Ostomies and sex partner feelings

[HornyToronto 51]

My wife and I are new to this, but VERY excited at the possibilities. Right now we are only into voyeurism and exhibitionism and don't really want to share (yet). She is a very attractive, confident and sexy woman. Several years ago she suffered from Crohn's disease and had to have an Ileostomy. Though she is not self conscious about it, she is concerned others may not feel comfortable about it in a Swinger's Club.

 

Does anyone have any experience, advice, words of wisdom on this topic? Thanks!

[HornyToronto 51]

OK, no replies yet (see above). I understand this may be a sensitive issue for some, but we are completely comfortable with it. The wife wears a band to cover up the the ileostomy. We would like to get some honest, candid feedback on this. Please? You won't hurt our feelings.

[dan63 106]

Maybe you should explain what an Ileostomy is, what it looks like etc. Sorry but most people aren't going to go around googling a term just so they can respond.

 

Dan

[SW_PA_Couple 4,026]

My wife and I know one woman who has a bag strapped to her side (urinary type). We see her occasionally at house parties. I have played with her on more than one occasion. I am not bothered by the thought of it.

[HornyToronto 51]

Maybe you should explain what an Ileostomy is, what it looks like etc. Sorry but most people aren't going to go around googling a term just so they can respond.

 

Dan

 

Sorry Dan, I thought this was fairly common knowledge since it affects far more people than you might be aware of. It is not noticeable when a person is fully clothed. You probably know people with them but don't even know it! A little education then...

 

An ostomy may be necessary for seven reasons 1. Diverticulitis 2. Crohn's disease 3. Bowel Cancer 4. Bowel Obstruction 5. Trauma/Injury 6. Emergency (temporary) 7. Bowel Incontinence. The required surgery brings the intestine to the surface of the abdomen (stoma). The patient wears a pouch/bag to collect the contents of the intestine. That's it in a nutshell.

 

Before she had the surgery we were both concerned about how it would affect our sexual life, but it has been mostly a non-issue. Being a woman, it did however affect her sense of body imagery initially but with my support, has overcome that issue. As stated above, my wife wears a stretchy "belt" to cover her's up when we get intimate, even though it's not necessary for my enjoyment. More for her comfort level. We are both very comfortable and it has absolutely no negative impact on our sex life whatsoever. She is a very beautiful, sensual and sexy woman.

 

We just wanted to hear what people's thoughts were in regard to showing up at a Swinger's Club since we're new to this. Don't worry, you won't offend us. Thanks!

[Wornsilver 219]

Anyone who has "experienced" life (ok, so I'm old!!) understands the basic body functions and also the malfunctions that happen. I am not crazy about incisions, colostomy bags or other various appliances and appendages, but another part of me is so thankful that people can lead completely normal lives with the aid of modern medicine.

 

While I have never had the occasion to have sex with a woman who has a device like that, I'm probably horny enough that it just isn't going to make a difference to me.

 

Hypothetical, but that would be my best guess.

[CostaRica 130]

I've never played with someone who has had a Ileostomy, but if I were to I would probably have some concerns that would need to be addressed, mainly because I would be worried about hurting someone/causing problems. What happens if I knock the bag, could that hurt your wife? I would hope that the playmate in question would be upfront about it and have a statement to help me understand what is and isn't OK. Simply saying something like "I have this, this is what it's for, it's covered with a strap, don't worry if you knock or bump it, you can't hurt me or dislodge it or anything like that" would probably be enough for me to feel comfortable playing.

[dan63 106]

I've never played with someone who has had a Ileostomy, but if I were to I would probably have some concerns that would need to be addressed, mainly because I would be worried about hurting someone/causing problems. What happens if I knock the bag, could that hurt your wife? I would hope that the playmate in question would be upfront about it and have a statement to help me understand what is and isn't OK. Simply saying something like "I have this, this is what it's for, it's covered with a strap, don't worry if you knock or bump it, you can't hurt me or dislodge it or anything like that" would probably be enough for me to feel comfortable playing.

 

Agree completely. Personality and overall appearance is going to make the initial connection. Just make sure you let any potential playmates know what to expect before you go to the play area, then the ball is in their court.

 

Also Toronto, thank-you for the education.

[HornyToronto 51]

I've never played with someone who has had a Ileostomy, but if I were to I would probably have some concerns that would need to be addressed, mainly because I would be worried about hurting someone/causing problems. What happens if I knock the bag, could that hurt your wife? I would hope that the playmate in question would be upfront about it and have a statement to help me understand what is and isn't OK. Simply saying something like "I have this, this is what it's for, it's covered with a strap, don't worry if you knock or bump it, you can't hurt me or dislodge it or anything like that" would probably be enough for me to feel comfortable playing.

 

Thanks for your reply, much appreciated! Just to keep the information flowing...my wife and I have a VERY active and pleasurable sex life. There has never been any concerns about hurting her or dislodging the equipment in the heat of the moment. Thanks again for your openness on the topic.

[cplnuswing 4,713]

I've never played with someone who has had a Ileostomy, but if I were to I would probably have some concerns that would need to be addressed, mainly because I would be worried about hurting someone/causing problems.

 

This would be me. I wouldn't be put off by anything like that, but I would be worried I would accidentally hurt them somehow by being clumsy or just out of sheer ignorance on how I should be doing what and what I should not be doing. I think the being upfront about it and a quick lesson on do's and dont's would be a great help for making people feel comfortable, and then it's game on