Racial Diversity in the Lifestyle

[JustAskJulie 2,595]

I'm curious as to what people's thoughts are on mixing races within the lifestyle. So I post a poll.....

 

(you can select as many of the above responses as apply to you).

 

Feel free to post your thoughts on racial diversity within swinging as well as any experiences you have had in this regard.

[jcbicouple 24]

We like all colors. We have actually turned down playing with people because they were prejudiced and it was obvious. We don't deal well with people who think that someone is less of a person due to race. There are particular "cultures" that we don't agree with, and therefore wouldn't play with someone within those, but we consider that very different from race. It's more about sharing common interests and beliefs, than what race they are.

[NotsoNew 17]

We look for the personality first. No limits on race here.

[thump29 16]

We like all races. Personality is the most important thing for us too. Race has never bothered us as long as we all get along.

[BiloxiCouple 695]

We are not racially limited. We look at personality first. We are an Equal Opportunity Lifestyle Fuck.

 

Variety is the spice of life. If all you like is salt, then you are missing the rest of the spices.

 

Thanks to Julie for bringing this up!!!! And get down to Biloxi girl!!!!!

[Guest Willbfun]

We look at the personality and the way we get along. Race doesn't matter to us.

[Guest Willbfun]

Julie, I would like to add something which was of little concern to us at the time, but found it a little distrubing. Our first MFM was also my wife's first interracial experience. Which everything went fine. But later the talk had got around amoung our friends. Actually most of the couples in our group enjoyed the company of this single black gentleman. And he was often the topic of many conversations, because of his reputation with the women. So I took a little razzing from the guys, and my wife had to go off with the ladies, and tell them how things went. All in fun. But later that evening while setting at a table, with another couple. The man made a conment about how he didn't want his wife with any black guy. We never let it bother us. But since of the 20 or so couples that hang around together, and all were open about their interracial meetings. we found it strange for him to make that comment. After my wife's first time.

 

We feel if people don't like interracial that is their business, but we felt his comment was out of place at the time. Especially when he's in a group who don't care about race.

[JustAskJulie 2,595]

I have had people (other swingers and non) take issue with me when they have found out that I have been with black guys. Early on we had at least one couple that we played with then never played with again because they showed their prejudice side.

 

It's all about what you like or don't like. If you dont' have any desire to be with someone of another race or whatever that's your preference (so it doesn't turn you on big deal).... but to say that others are wrong for doing so is another story.

 

Or to take issue when you visit a club because there are other races there. They are there for the same reason that you are and just like any other couple if you aren't interested in them then you dont' have to play with them, but they still have just as much right to be there as you do.

[yawanna 17]

I have always been astounded at the 'whiteness' of the swinging community, particularly the clubs and house parties (our version of your on premise clubs).

 

White, middle and lower classes. One club purported to be upper echelon like doctors and lawyers, but it was just more white middle class folks.

 

'round here..the majority of blacks are in the single men, there are a few interracial couples of black and white and a few white and asian, and a few same race east indian.

 

I often wonder.. why?

[RnLinohio 17]

i know that the club we attend has all nationalities, but we have no preference to race. I have had several men think that because i turned them down it was because of there color. And have not wanted to even talk to me because of that. But it wasn't that i wasn't into different races, it was because i wasn't into men. My husband is mixed, and we have had several incounters with black women, asain women......... as long as they have a good personality and we are both attracted to her........ then lets go for it.

 

 

On the other hand i have met several white couples in the lifestyle that won't go with other races. but they are by no means rude about it........ they have said that they just don't find other races attractive. I don't know weither they are predudice or not, but i feel everyone has there choices. As long as the dont judge me, and look down on me because i do go with other races, then it is all good........... but as soon as someone that is rude to someone of another race..... or as i like to say. shows their ass......... i want nothing to do with them.

 

just my .02

 

Robin

[Amy and Mike 16]

An attractive guy is an attractive guy, and I've met men of many different races that I find attractive. I also had a black boyfriend once. But I'm from Los Angels where things tend to be more integrated and people more open-minded. I'm pretty sure hubby feels the same way about women.

[Dani&Drew 15]

Not only am I willing, I'd love to enjoy some interracial I always thought it was a shame not to see a more diverse range of swingers, even in heavily racially mixed areas like West Michigan cities.

