Body size - what do men want?

[Guest]

Sorry if this has been asked before, but I have a question.

 

When I introduced myself at the beginning of the year I mentioned that I was losing weight - which I am doing. I am working out, lifting heavy and running/cycling over 120 miles per month. I can see changes in my body and I am thrilled. I am a work in progress though, and after birthing 12 kids my stomach is still flabby and I am not sure that it will ever go all the way down. For the most part I am ok with that. However, we were with M, the male counterpart of one of our couples the other day. His wife could not be there, so we played without her. She is gorgeous - pert boobs, almost flat stomach and lovely long lean legs. I have great boobs, but I joke that it is a good thing that Mr T is a boob man, because I have thick legs - they are as strong as anything, don't get me wrong, I have strong muscular (well getting more muscular) legs and they serve me well, but I am not about to win any Ms Legs competitions with them.

 

Anyway, M said to me, "Man, I love the thick legs, and the belly rolls." (not that I have that many any longer!) As we drove home that night I said to Mr T, "Ok. I am working my butt off to get into shape, and yet you and M like the rolls! What is it that guys like?" I have no intention of becoming the next Kate Moss, I like food far too much for that, but I do want to be strong, and muscular (not body builder type though). The image I am going for is Linda Hamilton in T2, of course with probably some belly rolls because well, 12 kids. My goal is not unrealistic, but it seems like the guys we meet seem to like their women curvy. For the record I am 5'3", weigh 150lbs right now and am in a size 8 down from a 14 earlier this year. I will always have an hourglass figure no matter how tiny I get.

 

So, what is it guys of a certain age (above 40) want? I am so confused! I am not going to stop working out because this is for me, not even for Mr T, and not for anyone else. But I guess I just thought all guys wanted us women to look like a curvier version of supermodels. I am sure most guys think most supermodels are too thin, but wanted a woman who at least didn't carry extra pounds! Please, enlighten me!

[MrSaxon 39]

Curves, skinny, shapely or thick - the main thing that I personally find attractive is confidence and happiness. If a person does not feel comfortable in their own skin, it'll be very obvious in where and how they present their body. If you work hard, and take pride in your own body, then your partner(s) will notice and appreciate it. My wife is a little bit thicker, but she works her ass off and has lost close to 30 pounds over the past 4 months. While I don't love her any more or any less, her own concern about the potential health risks and general appearance has made a very large difference in how I approach her. I have always maintained a fairly healthy lifestyle and take pride in being "in shape," and having a partner who does the same can only do one thing: be awesome.

 

That being said; remember that we in the lifestyle are more akin to a smorgasbord than a sandwich shop - were all about different flavors and textures rather than one type forever. Much like how women might prefer different types of gentlemen depending on many circumstances, guys prefer different gals depending on what they want. I go through phases where at times I'm all about boobs, or legs, or certain positions that are facilitated by a certain shaped partner. Then two weeks later my preferences change again, which is one of the reasons we joined the lifestyle. Hopefully we're never bored!

 

At the end of the day, be comfortable with yourself and take pride in the accomplishments you have had: a woman who has had 12 kids and a good shape is in my mind more impressive than a 20 year old with a washboard stomach - you can tell who really wants it and who was just lucky!

[Dont.Stop 339]

There is no one size fits all answer to this question. Like MrSaxon, I also find confidence the most appealing factor. Mrs. Stop is curvy and I love her that way, but a slender woman can grab my attention just as well. I know some guys do have more narrow view of appealing than others do, but you'll find guys will be all over the spectrum.

 

Make sure your exercise goals put YOUR desires front and center. You'll feel good about yourself because you're becoming what you want to be, and that oh so sexy confidence will come oozing through.

[cplnuswing 4,713]

I totally agree that sexy starts in the mind, not anywhere else. The degree to which our culture tells women they can't be this with being that and vice versa on all sorts of subjects just pisses me off. And, to be honest, it sorta aggravates me when women fall for what is basically a marketing ploy instead of believing what is right in front of them in the form of a guy who says he thinks they are sexy and means every bit of it.

 

Don't let anyone tell you how you should feel about yourself, and don't judge yourself on what you think others think of you when in fact that's probably not accurate to start with, it's just what someone is trying to convince you to be so.

[Guest]

Thanks everyone for your answers. I know it comes down to personality and charisma, and I am told I have both in spades! And I am not really body conscious, especially not since we started swinging and both men and women tell me that I am hot. I just thought it was ironic that I am working the hardest to lose the two areas that seem to be very attractive to others! However my new found energy and flexibility certainly seem to make up for anything else!

[GoldCoCouple 4,066]

So, what is it guys of a certain age (above 40) want?

 

Answer: Yes.

 

Different strokes for different folks. Women (usually) seem to come here wondering if they are 'enough'...good enough or pretty enough or skinny enough to be swinging. What they are told (and usually need to see to believe) is that there is someone for everyone here. Just that a woman is interested in swinging makes them very exciting from the start. After 40, almost all women have something that they wish was better, but after 40 most men realize that the biggest sex organs are a woman's brain, personality, and confidence. While we also commend you for working out and encourage you to keep it up (it will keep you around longer until we all have time to play together ), looks become less of a priority with age. Remember, beauty is only skin deep and is fleeting, but sexy comes from much deeper within. Without even seeing you, we can tell that you are hot.

[KevandPam1971 18]

It is all in an individual preference. As most have said attitude can be one of the biggest attractions. Take my wife, she is a BBW and has some internal confidence issues, but in general at parties we go to she is the center of attention, mainly because of her personality. Personally as a 43yo male, personality speaks volumes.