Invitation pulled!

[njbm 2,881]

We meet a couple on SLS. We have not met in person.

The other couple invites us to a pool party at their home with four other couples.

We accept the invitation and ask what we can bring.

Husband writes back, says he did not consult with his wife and she only wants people she has met before. We are uninvited. Thoughts?

[2NoLimit 95]

Sounds like a lack of communication/organization within that couple. We wouldn't want to meet them. Even outside the party.

[njbm 2,881]

Bingo. The situation is its own vetting process.

[SW_PA_Couple 4,024]

Just another example of SLS Silliness.

[njbm 2,881]

Yes, this is prime SLS behavior. Who would do such a thing in real life? Frankly, if we did not find anyone attractive at the party, we would feel no compulsion to play. We could swim, talk, go home. And certainly, no one there would have an obligation to play with us. Maybe we all would have made new friends or met friends that would lead to other friends.

[GoldCoCouple 4,066]

Sounds like they save you both some time by eliminating themselves from the list. Move on to the next couple and don't think about this at all.

[Fundamental Law 2,887]

Yes, this is prime SLS behavior.

It is surely common 'flake' behavior. It is also fair to say that SLS is relatively non-selective about who gets on. Still, it seems a bit unfair to tag the website with accountability for the juvenile behavior of a few. We would be frustrated not by the lack of opportunity to meet new people but rather by the time wasted in raising expectations.

 

In another thread, we bemoaned related 'flake' behavior. Another board member commented that they had progressively limited their email, chat, phone conversations until they could actually meet the 'other couple' in person such as for coffee or drinks or a light meal. This is not only good advice that we have taken to heart, it seems increasingly important.

 

Perhaps we are getting older or noticing it more, but in all phases of our lives people seem to renege on their commitments with increasing frequency. We view the world differently; our word is our bond.

 

Perhaps we expect too much.

[bryonboru 60]

Many times we run in to this type of behavior, we started swinging because of communication and open nature of the people in the Lifestyle. We find that many are judgemental, do not communicate well with their other half or potential playmates and tend to think they deserve better than what they have to offer.

 

We have multiple invites and blind KIK chats request, as soon as we exchange pictures (before any conversation)they state they are not interested and disappear. Way too many people consider the pictures to be the entire package, we are starting to think that clubs are going to be the best way to meet new couples moving forward.

[Fundamental Law 2,887]

Way too many people consider the pictures to be the entire package, we are starting to think that clubs are going to be the best way to meet new couples moving forward.

 

That's one of the reasons that we are going on another LS cruise this summer. Couples make an effort (and spend money) to be part of the experience; they are there by choice, and without pretense. The only downside is post-cruise geography and distance: the couples with whom we have fun and memorable times always seem to live some distance away.

[njbm 2,881]

We like to meet and play with other couples. We don't like the anonymity of clubs. We had one great cruise and one quiet cruise. We've had mixed results in house parties. I don't really like the loud disco format. It is not an easy hobby!

[SW_PA_Couple 4,024]

. . . It is not an easy hobby!

Or pastime, or lifestyle, if you please. But truer words have not been expressed at this forum. I must add that the rewards more than compensate for the trouble.

[GoldCoCouple 4,066]

It isn't an easy hobby but nobody said that it would be. No other hobby however has promised rewards as great and enjoyable either.