[colleen4 15]

We really enjoy interracial experiences. Primarily we have been with blacks. Colleen loves a strong black man with a big cock, she says their cum tastes better than white guys. I enjoy watch her fuck a black man. the sight of a hard black shaft pounding my sweet colleen's white pussy turns me on so much.

[Greg & Sheryl 368]

Although interracial couples are occasionally spotted in the Colorado swing scene, black couples are quite rare. As much as we would like to see more diversity among Colorado swingers, we realize that this is caused by de facto segregation that we can do little about. While there are a number of black males around who are married to either white or Latin women (we even know of one black male/Asian female couple), it seems like black women are virtually non-existent in the Lifestyle.

 

Greg has a theory about this based on his dating experience prior to meeting Sheryl. Generally, black women do seem to be easier to get into bed, although this may be in part because Greg is also black. But white women, once you get them into bed, seem to be much more willing to experiment. These experiments may include such things as anal sex, role-playing, erotic photography, BDSM, and swinging.

 

Conversely, it seems like many black women don’t even want to perform oral sex. Greg attended a historically black college in the 1980’s and couldn’t even buy a blowjob from many of the coeds there! Results from a study at the University of Arkansas seem to confirm this aversion:

 

Frequency of Oral-genital Stimulation:

1. 75% of white women report performing oral sex; 78% of white women report receiving oral sex.

2. 34% of black women report performing oral sex; 49% of black women report receiving oral sex.

 

At our most recent visit to a local on-premise swing club, there was only one black female in attendance. She is married to a white gentleman and they are regulars at this club. Including us, there were three black men at the club who were all with white women. The remaining 35 couples (our estimate) were all white, although a few appeared to be Hispanic. There were no Asians present. We don’t make race-based decisions on who we play with, but it would be nice to see a greater variety of people. After all, isn’t variety a big reason why many of us swing?

[teknurse 18]

Hmm. I've mentioned to my wife that I'm interested in black women. She has expressed to me that she has been with black men. At the club we go to fairly often, it is usually 80% white, but I've never actually seen any kind of segregation or prejudice at the club. My wife is always quick to point out that she isn't white either, being 1/2 American Indian and 1/2 Pure Blood Sicilian! Some friends of ours regularly host house parties, and there are a few black couples that attend, and it just never seemed to be an issue. It's funny, I always thought of swingers as being more 'tolerant' as a whole, not just about sex, but I may have been wearing my racial blinders....

 

Allen

[Oreocookie 15]

We are an interracial White male/ Black female married couple that attends a swingers club here in Atlanta. The Whites do out number any other racial group & most of the time when we see another interracial couple it is always Black male/White female.

 

We are new to this lifestyle. Although I am shy, my husband is the epitome of extrovert, but both of us are very friendly. There have been a few times when people have been rude. One night, the male of the White couple was looking at both of us & called over his wife to speak, she told him "You cannot play with her". Also ther have been times when the the White husband has gotten slapped for looking at me. Also, my husband was talking to a White couple, & as I was coming from the restroom he introduced me & the wife told her husband "No chocolate tonight".

 

We have met some very nice White & Black couples there. Until everyone, no matter what race you are, learn to be more respectful if there is no intrest & not show such "nastiness", the swingers clubs will never become a melting pot.

[Guest Kiss_n_Puss]

The Toronto club that we sometimes frequent is predominantly white though there are a few interacial couples usually an Asian / caucasion combo. If there is a black couple they are usually way below our age range. As one of the most racially diversified cities in North America there must be swinging black couples of our generation around somewhere.

 

Long b4 I met Puss I was involved with a very sexy black lady who, had we not been married to others at the time, would have been very willing to join the lifestyle. Of course that would have just made us another black / white couple.

 

It is not the race of someone who makes us go ewwww...it is always something else about their manner. I find it hard to understand why anyone can justify "no sex" based on race alone. What millenium is this and who raised those bigots to have those beliefs? Those white trash should crawl back under their rocks and never get their rocks off.

 

My $0.02 Cdn

 

Kiss

[Saint John 15]

Yup. The fact that you are in Canada changes this conversation a lot.

 

I frequent Vancouver a lot and it really makes one sad to return to Yankland. Race relations are EASILY 20 years behind most of Canada. It's easily one of those things where you grow up thinking the USA is better than everyone and everything...until you travel a bit. I've also found parts of Europe to be the same.

