - i think the most likely reason is that it's not the way we do things, so it seems different and our minds then think - well why?

they most likely have a "outing" only now and then and feel you guys are cool with it. and if that's so then instead of feeling uneasy or what ever feel honored that they pick you guys out of so many others.

 

Best we could come up with lol.

[GoldCoCouple 4,066]

How about because it's weird. Too much of a potential threat to your relationship. Move along...

[luvin eye full 140]

GoldCoCouple - We have a winner lol

[Initwithher 40]

I feel your concerns, as all of the OP has commented it's a bit weird, but since you guys are in this together your SO should really consider your feelings and awkwardness of this exclusivety the other female wants,also I think you should approach the situation by turning the tables around!! What if the other male only wanted to be with you?? How your husband feel about the other males desires to play only you? I hope by now you have worked your differents regarding this issue. Best of luck