Possibility of her being a hotwife...

[GeoMol18 18]

Hi! We're new here and hoping to learn some things as we move forward in our journey.

 

We've been taking about sharing her for some time. At first, as is normal, she wasn't sure about it. Then, as time went by, we decided for now, we'd allow her to do "touch only" encounters. This would be someone getting her off via hands, and her doing the same for him. The idea behind this was to start slow as she gets very excited thinking about all of this.

 

Last week, after I told her about some CL ads I found where guys would be willing to do oral on her for the sake of doing it. Friday, she asked me to "make it happen" so, I started responding to a couple of ads...set up a time and place for them to meet. Two things happened. 1. He didn't look like he did in the picture he sent and 2. After she got to the location, he decided to change the venue. We were texting the entire time and she didn't feel right about the last second change of location and she bailed out it. Which was fine with me. From what I'm gathering from some of the boards here, CL isn't exactly the best place to find someone for this effort.

 

After some long talks over the weekend, she's comfortable with this arrangement without me there if we find the right guy, but, if I was there, she's comfortable with having sex with someone.

 

So...we need to do a better job of planning and vetting possible playmates. What I'm hoping for is some advice on where to look for playmates. Specific apps or sites for people that might be up for this sort of thing. There is a lot out there and it's overwhelming. And I want the next experience to be a positive one.

 

Any advice people might have would be very welcome! Thank you!

[Alura 2,774]

from Oklahoma, GeoMo118! Those things would freak me out, too.

 

My late wife and I experimented with "Hot Wifing." In fact it was our first adventure in swinging. If you'd like to read about us, click on "here" below.

 

Hot Wifing was a thing we didn't continue, preferring couples, but we both thought it was one of the hottest things we did in twenty-seven years of our marriage.

 

I hope y'all enjoy your visits with us!

[Lionheart72 2,190]

I recommend avoiding CL like the plague. Personally, we haven't ever had much luck with online sites in general. We prefer to play at our area swingers club. We've found clubs have several benefits... You get to see what everyone looks like, and acts like, right up front. If the first person you set your sights on doesn't work out, you can always move on to the next one (and this is expected behavior). An on premises club avoids the whole "where do we meet" and "let's go somewhere else" issues. Finally, every club I've been to has some form of security on staff just in case. My wife has gone solo to our local club a few times with... fun... results more often than not.

[adamgunn 1,460]

We've had some really good luck on SwingLifestyle

[MWCinlove24 15]

We are new to the lifestyle and, like you, were going the hotwife way. My wife is unsure if she'd like me there the first time or two so we advertised for FWBs on SLS. She gets a lot of hits there, but like any where you have to vet them. We've met a couple guys that seemed interesting but only one has gone to the bedroom. We met another couple guys this week but they are now acting pretty immature so they look like they'll be crossed off the list also. I've heard that CL is definitely NOT the way to go and that local swinger clubs could be a better start. Good luck!

[ErikaAndPeter 104]

We have also had some success at SLS. When we started, one way that we were able to weed out fakers was to have my husband meet my potential partner somewhere in public first. If he seemed like a good fit, I would meet him another day, again in public, either with my husband or alone. If I liked him, we would then retire to a hotel. As I have become more comfortable and savvy, I have been able to find partners ("bulls") on my own.

[GoldCoCouple 4,066]

Craigslist is usually men looking to cheat on their wives, picture collectors or just trying to get off by knowing someone wants them. Not looking like their picture isn't a surprise (they don't want their wife to find out). Changing venues is what would worry me. STAY AWAY!

 

Top of the page is a tab labeled Finding Swingers. Use that...most swinger websites will let you set up a free account and just limit how many emails you can send. SLS has been mentioned (we are lifetime members of SLS ourselves) but different areas of the country have different sites that are more popular than others so check and see what is best for your area. Other than that, one of my current favorite sayings is: finding single guys is like finding cheeseburgers at McDonalds. At least on a swingers site they are fighting for the women and will be less likely to flake. Good luck and let us know how things go.

[GeoMol18 18]

Thanks everyone for your input!! I created a profile on SLS and see where it goes. And yes, done with CL at this point. I do like the idea of meeting the guy before hand. It would make me feel more comfortable knowing the guy isn't a creeper or up to something bad. While I plan on being there when things happen, making sure everyone is comfortable (including me) is something I'm all about.

[GoldCoCouple 4,066]

We would recommend that the three of you meet first for dinner or drinks (only) to make sure that someone even shows up and to get to know him. If he passes this test, then he and the wife can think about meeting a second time.