 

Being in the South doesn't help. I'll be honest. I haven't seen a ton of overt discrimination like you describe, however definitely more than what I have seen in the Northern parts.

 

Not a slam to Southerners. Just stating the status quo.

 

 

"I have had people (other swingers and non) take issue with me when they have found out that I have been with black guys.

 

Quite common. Again, another failing of our society.

[hmr 25]

Just something I heard many years ago.

 

Think of all the people you know.

 

Now, think of all the people you would call acquiantances.

 

Think of all the ones you would call friends.

 

Think of the few you could count on when you really need it, no matter the situation.

Not very many left are there?

 

Concidering there are so few, why would anyone eliminate people just because of something as unimportant as their skin color?

 

Think about it.

 

Mr hmr

 

BTW, I'm sure you can guess the way we voted.

[Chicup 41]

Now this won't be well thought of I'm sure, but when it comes to sex, we makes decisions where race plays an influence, hence we are racists.

 

I am not attracted to black women, of course there are some who are an exception, but the 'average' black woman does not turn me on at all. Maybe Mr. Happy is a closet klan member, but when it comes to sex I listen to the little guy. If he isn't up for it either am I.

 

My wife isn't attracted to black men or Asian men. I've never asked her for specific reasons, but I think its the 'average' black male features and the smaller stature of most Asian men which she isn't attracted to.

 

Now does this make us evil racists? I don't think so its just basic attraction.

[mifligirl25 15]

we are a racially mixed couple also, and have never based a decision on race alone. color is only skin deep and great human beings go much deeper.

[Island guy 16]

Originally posted by Oreocookie

We are an interracial White male/ Black female married couple that attends a swingers club here in Atlanta. The Whites do out number any other racial group & most of the time when we see another interracial couple it is always Black male/White female.

 

We are new to this lifestyle. Although I am shy, my husband is the epitome of extrovert, but both of us are very friendly. There have been a few times when people have been rude. One night, the male of the White couple was looking at both of us & called over his wife to speak, she told him "You cannot play with her". Also ther have been times when the the White husband has gotten slapped for looking at me. Also, my husband was talking to a White couple, & as I was coming from the restroom he introduced me & the wife told her husband "No chocolate tonight".

 

We have met some very nice White & Black couples there. Until everyone, no matter what race you are, learn to be more respectful if there is no intrest & not show such "nastiness", the swingers clubs will never become a melting pot.

 

My wife and I are also an interracial couple (I'm white, she's black) and we are also fairly inexperienced in the lifestyle, and there are no clubs here. I am shocked that in today's day and age someone would discriminate in such a rude way as you described, Oreocookie. Greg & Sheryl also pointed out that variety is one of the things we seek.

 

I our experienced we have been with only white couples or single white females. But, we love all races and we're open to it.

[EternallySingle 32]

While I've had several encounters with black women while swinging, I've never been in a relationship with a black woman who was interested in swinging. Three were white and one was hispanic/asian. Never really gave it much thought because I think of people in terms of personality, interests, and culture, not skin color.

[BradAndJanet 70]

Race doesn't really make a whole lot of difference to us. If we're attracted to people, then we're attracted to people, plain and simple.

[Sweetdevil 17]

As a Black couple we have met couples whom has accepted and rejected us because of our race. Of the couples that rejected us, they let us know we were not welcome; and of the couples who accepted us, they made us feel welcome. This is a subject which was discussed with the a couple who brought us into swinging so we ready when it happen.

 

I can remember a group outing to bar and the husband of one couple constantly made negitive comments interracial swinging. The other's were looking to me to make a strong statement, but I did not want get into a fight, so I sat silently. Until he made a comment about my wife and not being attractive. Then I told him to stop or we, him and I, would be outside and I find out how much of a man he really is. He gave a look like okay. Then I said, remembering these words clearly, "...get you bitch-ass up and see what you are made of!" Seeing that I was serious he backed off. The mood of the group changed and I could tell my wife may not want to try swinging.

