Is there such a thing as a swinger mentor couple?

[Alex77 26]

So my wife and I are finally in sync. Now we both know that we were moving way too fast. Now that we are in sync with each other we have started to be more open and transparent with our fantasies and our feelings.

 

We know now that we want to start by going to a club and watch and maybe even play with each other and not with a couple. YET. But now we are wondering if there is such a thing as being able to find a couple that has been in the lifestyle for a good minute that could hang out with us and maybe mentor us.

 

I hope that makes sense. That they would be local enough were they would know the scene around the area. Where to actually find local clubs. We really believe in etiquette, but again, would be nice to be able to talk to someone about those things. Nothing beats a face to face conversation, and this we believe would be great.

 

A couple that would not be expecting to have a play time with us. That sounded mean. I mean that we don't have to be attracted to each other to be able to have a friendship that would guide us through the our beginning.

[SASS 69]

This sounds good in theory. I don't know how you would go about finding a couple like that. I have put it in a profile before that we were interested in "friends in the lifestyle that we do not play with" yeah, that didn't get any hits. my first thought when I read your title however was that I think you come to the right place as this is a great site where a lot of friends are made. I hope you will look around.

 

I have read a lot about what to expect at the clubs on these forum pages and a lot of generalized mentoring goes on. we are all here to help each other.

[Scaredstiff 129]

I think you'll find this without actually looking, if you just went to a club and were honest with people about being very new, very cautious, you'd find plenty of couples more than happy to spend time with you and answer questions , at least that's our experience so far.

I'm a little worried that you say you don't need to feel attracted to this couple, I mean I get what you're saying but wouldn't it be better if there was an attraction? If you answered no to that question then I don't think you're really mentally ready to do this, if your at all scared or intimidated by attractive couples then I think your not really being honest with yourselves about trusting your partner.

As newbies to a club we were similar in that one of our biggest worries was that people would be expecting us to have sex with them or that we would create a scene by turning a couple down or saying no, it was nothing like that as it happens , once people know it's your first time in a club they tend to not expect you to play anyway and nobody ever really expects you to play whether you're new or not.

 

I'd say go to a club and make friends with the regulars, then you know if you ever return chances are you'll already know someone there, and they'll most likely always keep an eye out for you and have your back.

 

First time we played at a club a regular came up and asked if the heating was OK, but I could tell that really he was checking that we were ok because he knew we were new to things and the couple we were with were more hardened swingers, we were fine and it was a great night

[Alex77 26]

Thank you and thank you for the response. Yea I guess I can see that now that you mentioned it. Maybe making friends here as well since here you can see everyone's intentions. We do want to play with other couples bit I wondered if they would even talk to us if we had said we were looking for a couple to hang out with first. Maybe go to a club together.

 

I am really happy that we found this forum. We have been looking around and have been reading a lot. Even posted a big thread. It the answers were helpful. It is actually what got my wife and I in sync.

[Alex77 26]

I think you'll find this without actually looking, if you just went to a club and were honest with people about being very new, very cautious, you'd find plenty of couples more than happy to spend time with you and answer questions , at least that's our experience so far.

I'm a little worried that you say you don't need to feel attracted to this couple, I mean I get what you're saying but wouldn't it be better if there was an attraction? If you answered no to that question then I don't think you're really mentally ready to do this, if your at all scared or intimidated by attractive couples then I think your not really being honest with yourselves about trusting your partner.

As newbies to a club we were similar in that one of our biggest worries was that people would be expecting us to have sex with them or that we would create a scene by turning a couple down or saying no, it was nothing like that as it happens , once people know it's your first time in a club they tend to not expect you to play anyway and nobody ever really expects you to play whether you're new or not.

 

I'd say go to a club and make friends with the regulars, then you know if you ever return chances are you'll already know someone there, and they'll most likely always keep an eye out for you and have your back.

 

First time we played at a club a regular came up and asked if the heating was OK, but I could tell that really he was checking that we were ok because he knew we were new to things and the couple we were with were more hardened swingers, we were fine and it was a great night

 

 

Oh sorry, I did not mean it like that. I really need to make sure how things sound like before I write. We are not intimidated by people or their looks. We also have full trust in each other otherwise we would not have been thinking about this. What i meant is that we are scared that no one would give us the time of day.

 

After what you said here actually puts me a little more at rest. I thank you for that. We are very excited about this. Now trying to find out if there is a club near us that we could check out. The thing is finding them. Lol

[Scaredstiff 129]

Ah ok cool,

Well I'm in the uk so I can't be much help with how to find clubs but I'm sure someone will chime in soon.

 

Just make sure you do your homework, read reviews of the club , try and find people online to chat to that have been, post a thread on here asking about a particular club etc

We did a lot of prep work, we probably swapped messages with about a dozen couples that had visited the club we were intending on, it was a good move because we swapped face pics with a few and they recognised us as soon as we walked in, so our first few hours were spent chatting to them, we were pretty nervous walking in the place, we had honestly never done anything like it before, but the atmosphere was so chilled and friendly that we felt completely comfortable within 10 minutes of being in the place, from our experience swingers tend to be pretty good at starting up a conversation , most don't mind putting themselves out there, and all the people we met were really nice , entertaining people to talk to.

 

We agreed no play on first visit but we went up to the playrooms to check it out and ended up playing with each other.

You will be surprised at how natural it all seems.

[Guest]

Yes there is such a thing, I have seen it before.

 

There is a couple who have a web site an everything, they hold group sessions for couples.

 

From what I remember they own a swing club somewhere.

 

Can't remember where it was years ago that I noticed their video.