First trip to the club was accomplished it was a mixed experience

[MDcouple121211 18]

The Mrs and I attended our first club visit this past weekend. We were both really excited and nervous as most are. Regardless of how hard we tried we were not able to get there until much later than we had attended, which coincidentally was around the same time we typically go to sleep (we have an early schedule). Regrettably, we had been unsuccessful in taking a nap to recharge before heading out and the club was a good 45 minute drive which my tired cranial matter was thinking of on the trip up.

 

We finally arrived and went in not quite knowing what to expect. We were greeted with a tour guide. We had expected a host couple and got a tour guide. The gentleman was quite pleasant and friendly, showed us the club, then promptly dropped us and went back to his friends, not to check on us or make eye contact again. We got drinks and sat near the bar watching and smiling, taking everything in, and enjoying ourselves. Club music isn't our thing but is what one would expect going to a club. It was a very quiet night as far as the attendance level at the club and seemed to have a core group of regulars and a couple other outriders that may or may not have been new also.

 

One of the ringleaders of the core group, was actually turned out to be a neighbor. We weren't able to verify this until the following day through some internet sleuthing but confirmed it is them. I know the community has said "they're there too" but we have had run-ins with this person before in Vanilla World and because of another position this person holds, they have access to quite a bit of personal data on us. Past experience has told us that the neighbor is far from trustworthy. Additionally they seem to be "out" already so that bit would be removed.

 

Eventually after about an hour of failing to even make eye contact with any of the people passing the our table, we gave up and went on a tour of the club ourselves. Decided to duck into one of the rooms and "entertained" ourselves for a bit. Having enjoyed ourselves, we returned to the social bar area. At this point i was struggling with the inner conflict of the walk of shame, having just had sex and coming out of the room everyone would have seen. Then I realized that is what everyone is there to do and what's the big deal.

 

We sat there for a bit, finished our drinks then decided to get ready to head home before the extreme fatigue hit on the drive home through dark rural roads with heavy eyelids. As we were getting ready to leave, the partner of the neighbor asks me if we were leaving already and if we were coming back to the club again. She was friendly and didn't think much of it. We were leaving early (a bit after midnight by this point). I stopped and chatted with her a bit as my wife was making a bee-line for the door (this wasn't a sign of her displeasure, she thought I was behind her, happens all the time to us).

 

As part of the sleuthing I checked their SLS profile and come to find out they are host couples for the club. Our new member paperwork just happened to be on top. Considering our past experience I can't help but think the neighbor saw our names and refused to play host. Unfortunately they also attend the other club in the area and we don't have the time or money to travel at the moment.

 

This is not the first experience we were hoping for. The 5 minute tour then being dropping off and abandoned didn't set too well but I passed it off as he wanted to get back with his friends. In hindsight, after the tour guide dropped us off, he immediately went to the neighbor.

 

Had it not been for the neighbor we would go back without question. Right now...we're not sure but thinking it was a fun adventure albeit more tame than expected as it was a quiet night. We aren't inclined to return at the moment due to the pending drama we'd very much like to avoid...

[SW_PA_Couple 4,024]

. . . Had it not been for the neighbor we would go back without question. Right now...we're not sure but thinking it was a fun adventure albeit more tame than expected as it was a quiet night. We aren't inclined to return at the moment due to the pending drama we'd very much like to avoid...

This is the operative statement. Do you think that you would be interested in one or more of the swinger clubs in nearby Pennsylvania?

[MDcouple121211 18]

I thinker would, however we aren't currently in a position where we can overnight and with the hours of a club, the ones I am aware of are a bit too far to commute for us. The closest would be Philly which I believe would still be 1.5 hrs or so at least. York is about the same and Gettysburg is closer to 2 hours. I realize these aren't far still but with our schedules and other items, late night driving like that isn't a great idea.

 

I was hoping some helpful soul out there might have encountered a similar situation and had some suggestions on dealing with it other than our avoidance.

[tbone1 79]

Sorry that your first time to a club was not a better experience. You did not indicate which club you tried. We have been to a couple different clubs, but recently went to The Korral. If you have not been there, you may want to check it out. We have found the people there to be friendly. We did go to a Friday night party and there was a small crowd. We understand the Sat night crowds are bigger. They also have Sat and Sun afternoon pool parties. These are clothing optional, some nude and some swimming suits, totally private, heated pool, some food, lots of freedom to do what you want, play in or around the pool plus some playrooms open, nice folks to hang out with and catch some rays, no loud music. We totally enjoyed ourselves. Good luck.

[J&JSwinginPA 18]

TPA?

[GoldCoCouple 4,066]

We're more 'early bird' than late night partiers ourselves so when we are going to try to attend a club, we make it a weekend. This way, it's not a club in our backyard and the whole thing is more of an adventure that we are both doing together. We get a room for the night by where we are going and then worrying about the 'extreme fatigue' on the drive home through dark rural roads with heavy eyelids isn't a problem. If you can't trust who is hosting the party, no matter how enjoyable the party may be, it's going to be difficult to really have a good time (can't let your hair down if there's the chance that someone is going to tell the neighborhood). Find a different location and plan a weekend around the event.

[Scaredstiff 129]

Could you maybe do a bit more homework with the gift of hindsight and learning a bit from your experience maybe you know a bit more about what you're looking for?

So see if you can find some reviews and pick a busier night? That would solve the regular clique and the feeling of not being included.

As goldcouple said , we also always book a hotel to split the driving into more manageable sections, yeah it means we can only club once a month due to both time and financial constraints but that's life haha.

