RandyNAngie 19 Posted June 7, 2017 My boyfriend and I are going to an on-premise club Friday. I have played but only MFF and never at a club. I'm excited and nervous at the same time. My boyfriend has been to a club before. He tells me he's good with whatever does or doesn't happen...I believe and trust that fully. I think I'm most nervous about giving off an "I'm not interested" vibe because I'm a little shy. Randy, however, is not shy. I don't want people to think he's dragging an unwilling participant. I'm also not sure if we'll be able to find what we're interested in. As of right now, I am not interested in a full swap. However, I know gonna change and to keep an open mind. Finding a single woman would be ideal. Playing with another woman while the guys watch, that's a possibility. How would you gently tell someone you're only interested in half the couple? For example, just the women? Thanks for any insight. Quote Share this post Link to post
cplnuswing 4,713 Posted June 8, 2017 Swingers are good at reading people, so I don't think you'll have much of an issue. It's usually really easy to tell the difference between shy and/or nervous and flat out don't want to be there. It's almost a visible dark aura someone puts off when they don't want to be there. If all you are looking for is girl-girl right now, then just work that into the conversation early on and then those that aren't interested in her playing but not him (which honestly, will be most) then that gives them a chance to just pull back and move on. That's not to say you have to make the announcement the first words out of your mouth right after your names when introducing yourselves, but for those who you meet where you spend a little time together and it seems like it may be going somewhere, then that's the time to get that out in the open. 1 Quote Share this post Link to post
RandyNAngie 19 Posted June 8, 2017 Sounds like good advice. I'm not saying a full or soft swap will never happen...I just think I would have to get used to the idea first. I'm bi-sexual and my last partner allowed me to play and we allowed him to join after some time. That's all I've done so far so that's where my comfort level currently is. Quote Share this post Link to post
cplnuswing 4,713 Posted June 8, 2017 Nothing wrong with that at all, staying in your comfort zone is what is needed to get a good start in swinging. Being pushed, either by yourself or someone else, into too much too fast usually doesn't work out well in the end. Quote Share this post Link to post
GoldCoCouple 4,066 Posted June 8, 2017 First: go with NO expectations other than having a fun night out with your SO. You don't need to be feeling any pressure, especially self induced. Just have fun...it's just a bar with dancing and other couples just like any bar...of course you will probably see more skin than you would ever see at a normal bar and maybe even watch what some people only do in the privacy of their bedrooms, but that's the point in going, right? Second: You're not interested in full swap at this time so even the slightest possibility of full swap is off the table and not going to happen. Maybe remind your man of this just so you are both on the same page. Never move faster than the slowest person is comfortable with. You are not comfortable with this at this time so it isn't going to happen (currently it should be one of your 'rules' and should not be changed unless discussed and agreed upon in the future outside of the possibility of it happening). Now, go and have a good time. It's okay to be shy, but at the same time, be nice. Say hello and be polite like you were taught. Swingers are friendly people and want to get to know you. There IS a big difference (and it's easy to spot) between shy (uncomfortable to be there) and not interested (I don't want to be there, go away). Walking thru the door will probably be very hard and uncomfortable to do, but by the end of the night, I strongly suspect that you will look back and think how silly it was for you to have been worried about it. When you get there, if you tell the desk that this is your first visit, they will usually give you a tour, show you were everything is, and make you feel more at ease with everything. Let others know that this is your first visit (great conversation starter). Usually, IF anyone is thinking about wanting to play, someone will mention 'what are you looking for?'. Don't be afraid, just tell them what you are interested in. Finding a single woman will probably be hard (they are called unicorns for a reason), but finding another couple willing to allow only the women to play is a very real possibility (if we were there and felt a connection, we would be game). Just plan on having a fun night out and you will do just fine. Most swingers don't bite (too hard and only if you ask) and are very nice and friendly. I think you will find that it was much more exciting than you expected...and it usually leads to some great sex when you get home (sometimes before you get home ). Let us know how things went and we will you a great evening! 2 Quote Share this post Link to post
RandyNAngie 19 Posted June 8, 2017 Thank you. The replies are definitely helping to ease my nerves a little bit.I'm as curious and excited as I am nervous. I've read to dress the part so I am wearing a dress that comes about to my knees but showing lots of boobage. Lol. Worried it's not enough and my SO told me I'm over thinking. Lol. Anyhow, I will definitely report back on how my first visit goes. Tomorrow can't get here fast enough. Tomorrow, I'll probably be asking for another day to prepare myself! Quote Share this post Link to post
dan63 106 Posted June 8, 2017 Angie, I would say you probably have a couple things really going in your favor of having a good time tomorrow night. First of all, it sounds like Randy knows the "rules of swinging" and isn't going to place you in a bad situation. He is saying the right words anyway. Secondly I can feel the excitement in your words. Excitement is good, dread and fear are bad. That excitement will show on your face. There will be some trepidation and even fear there also, especially when you are going and when you first arrive, but if it is anything like our club experience within the first hour you will be feeling much more comfortable. Until you go to the play area it will be just like any other nightclub experience. I would say your chances of fulfilling your fantasy is probably pretty high. Especially if you hook up with another couple you allow the other husband to watch also. I believe that would open up more opportunities for you at the club. Have a blast and we will be expecting a report back as early on Saturday as you can get out of bed and get a cup of coffee. Figure around noon. 1 Quote Share this post Link to post
GoldCoCouple 4,066 Posted June 9, 2017 Worried it's not enough and my SO told me I'm over thinking. You are. Deep breath, it will be okay...it will actually be better than okay but you just don't know that yet. Yes, wear something that makes you feel sexy. This is the one place where you can get away with wearing anything (or nothing for that matter), but wear something that you are comfortable with...(and then don't wear any underwear ). We are looking forward to that report as well. We think you will be telling us about the great time you had... Quote Share this post Link to post
therabbit 16 Posted July 1, 2017 Lol. Worried it's not enough and my SO told me I'm over thinking. Lol. Hi is right, just be relaxed and everything will be just great! Quote Share this post Link to post
Markjorge1 59 Posted July 2, 2017 hi. Hope you had a great time. Waiting for an update of your night 1 Quote Share this post Link to post