 

But later without this couple at the table, I was asked "... what took me so long?" I said, "I didn't want to spoil the party". Their reply was he was the one spoiling the party and the rest of the group did not feel the wasy he did. This brought a smile to my wife face. As for me I was trying to come down from being angry. Well the other ladies took care of that by flirting with me while sitting my lap. My wife was just flirting with the men. The night got sexier but we did not swing that night.

 

In the van riding to our cars some of the men had my wife more relaxed by kissing and playing with her in the back. I was glad to see she was enjoying herself. Later, as I was driving home, my wife said she knew what I was thinking and had hope I would start a fight. She knows me so well!

 

The following day we got a call from the "sponsor" couple to see how we were doing, that "other's" were concern and how they like us. This is really reassurring. We had decided not to let this one person stop us from swinging and we told them so. We found many couples that accepted us for us and likewise accepting them for themselves.

 

We have had many more positive experinces than negative experinces. But there are always a few who has to let it be known that they do not find black couples attractive. Our standard response is, "we don't find you attractive either!" Which usually caught them off-guard. Whether these couples are racist it depends on the reason(s) why don't particpant in interracial swinging. We do not take time to find out.

 

In most cases you never miss what you never had. And one of the most important aspect of swinging for us has been getting to know couples and establishing a friendship or closeness with similar couples.

 

A post note to this story. Sometime later the husband of that couple said that he really did find my attractive but he had painted himself into a corner, because his wife wanted to have sex with a black man and that upset him and he did not know to handle it.

 

Talk about underlining psychological issues.

[NewTemptations 54]

I dont consider myself to be racially predjudiced in any aspect of my life...... however......

 

I do have certain likes/dislikes when it comes to choosing swinging playmates

 

for example:

 

I tend to be attracted to very tall men. This tends to rule out most aisian guys. I have met some very nice asian guys, but the sexual attraction was just not there for me....

 

There tends to always be more than a few hispanic guys at the club that we go to. Once again, I dont feel that that I am predjudiced against them, but personality wise I tend to find most guys of hispanic decent to be way too "aggressive" for my tastes. What can i say? Personality is way more than half the attraction for me, and the over the top aggressive guy no matter what race he may be tends to be an instant turn off to me.

 

Laura

[lauriern 16]

Hmm, see I am the mainstream here on the poll. I have been to a few clubs that have "interracial" nights but that means a few black males show up. Have come across few black couples that are in the lifestyle, more black male/white female couples. I could go into the NASCAR thing but suffice to say, swinging lags behind mainstream America in accepting diversity. This is one of the dirty hidden secrets of the lifestyle, just like the no bimales allowed thing.

[Bu&Sandra 15]

Well I guess we are an interacial couple as I am Italian American and Bu is Asian Indian. We have never really thought of ourselves as interacial until a survey like this comes up. We go to Clubs and usually he is the only Indian in the crowd and we have been rejected by many a couple due to his Indianess. People have just as many stereotypes about INdians as they do about black, hispanics etc. Indians are smelly, indians are terrorists , yadda. While in truth people forget that INdians invented the Kama Sutra . My husband is an intelligent sensitive man who also happens to be an incredible lover, but due to his race maybe women just pass on him.

Most of the clubs we have gone to are about 90% percent white, 10% other . Mostly upper middle class professionals, but predjudice knows no boundries. We however will swing with anyone who we are attracted to. For me I wish there were more Indian men in swinging as they are my cup of tea.

[akamgaxoxo 25]

I'd venture to say that both my hubby and I are pretty open to most races...our theory is whatever gets your engine going, then go with that. Though I don't have the interest in choosing any particular interracial mix to with play with, as I see sometimes on SLS, I do love latin men. This has always been a little fetish for me facelick ...and well my hubby I think he would be open either way.

[munk33kitt3r 15]

We also look at a person/persons personality then the color of there skin.... We get along with everyone... It would be a waste not to get to know all.

 

*KITTER*

[robnbarb 40]

Funny me and the wife were discussing about how she was approached by a black man when she was single (long before meeting me).

 

She refused not because he was black, but because he kept making a big deal about he was black. the kind of "I'm black so I am a big man down there" kind of attitude that she finds to be a major turn off. Basically she felt he was being a jerk and disrespecting her cause she was white. I am not sure how common of an occurrence that is, but I have heard it from White female friends before as well, not all, but some.

 

SO with that I would say that race would only become an issue if someone else made it one.

