Newcomers to swinging...how to handle demanding play partner?

[Interstedyes 19]

Hi all we are wondering if its normal to be in a playful relationship with another couple and have the male of the other couple try to do things we are uncomfortable with? We are happy to play, but when it comes to him wanting to just watch our wives and not wanting me to be involved makes my wife and i a bit uneasy on the whole situation,my wife is a cuddly girl and still has body hang ups is fine to get into it in a foursome but having to be one on one f/f and being watched is not what she ideally want...we had a chat about the situation and he got quite pissed off about us not wanting to be seperated into pairs....we are going to pull the pin on the play nights now but are we being unreallistic just wanting a foursome or are we selfish...any help welcome before we end the fun...?

[adamgunn 1,460]

The general rule is, if you feel uncomfortable, don't do it.

 

The other guy not wanting you to be involved? I'd run as fast as I could.

[Dont.Stop 339]

It's not about what he wants, it's about what everyone agrees to. I understand the excitement in watching to women together, but shouldn't come at the expense of someone else's comfort.

"This is not what WE want to do" is what you tell him. And if that's a problem for him then the party's over.

Selfish? Who doesn't get into the lifestyle for selfish reasons??

[GoldCoCouple 4,066]

we had a chat about the situation and he got quite pissed off about us not wanting to be seperated into pairs

 

What?!! You tried to talk with him and he got upset about it? I would pull more than play rights. It may very well be time to move on...

[cplnuswing 4,713]

I agree with everyone above. As soon as I read the "he got pissed" part of your post, that's all I needed to know to say to cut ties with them.

[njbm 2,880]

Ditto! All four agree to the limits or it's a no go! Find new playmates who can collaborate.

[Interstedyes 19]

Thank you all for your thoughts. I had a feeling we were doing the right thing on pulling the pin...my wife and I feel much better on our decision now...although we will have to find new playfriends and that will take time, but it will add to some fun in itself....thank you all.

[EastInWest 1,524]

Mixing sex and anger is probably not a good way to go. If he can't play without getting pissy when he doesn't get his way, that's a shame. Obviously isn't compatible with people who aren't looking for girl-on-girl exhibitionism.

[Guest]

Personally I'd end it before it gets started.

 

If you agree to do what this other man wants, then next time he will be asking for even more.

 

He will then ask / demand that he is allowed threesomes with his wife and yours, that he wants anal sex all the time with your wife, that he wants weekends alone with your wife.

 

Remember the old saying... Give people an inch and they will take a mile.

 

Give in to his demands and he will come back next week with another 3 or 4 demands.