How did you start swinging?

[CassieNineTales 26]

Oh my god! I have so many questions for you guys and ladies! Im new to this and very curious how you got started in swinging and why? Did you start out with strangers or friends? What advice do you have for newcomers into the swing world? Sorry if I sound nosey. Just very curious. =)

[ViSexual 1,008]

My wife and I were seduced by friends the first time. And, three of the other four couples we swapped with were also friends first. One couple we met through a swinger's meet and greet.

 

And, as for advice, talk it out a lot and don't get in a hurry. If you do decide to take the plunge, whether ankle deep or in the deep end, enjoy every little step. Discussing and planning can sure inspire some fun activities between just the two of you.

[oc1234 436]

We were seduced by our best friends in the mid 1980s. We were all nudists and got together at each other's homes about once a week. When we got together we were always nude. What started as flirting with them led to him seducing my wife while he was massaging my nude wife and I was massaging his nude wife. My wife and I had never discussed swinging before but were overjoyed it had happened. A number of years later they split up, but we are still friends with her.

 

We have continued to play with over the year. We are now in a poly relationship with him which is great. Next week we are going on a 3 day, 2 night road trip with him. We have never spent the night together so all of us are really excited about 3 days of sightseeing and 2 days of sex in the same hotel room.

[EastInWest 1,524]

We've been together about 10 years. Although I'm the younger partner, I was relatively experienced with casual sex and that was all new to her, so we were pretty experimental in our first couple of years as we figured out where the relationship was going. Now we've come back around to that, I had some particular fantasies and she was open to them but nervous about upsetting the status quo and throwing out some of her traditional values, but we did eventually connect with another couple where she had known the wife for many years that turned out to have similar interests and have seen them a few times. "Strangers" or the club scene is still a step we haven't taken.

 

I think most people here would confirm that communication and trust are the biggest keys, by far.

[GoldCoCouple 4,068]

Early in our relationship we were telling each other about our sexual experiences. Ms. Gold and her ex used to hot tub with friends and have some wine. One time it lead to lost bathing suits and more. Unfortunately that relationship was already on life support at that time and ended. Surprising enough, she did say that she enjoyed it and would be willing to swing again if I wanted to. Set up an SLS profile and here we are.

 

What advice do you have for newcomers into the swing world?

 

Sometimes I feel like a broken record (remember records?). Love trust and communication. You need all three in abundance. Set your rules and limits before had and stick with them. If you want to adapt or change your rules and limits, it should be done outside of a possible event, never at the heat of the moment. Never take one for the team. It either works for the two of you or not at all. If either of you says no, then the united answer for the two of you is no. Never move at a pace faster than the slowest of you is comfortable with.

 

That should keep you busy for a bit. Come back later for more...

[Guest]

The first threesome I ever had was with my girlfriend and a friend that we knew and honestly I can not advise enough that playing with friends / people you know / people who know your life / work mates and so on is a terrible idea that often backfires straight in your face with some horrific results.

 

My advice is to find someone who.....

 

Doesn't know you.

Doesn't know your family.

Doesn't know your other friends.

Doesn't know where you work.

Doesn't know your working patterns.

Doesn't know any other sensitive information about you.

 

Also if your meeting a man....

 

Be very careful about giving out a women's number or details.

 

If a man finds out too much about the women he will often spam her with messages / spam her with phone calls / turn up at her house whilst the husband is at work / turn up at her work.

 

It depends if your looking for a man or women.

 

If your looking for a man then join a on line swingers site (look for the free ones as well) and there are thousands of men there looking for sex and fun.

 

If your looking for a women then my advice is to meet one in real life, meet a new women, make a new friend and find out if they are single and then ask them to join you.

[Mrs.Rockin 18]

We started with someone I knew and trusted. I'm not arguing with Sun&Moon, as they have some sound advice that may work for you. But on the other hand, the things Sun&Moon posted to watch out for in a man (constant messages, phone calls, stalking type behavior) are exactly why we chose someone we know and trust. In our case, this person lives about an hour away from us so its not like we run into him around town or anything.

[SW_PA_Couple 4,026]

My wife, believe it or not, suggested it. She saw people on the Oprah show (singers) being interviewed and wondered if I would be willing to try. Was a year from that date that we first made a hook-up but ones it all got started, we have never looked back.

[Guest]

We started with someone I knew and trusted. I'm not arguing with Sun&Moon, as they have some sound advice that may work for you. But on the other hand, the things Sun&Moon posted to watch out for in a man (constant messages, phone calls, stalking type behavior) are exactly why we chose someone we know and trust. In our case, this person lives about an hour away from us so its not like we run into him around town or anything.

 

Don't get me wrong in some cases playing with a friend might work, but in my honest opinion / experience the risks are not worth the gain.

 

There are various problems with playing with a friend, and remember once you have played with said friend you can NEVER TAKE IT BACK!!

 

Here are a few of the risks of playing with a friend:

 

1. FAMILY: If this friend knows your family there is a chance they will spill out your secret lifestyle meaning all your family find out about your sexual exploits.

 

2. FRIENDS: If this friend knows your social group they may tell other friends about your sex life meaning your entire set of friends all find out.

 

3. WORK: If this friend knows where you work or the people you work with this information can find its way back to your job, you could even be sacked.

 

4. COMMUNITY: If this friend tells the wrong person the entire neighbourhood might find out.

 

You also have to ask.....

 

What happens if you play with this friend and find you don't match?

 

What happens if you fall out?

 

What happens when it ends?

 

 

The main problem is that people have a habit of "Sharing Secrets" how many times in your life have you thought "I will just tell this one person I trust" then a month later everyone knows.