[sxyblkcouple 15]

We like all people as long as they are attractive. We have noticed that the clubs that we frequent are not very diverse though so limits our chance at diversity.

[Daddy'sGirl 15]

Do you find that people of color tend to be more sexually inhibited and secretive of thier freakiness?

[Hoot 15]

I too am a married female w/a man of color as a lover. And, may i say, i do believe that they can be, but, not always. Could it be their culture? I do not know. I have not explored this. If you have any advice on this subject, i am very open minded, & would love to hear it.

 

Hoot

[MissKat 15]

Here in Australia swinging is very much a 'white' scene with the only real diversity coming from European singles and couples. We don't really have the racial mix of other countries so that isn't overly surprising. I would say though, that anyone outside of the norm would have a definite exotic cache and probably find themselves extremely popular.

[Additude 457]

We are a white male and asian female couple and the only real "Notta" is that she says she is not interested in swinging with an asian male....

[2GirlsGoodBenBa 16]

Do you find that people of color tend to be more sexually inhibited and secretive of their freakiness?

 

This is a huge stereotype that I'm (Bad Girl) slightly annoyed with being associated with black people. We've been approached by several people with them hinting at wanting to sleep with a black woman because they think that we are oversexed and would give them the ride of their lives. That's quite insulting! And, we reject someone if they approach us in such a manner. We are actually a little reluctant to venture too much out into different groups and clubs because of race and our relationship. We tend to stay within our local Metropolitan area because we feel with the diversity here we shouldn't run into too many issues concerning our relationship and especially our race. We attended a private party where we felt that our race/same sex relationship shunned us from the general group of people and I'm sure the fact that we were the youngest pair there didn't make the situation any better. It always seemed when we were trying to involve ourselves with everyone they were ready to file out to another area of the house. So, we're always looking for some good people who can overlook these superficial things But, at the one club we went to in Washington, DC we found that the crowd was very racially diverse and had a great time and want to check out the scene in NYC because we heard the crowds there were great too.

[Amorcouple 15]

Hi we are new here but decided to answer this question.

If we seem crude we are sorry, but since the question is asked we will answer.

 

She does not want any black guys. She gets hit on all the time and they act like they are the biggest pimps/players, and when she says she is not interested they do not respect her. She is sad that she has to catogorize all black men into this field, but since she feels that it is rare to find one that does not think that they are the macks, she says she will just stay away from them, and not waste time. Now for Indian guys she is picky (Yes she is Indian herself) any other ethnicity she is fine with. It all starts with what is in between the ears, then class/personality, then body.

 

He is really not looking for any white or black girls, let me rephrase this North American white or black girls. (Sorry no disrespect to any readers) He prefers exotic females or white/black females from other countries. He loves Latina and Asian women (he is Latino himself).

 

This is talking all about sexuall experience, but we are not racist. We hang out and party with all races, but when it comes to stimulating the main sex organ (the brain) this is our preference.

 

And once again there is no disrespect involved in this answer.

 

Thank you for your time

[KajiKurai 15]

We're an inter-racial couple. She's Caucasian and I'm African-American/Puerto Rican/with a touch of something else (likely French or Brit). We don't make race part of our decision at all. It's just never a thought. Never has been for either of us. It's someone's personality that will get our attention and be the final factor in our decisions. Works for us, so we're happy.

[playtime4two 15]

it really comes down to a matter of choice. why label us as racists when we make a choice as to what turns us on? if we are obligated to accept all into our sexual pleasure, suddenly the "no means no" rule carries no weight at all. choice is one of the pillars of swinging. lets try to keep it from crumbling down.

[Amanda69 24]

Toronto is a very racially diverse area and many of the clubs show this in their membership.

 

For us it depends on attraction, so race really doesn't come into it...it is who they are mentally and physically that adds up to the whole package.

 

Just ask the guy who danced in the men's only last weekend at our club who(on a dare) I went up to and nibbled on his chest and helped him take down his pants...wow was he hot.....

 

Thank goodness "variety is the spice of life." There is always something for all of us...

[FlaPlaya561 48]

It's the personality that counts for me! Inside we all the same!

[hiswhooore 15]

How can we not...he's White and Im Black/Hispanic!!

