Wife found her fantasy, I can't find mine

[BoulderWesty 15]

My wife found a dude that has a very large cock, and he's very into her large labia. She's always felt she's not tight enough, and this guy is so big he can't fit into most girls, so it's kind of a fantasy for both of them. My wife has requested an open relationship for years, and now I'm warming to it, but am feeling lonely and alone as I can't really find an equivalent fantasy of my own.

 

I'm a bit jealous of her situation as it really turns me on to think of a girl wanting my body specifically, but seeing as I'm pretty average body-wise, I don't see how that'll ever happen. I also have a big labia fetish, but my wife satisfies that, so just finding another girl with big labia isn't exactly something novel. Just plain having sex with someone other than my wife doesn't really excite me as I am madly in love with my wife, she's amazing in bed, and anything I desire she helps me fulfill.

 

I don't mind her having her fantasy, it actually turns me on, but I'm finding myself jealous that she's getting everything she desires and I can't find anything that excites me. Am I just being whiny? Should I just go fuck someone? Please help...

[SW_PA_Couple 4,024]

I might ask. What strategies have you and your wife used for finding playmates? There are good ones and there are better ones.

[BoulderWesty 15]

I might ask. What strategies have you and your wife used for finding playmates? There are good ones and there are better ones.

 

My wife found her man on Craigslist. Unfortunately it was behind my back 2 years ago, and she just told me about him along with some cheating she had done in a big tell-all about 2 months ago. I've been looking on things like SeekingArrangement, Tinder, etc, but I just don't seem to get excited about sex for sex sake.

 

I told my wife that the only person I really ever fantasize about is her best friend from high school, and she told her about it, and she's said she's cool with it. I'm apparently complicated, and I like there to be some emotion along with my sex, and am just not sure I feel totally comfortable in completely casual sex. Am I strange?

[megabyte 18]

My wife found her man on Craigslist. Unfortunately it was behind my back 2 years ago, and she just told me about him along with some cheating she had done in a big tell-all about 2 months ago.

 

To me, this is a pretty huge red flag and should be addressed before you continue with the lifestyle. Honestly, 2 months wouldn't be enough time for most people to repair the damage of an affair. I'm not saying you can't do in that amount of time, but I could feel from your post that you and your wife clearly aren't on the same page. If it was me, I'd pump the breaks and work on the both of you before jumping into swinging. I think you'll find from a lot of the other users that success in the lifestyle REQUIRES a strong foundation.

[GoldCoCouple 4,066]

Cheating is not swinging. I agree with megabyte, you both need to slow down and work on your relationship before continuing (especially her). Swinging is not for everyone and it may not be for you, but cheating usually doesn't work for anyone (other than those doing the cheating).

[BoulderWesty 15]

Somehow, I'm not as hung up on the cheating anymore as I am about her desire to fuck someone other than me. Destroys my confidence when I think she desires a superior lover. The guy she found (but has never slept with) she had been sexting with and such at the same time that she was cheating on me. Naturally I would say that to start out opening our marriage, it would make sense on paper to eliminate this guy from the running purely because of the painful association he represents to the time of our relationship when my wife was unfaithful. Problem is, it seems he's damn near perfect for her, and is very adamantly opposed to anything serious. This makes me feel a bit better as he's unlikely to attempt to woo my wife away from me, but it still messes with me that he's associated with the infidelity of my wife.

 

She has said many times that the desire is there, but that she will never act on it if I'm not comfortable, promising me that she'll work with me on whatever I'm comfortable with. To me it seems like the bridge is out ahead, and we need to deal with it, so I keep pushing ahead to try to get comfortable with it and rip the band aid off.

 

How do you all typically deal with a spouse desiring/fucking someone that has a superior body without feeling inadequate and completely losing confidence?

[2NoLimit 95]

How do you all typically deal with a spouse desiring/fucking someone that has a superior body without feeling inadequate and completely losing confidence?

 

Trust/Love! To us we can be with the top models, etc, doesn't matter. We know that no one can make us feel better then each other, and there's only "US" in our hearts.

[machiavel55 81]

............

 

How do you all typically deal with a spouse desiring/fucking someone that has a superior body without feeling inadequate and completely losing confidence?

 

If it happened to me, since I'm really not interested in hotwifing or cuckolding, I would wish her the best and separate.

I've never accepted being number 2 sexually with any of the women in my life but I also understand that we all change sexually through our lives and that when/if a partner see their sexual needs change to something very different than what I bring to the table, it has nothing to do with but it is best to separate. Other men have different attitudes and accept compromises. I do not.

[luvin eye full 140]

Mate just be her cuckold that;s what this story is about right.

 

But on the off chance it's not and this is what really happened then you are screwed my friend.

 

Because she has no feelings for you at any real level - her agreeing to help you is only her way of getting away with fucking you over.

 

dump her and get someone that loves you for you - and if you don't find swinging that interesting so what - there are girls that don't also and would give their left ovary to go out with a man that loves them for them.

 

If this is real then sorry man.