 

I'm not saying don't do it with a friend, I'm saying make a new friend who doesn't know much about your life and do it with them.

[Fundamental Law 2,903]

She saw people on the Oprah show (swingers) being interviewed and wondered if I would be willing to try.

 

That must have been a better Oprah episode than Tom Cruise jumping on the couch...

[Lionheart72 2,191]

I always love this question, because I love this story.

 

How did we start? - My wife and I never had any pretension toward monogamy. Neither of us are particular cut out for it. We both see sex as a fun physical activity... sure, it can be a deep, spiritually meaningful experience but so can drinking tea. It's all in the attitude you bring to it. Despite this attitude, and a couple of near misses with an ex-girlfriend of mine, we were married a couple of years before we actually explored what non-monogamy meant to us.

 

It all started at a party. I was chatting with a nice young lady and chatting turned into a long, sensual backrub which stopped just short of being a live sex show in front of her boyfriend, my wife and basically half the people at the party. We talked a bit with said young lady and her boyfriend, who identified themselves as polyamorous. We ended out making out with them a few times, but never went "all the way" largely because of the young lady's tendency to get roaring drunk at parties. Eventually, we went our separate ways but the encounter got me searching the net to learn more about polyamory, which also lead to learning about swinging.

 

A lot of googling, a lot of good online FAQs and a lot of talking later and my wife I decided to check out a local swingers club. That went... poorly, largely because we hadn't talked enough about expectations, desires, rules, and limitations. Fortunately, in talking about why we things hadn't gone well, we figured that out and managed to talk through all those things. Our next trip to the club went better. The rest has been fun. Not always perfect, but overall fun.

 

My advice to newcomers... communicate, communicate, communicate.

 

A wise man, at that first club we visited, said something that has always stuck with me: If I can watch my wife suck another man's cock, I can talk to her about anything. Since we were watching his wife do just that at the time, I figured he knew what he was talking about. The key to successful swinging is being able to talk about anything... the fantasies you've never shared, the feelings you don't think you should feel, the silly stuff, the crazy stuff and especially the scary stuff. If you can share all of that with your partner and listen -really listen- to them share all of their innermost self with you, the rest follows.

[M1F2KTJ 473]

Long story, short version.

 

It started with friends.

 

We shared a motel room with another couple on a very nice vacation "at the shore". We shared a bedroom and we thought we could fuck without them knowing but they were fucking too. It was an unforgettable experience to look over at them fucking at the same time I was fucking her.

 

He was busy and wasn't looking and so was my wife. I caught her eye. We both looked at each other in the middle of us both fucking our partners. I wanted to fuck her like he was fucking her. It made me harder. I started to fuck my wife like he was fucking his wife.

 

I know from experience how hard it can be to find another man, even harder to find another couple, to have fun with.

 

My advice would be to party with as many people as you can. Get to know someone or another couple,

 

The best place to socialize is in a bar.

[lnw 145]

Long story...short version.

First exposure to swingers was a clothing optional trip to Desire. First time topless/nude in front of others. Met some swingers, found out they are better than most vanilla folks. But we did not do anything there other than she posed topless for another photographer.

 

Started posing for other photographers. Then started meeting other couples for fun photo shoots. Liked going to Desire and decided to try a swinger cruise. Wasn't until the 3rd cruise that we even set foot into the big playrooms. Slowly, we met up with other couples and continued to explore. Now on our 7th LS cruise coming up and continue to met couples and when the chemistry is right, we have fun doing soft swap and full swap on a couple of rare occasions. Now we book 3-4 LS vacations per year and look forward to each one of them!

[Guest]

We met a couple in Key West at the hotels topless beach, later started talking to them at the tiki bar. That evening and the next, we went out with them and a few of their friends hitting the bars and clubs. They contacted us a few weeks later with an offer to meet for some type of foursome, specifying that she was bi, he wasn’t. We had never thought of such, and turned them down. But, it caused a lot of discussion between the two of us and we kind of artificially decided that if we were ever going to swing, MFM would be our starting point. A month or so later, the guy half of the couple was in town on business, wanted to meet for drinks. We did and it led to our first MFM that night. I very much enjoyed it so two weeks later, a guy sitting next to us at a bar started getting a bit flirtatious, and I made it more so and moved it to seduction we had our 2nd MFM. After several happening just in the same matter, we tried a couples club with our first swap. And then so on.

[GoNatural 104]

In the mid 90's, in my mid teens, it was rumored that one of the popular kid's in school parents were swingers. I may have read the term in a Penthouse magazine before that. I'm not sure.

 

Then, by the age of about 21 I'd been in an adult store several times. On one of these visits I saw a small simple zine on a shelf called "Bayou Swingers". I was thrilled and thought it would likely have people in it from the bayou that I lived near. Well, I was wrong. The people were from Baumont, Tx on east to Pensacola, FL.

 

I told a couple buddies about that. They later told me their uncle found a website called Adultfriendfinder that had swingers from all over. Within a year I had bought my own laptop. A few months later at the age of 22 I met with a couple for the wife's pleasure. I hooked up with them about 5 times. They were swingers of 20 years, but the husband had muscular dystrophy by then. She was 39, then 40. I had sex with her on her birthday.

Adultfriendfinder worked well enough for me in the early 2000's.

[anja123 23]

A couple from work talked my husband into it, and he invited them over one evening. At some point, the other guy started getting frisky with me, and his wife actually encouraged him which was a strange experience to me. I ended up having a threesome with the two men while the other woman just watched, with a big smile. So, no talking, no preparation, it just happened, but I must confess that I enjoyed every moment of it anyway. We have been with several other couples since then, usually friends-of-friends, etc.