[Rockme 15]

What I am going to say is 100% my opinion. I say this as a white male. I have noticed reading through this topic that a number of people have different opinions. I have also notice a few, not all, but some make a lot of general statements. One person speaking of “black men having sweater tasting cum” or those who talk about how much larger black men’s penis are. In this and a few other boards I find this to be what people see as the truth. Granted, I have seen a lot of black men with a HUGE penis. I have also seen some that have not. I go on my own experiences and nothing else. I have sucked off a black cock before. In fact, I have even had a few of them. My experience with this has been mixed. I have found the black males I have played with to be more on an ego trip than anything else. I had one say to me “damn, if my ancestors could see me now! Having some white boy sucking on big black cock! Its pay back time white boy!!” I have also been with white men as well. I have even, I know this will be hard for some to take, found a few white guys with bigger cocks. I know that is hard to take for some. I have also had some bad experiences with some of the white guys. But I have also had some that have been great. They were not on some ego trip. They just wanted to get off and that was it. Maybe it goes back to “forbidden fruit” thing. Maybe it is about getting what someone once could not have. But if your motive is “big cocks” or “being on the winning team” you may go this direction. I don’t choose whom I am going to be with based on “sports stars or rappers or popular culture.” Also, that sweat cum thing is total B.S.!!!!! That more has to do with a man’s diet and body chemistry. Can we please keep the hype down to a minimum?!

[Mr.T 16]

GOOD FRIKIN" LORD!!!!

 

 

 

Racial prejudice has been the basis of some of the biggest stains on human society.What is racism?Hatred or dislike of a person or people based on a physical characteristic(ie:skin color).Hasn't humanity evolved beyond it YET?!

 

When will people learn that whether black,white,Hispanic,Chinese,Mongolian or whatever,we all have one thing in common.WE ARE HUMAN!!!!

 

Pardon me while I go have a coffee and a smoke.This burned my ass a bit

[Chicup 41]

GOOD FRIKIN" LORD!!!!

 

 

 

Racial prejudice has been the basis of some of the biggest stains on human society.What is racism?Hatred or dislike of a person or people based on a physical characteristic(ie:skin color).Hasn't humanity evolved beyond it YET?!

 

When will people learn that whether black,white,Hispanic,Chinese,Mongolian or whatever,we all have one thing in common.WE ARE HUMAN!!!!

 

Pardon me while I go have a coffee and a smoke.This burned my ass a bit

 

We have such prejudices precisely because we are human.

 

When it comes to sex I have physical characteristics I find more desireable and some of those fall on racial lines. There is nothing I find wrong with that so I'm not sure what you are flaming unless its shaking your fist at an unjust world. Swinging is a bit different than who gets to ride the bus.

[Mr.T 16]

We have such prejudices precisely because we are human.

 

When it comes to sex I have physical characteristics I find more desireable and some of those fall on racial lines. There is nothing I find wrong with that so I'm not sure what you are flaming unless its shaking your fist at an unjust world. Swinging is a bit different than who gets to ride the bus.

 

Sorry for losing my mind earlier.It's simply that in all my years of driving truck from coast to coast,I've heard so many negative opinnions regarding race that it makes my blood boil whenever I hear it.

 

I didn't want to imply that no-one has the right of preference.Far from it.I simply cannot fathom how anyone can make such a choice based on race.Personal experience I could understand,but not by race.

 

Hypothetically speaking.How can someone tell that the hispanic woman they just turned down for that reason isn't absolutely incredible in bed?You could miss out on something great.Or maybe I have a unique viewpoint.

 

Again.Sorry for losing my cool. :surrender

[nice_cpl_n_bama 24]

Interracial isn't a turn on for us but it isn't a turn off either. It's just how somebody looks and is mostly irrelevant. Now the people who think they have to act, talk, and present themselves in a certian way or they're not being "black enough" usually annoy me.

Just relax, be confident, and things will most likely work out fine.

[Tia Vampire 167]

i like a variety of flavors in my mix. any questions i have, i usually get them answered when swinging with a different race. me, myself, and i think that dick is dick and my fiance says, pussy is pussy no matter what color it is.

[rebelnangel 15]

we do not think race should be a factor at all.it is what someone is on the inside that matters.we stopped being around certain people because they are prejudice.....no offense to anyone,but anyone that's prejudice is just helping make things bad in our world.....