I'd always give it another go , first time we went it was very quiet being January, then we noticed they had a lot of reviews in April the previous year for the clubs birthday night, so we waited for that to come around again and the place was packed

[MDcouple121211 18]

Thank for all the replies.

 

Our concern was not with the club, or attendance level. We had no expectations going in, we had checked the website out, I feel like I've read close to every thread here (I haven't, but I've covered a good deal of them). I knew Fridays have a lower attendance which is fine. The Mrs was relieved it was slower and had agreed (originally) to try again on a busier night (a Saturday at some point in an undecided future). I also acknowledge that we weren't going out of our way to engage in conversation and also the regulars are more than entitled to hang out with their regular friends. As we were wondering around, there were people who were in conversations, that made eye contact and smiled, we were likely too absorbed in taking in our surroundings to engage in conversation although we did return the smile and nod of a greeting. We also didn't want to interject into the conversation as we hadn't been invited. (Plus it was at this point the Mrs seemed hell-bent on finding a room, and i certainly wasn't about to stop her!). We also didn't expect that we'd be the center of attention and that the scene would revolve around us. We honestly just wanted to see what was going on and hoped to be able chat with some people. We, in our timid effort to dip the tip of our toes in the kiddie pool of this environment, did not plan on playing with anyone.

 

Once we made our discovery, was when some things seemed to click together. I tend to read into things and I am trying very hard not to do so with this, but it would be par for the course in our experience of dealing with the individual in question.

 

As I'm writing this I seem to remember another area with another group that had split off. Everywhere has group dynamics and politics, no matter what environment and we admittedly don't know the club's memberships' breakdown. Our biggest and really only concern is the neighbor. We sat in the car right after leaving and said we'd like to go back. I wanted to catch the immediate reaction. It was also the first time in a very, very, very long time we had been able to get out just to have fun and we did.

 

Regarding the suggestions about other local clubs and overnighting, we would if we could. Honestly we would have done that first rather than keeping local. We don't want to but we are thinking that this endeavor may need to be shelved for the time being unless there is a drama-free way of dealing with this I haven't been able to think of yet. We have enough headache in our lives we really don't want anymore. Additionally we don't want issues at the club itself or the rest of the people, I'm sure they don't want anything either.

[MDcouple121211 18]

I guess I was hoping someone might have had this happen to them and they didn't tuck tail and slink away like we are. We tend to approach things like a cautious turtle, very slowly and as protected as possible until its safe enough. Or an affirmation that in past practice our tactic was the most common.

[ncmd_couple 597]

MDcouple121211,

 

I too am curious which club you went to. Granted, I escaped from Maryland in the spring of 2009 so my experience is dated, but...

 

The Cottage in Gettysburg is an awesome club and was my first experience. I don't know if the couple that owned it back then is even still alive, but they were transitioning management to their son, and I'm sure that it is still a great venue. You can also rent a room for the night which we did after the first visit and made a weekend of our visits.

 

The Farm is ok, but I didn't enjoy it as much.

 

Taboo in down town Baltimore was a much younger crowd than we were.

 

The dynamics of every club is different. At the Cottage, we had a dozen or so couples come by and check out "the new couple" and we made some friends that we really enjoyed. The Farm was different, and pretty much like your experience was, but we did eventually meet a couple that we still stay in contact with. Taboo.... well, the age dynamic put us out of the range of the twenty somethings that were predominate there. So if the dynamic at the club you were at isn't what you were looking for, check out a different club!

 

If I was still in the area I would offer to take ya' to the Cottage and show ya' around without obligation for anything else. Remember, your visit to a club is what you make it to be. Always go with the anticipation that the two of you will have fun together in a relaxed environment. And if ya' do meet some folks, it is a bonus!!

[MDcouple121211 18]

I was trying to avoid mentioning the club because I don't believe it was directly related to the club itself bit rather to the neighbor in question. I also didn't want this profile outed but as I had mentioned it in another post earlier, I guess the cat's out of the bag.

 

The club was TPA, and until the following day were willing to give it a shot and the Mrs requested a specific event if they had it again. With the dark club and the loud music we couldn't get a good view of the person in question or really hear the voice to recognize them until I started poking around the internet matching up profiles to who we saw that had said they were going that night.

 

Our schedules and life prevent us from going more than a few times a year and realistically I don't see us being able to go to another club at this time which is what is behind the drive for a solution besides walking away from it all. The other solution is to tey to avoid them and do our own thing, ignoring the issue which seems, we'll dangerous to me.

 

I realize it sounds like I'm looking for someone to make up my mind for me and that isn't the case. I understand this is a new profile and no one particularly knows me nor do they know the issues between the people involved. I figure there had to be an occasion where this has occurred to some unlucky soul before. The Mrs' greatest fear was running into someone we knew and of course it had to be someone we seem unable to get along with and can't trust and on the very first night.

 

I had read the same about Tabu being a younger crowd as well which was another deciding factor on TPA. I had looked into the Cottage but we can't overnight at the moment for money reasons and it's too far to drive. I mentioned earlier about our schedule but on top of that, I have severe sleep issues that make it dangerous to drive tired (more than most people anyway) and night time driving is not easy for the Mrs. I realize now that in the first post it sounded like I had been drinking, but I only had soda, my wife had wine.

[ncmd_couple 597]

I never had a chance to visit TPA, and as I lived in Carrol County, the others were closer. I understand the money issues for sure and we all have our challenges to deal with, so no worries. As far as the jerk is concerned, they were there also, so they can't really out you without getting busted themselves. And if you do find yourself in the situation where you have to interact with them, just be polite like you would be at the grocery store and move on.