Is this "soft swinging"?

[DC72 17]

Hi y'all - Brand new member here. My wife and I are curious and have never done anything with another couple at all. Just dirty talk about fucking other people etc.

 

But what we are wanting is for her to do touching only on another guy. Maybe like a male stripper (except I know they typically don't let you touch, at least the women strippers that I've seen). Is that something we could do at a swingers club? Also maybe for the guy to masturbate while sitting next to us while we had sex possibly. With her possibly touching him.

 

Any of you have any experience with anything like this or know where we would look first? Is this what's called soft swinging?

 

Thanks!

[Dont.Stop 339]

Soft swinging is sexual contact that doesn't involve intercourse.

 

You may find someone who is willing to do this with you. Don't be surprised if you find that others are looking for a bit more involvement.

 

You might want to start out by visiting a club and see what goes on. Then go home and talk it over.

 

Have fun.

[dan63 106]

But what we are wanting is for her to do touching only on another guy.

 

Just a request for clarification and then my opinion.

 

With this limit of "touching only" are we referring to including masturbation or maybe even oral?

 

IF this is the case I believe you could probably find this pretty easily at a club. It would just be a matter of being up front about what you are open to and explaining to the other party that you are both new to the lifestyle and just want to take things slowly. If you have to hard of a time finding a single male to fulfill this fantasy you might want to consider another couple. Also opens all kinds of other possibilities and stays within the realm of soft swing.

 

If on the other hand your definition of "touching only" includes everything up to but not beyond holding hands, then all I can say is GOOD LUCK.

[DC72 17]

Lol. Well, more than holding hands but no oral. Masturbation yes. At least that's what we're thinking.

[DC72 17]

From some of the movies we've seen this may be more considered "hotwifing" but only soft core hotwifing.

[DC72 17]

Our best friends do hotwifing. My wife doesn't know and the other couples wife doesn't know that I know.

[cplnuswing 4,713]

I think you will easily find what you are after at a swingers club. In fact, single guys wanting to masturbate while they watch are common, sometimes to the point of being a nuisance which is why many clubs put limits of some type of another on single males (only so many allowed in, restricted to certain areas of the club, etc.).

 

So, find a club that allows single males, spend some time chatting up the ones she finds interesting, tell the lucky winner up front what the expectations and boundaries are for him, and I'll bet 99 out of 100 will be all for it. Since there will be plenty of potential takers on this deal, her (and you) can afford to be really choosy and make sure you all find someone where there is good connection all around.

 

Good luck!

[DC72 17]

I think you will easily find what you are after at a swingers club. In fact, single guys wanting to masturbate while they watch are common, sometimes to the point of being a nuisance which is why many clubs put limits of some type of another on single males (only so many allowed in, restricted to certain areas of the club, etc.).

 

So, find a club that allows single males, spend some time chatting up the ones she finds interesting, tell the lucky winner up front what the expectations and boundaries are for him, and I'll bet 99 out of 100 will be all for it. Since there will be plenty of potential takers on this deal, her (and you) can afford to be really choosy and make sure you all find someone where there is good connection all around.

 

Good luck!

 

Awesome info ! I'll be relaying to wifey later on tonight!

[cplnuswing 4,713]

One other bit of advice. If you go into the group play area when it's busy, then you may end up with more than you want, meaning that people aren't as likely to realize that you three have something pre-arranged going on and so might want to join in themselves. No always means no, and the club will deal with anyone who doesn't get that message, but you don't want to make the first experience any more stressful by having to keep saying no and shooing others away.

 

Two solutions to that. One is a private play room. Our experiences with those haven't been good. Since they are usually few in number, they stay filled and you have to wait for one to open up, and then you are in there about three minutes before some half drunk idiot who can't wait his turn decides to start knocking on the door.

 

Better option is to go to the group play area, which is usually much larger. It's not as private as a small room with a door of course, but there are usually some nooks and crannies that are semi-private and if you go up there early, you should have it mostly to yourself.

[EastInWest 1,524]

I do think that most people who hear the term "soft swap" probably infer that there will be hand/oral stimulation going on, rather than heavy petting and mutual masturbation, but it's definitely something that there are people out there who would be into it. "Same room play" is a thing, too.

 

When we started exploring the idea of playing, I had a lot of fun with encouraging Mrs. EastInWest to dress provocatively and get fairly hands-on on the dance floor or at bars. She likes to have her breasts touched and it was fun for her to have a socially acceptable outlet. It is one possible way to explore this type of play and keep it light/fun, since there aren't too many vanilla men who will protest a woman who wants to grope or be groped a little and you can cut it off harmlessly if either of you feel uncomfortable.

 

With that in mind, have your boundaries discussion in advance - both with potential partners and each other. Before we were "exclusive", many years ago, we had an unplanned play session where some incidental flirting led to touching led to Mrs. EastInWest necking and giving head topless in the back of the car. Fine with me, I'm always game to watch a woman perform and the sex was great afterwards, but it could just as easily be a very bad time for some couples if either of you don't feel like you know where to stop or aren't dealing with a respectful play partner.