Feel left out but not sure if it's just me.

[Lostinmyownhead 15]

Hi,

Mr. here. We have been swinging right at 1 year now. We have only been with 3 couples in that period.

The first couple was great, we all hit it off with each other. We stayed locked in a cabin for an entire weekend. Although I had some male nervousness issues, we all enjoyed ourselves. We were planning our next meeting a few months later when that couple broke up. They were not married.

Flash forward 2 months later. We found another couple with an awesome profile. My wife was intrigued with his looks and his part of the profile and the female half was not bad to look at either as well as a good write up. We ate lunch then we took my boat out for the afternoon. The girls played on the front deck, us men just watched. It was great. Both women made each orgasm. Perfect day. Then we planned a meet the following weekend in a 1 room motel. It went horribly wrong. She was only into me, she was very vocal and good at oral. She had me moaning loudly. In no time and I was able to make her orgasm (loudly) very quickly. Meanwhile my wife, who had actually started playing with him before I had started with the other wife was on a sofa bed, 5ft away behind a curtain. It Dawn's on me now that I never heard her moan in pleasure as she usually does. There was a light on that was shining directly on the sofa and it was cold on that side of the room.

I got up to use the restroom, walked by here and tried to give her a quick kiss but she turned away from me. ( Not in a good way ) I called her into the bathroom with me and asked what was wrong. She said, she was very uncomfortable, not having a good time and hated to hear us having a great time on the other side of the curtain. Red flags flew, so we put our clothes on and left right then and there. Never talked to them again.

Flash forward again a few months.

We met a local couple for dinner a couple times. Really got to know them before we ever played. They are amazing people. So real and so much like us.

We really liked them and discussed us swinging with them. My wife expressed concern because she can fall hard for a guy she really likes and can very emotionally attached very quickly. I told her that I would make sure it doesn't happen but if starts to we can end it at any time.

My wife and I decided to give it one more shot with these folks but changed a few rules.

I work out of town a lot, sometimes 2 weeks at a time, and she is home every day/night. We decided because they were friends and close that we could separately hang out with them or even play separately if and only if we informed the other of us first before meeting with them.

One night in group text my wife explained that she was horny, so he invited her to meet him. I was out of town for work.

As expected she texted me and asked if it was ok to go meet him. I like the guy and trust him. So I said yes.

They met, she was nervous but they had a great time. He had some erection issues but was still able to finish and was able to make her cum 3 times and have an orgasm. My hat is off to him. Lol.

When she got home she explained to me the details, right down to the fact she loved him filling her with cum and loved the feeling of it oozing out. I congratulated her on having a great time.

We decided it was ok to text each other privately between us 4. But immediately I noticed I was getting no action from the female of the other couple. Days without responding to my texts, meanwhile my wife and the husband has really hit it off. They have clicked big time. They are both reserved, quiet and very observant. They are so much alike it's almost scary.

So, I was already hesitant of their new relationship but was ok with some emotional and intimate behavior.

My relationship with the wife however has not been that great. She will not flirt with me in texts, takes days to respond to my texts sometimes and almost never initiates a conversation. We have all been together as a foursome to play a total of 4 times. She has played separately with him 2 times now, me with her once. I have had some erection issues several times and when I get up to go gather myself, I come back in to find all 3 of them together. He has had some erection issues also, but when if he leaves to go gather himself, I don't get the same courtesy of enjoying both women. I have to ask my wife to join, she won't voluntarily.

She knows my biggest fantasy has always been to be with 2 women. Yet it is like pulling teeth to make it happen.

My wife has asked me to change the way I have kissed my whole life because that's the way he kisses and she loves it.

He can almost always make her cum. It's s challenge for me sometimes. So now I'm stuck trying to find out what he's doing that I'm not so I can repeat at home.

Going to cut this short and say. She is getting invited to movies at their house while I'm out if town. Invited to lunch. Invited to just hang out and invited to play.

As soon as I get home, we don't get invited like she does when I'm gone.

His wife always promises to me that we will meet or we will go fishing together, etc.... But plans always somehow fall through at last minute and I had got my hopes up for nothing.

Presently I have started to disconnect from the wife because of it. Each day I find her less attractive and would consider declining and invitation if I was given one.

On the other hand my wife and his relationship has gotten nothing but stronger.

I have voiced my concerns and asked if we should stop playing with them for now and just be friends. To my wife this wasn't an option. She has attempted to come up with every possible solution that would allow her to keep playing with him. Even when I told my wife I was not happy and not having fun.

I told her she was addicted to him and she agreed but said she really didn't want to stop. I even threatened to quit playing all together with them. But she still wanted to know that if I stop, will it be ok for her to keep playing.

She says her head has not been so clear and uncluttered since we have met them and fears losing that. I know she will resent me if put the breaks on her play time with him.

I'm lost.

What can I do to ease my mind ?

I know it's a lot of jealousy on my part, but I don't think I should feel this way, should I ?

Should she not offer to stop playing when she sees me hurting ?

We have always had a great marriage, and are very much in love.

I just don't think I can compete with this guy.

If you need more info, please let me know as I am sure I left something out.

 

Thanks

[JandKinBoise 859]

This is a pretty horrible situation. I think maybe you should ask her to read your post and see if she can offer any advise on making this better.

Her infatuation with him is blinding her to your problems. She seems to think that you aren't really necessary in this relationship. If you put a stop to this she will be resentful. Maybe you could spell out the problem to her, and the consequences that may arise. See if possibly she can see that she needs to stop this, Maybe if it is her idea, she won't be so resentful.

[Lostinmyownhead 15]

JandK,

 

Thanks for your response. I had considered asking her to read it. I would really like to watch the expressions on her face as she reads it. See if it's more disgust or empathy. I hope that would help me decide how to proceed, depending on her response.

On a lighter note. I grew up in Nampa, just a short drive from you. Spent most of my teen days at Bogus Basin on the slopes.

Again,

Thanks

[GoldCoCouple 4,068]

We play as a team. If either one of us were to say that we wanted to stop seeing a couple, or even just stop swinging, then we would both gladly stop with no questions asked. You both need to stop seeing this couple...NOW. It sounds like your wife is caught up in the NRE (new relationship energy) and is only focusing on that. When you connected with the woman (the second couple) and she didn't connect with the man and she wanted to move on, you both did. This is the same situation, only reverse. Remind her of this and (try) to move on. I say try because it doesn't sound like she wants to move on and may very well not choose to do so. There are so many red flags waving it looks like a Russian holiday parade.

 

Even when I told my wife I was not happy and not having fun. I told her she was addicted to him and she agreed but said she really didn't want to stop. I even threatened to quit playing all together with them. But she still wanted to know that if I stop, will it be ok for her to keep playing.

 

At this point, I think you should probably take a break and work on your relationship with just her for the time being. Be aware that she may try to continue seeing him...trust but verify. You've told her that you and the other wife are not connecting, but she seems not to care about this (or your feelings) right now. That alone is disrespectful and you are both supposed to be a team here. I really think that you two are in a dangerous place and need to stop swinging until you can improve things a bunch and even then not with this couple. Good luck and let us know how things progress.

[Guest]

Think I have heard this story about a 100 times.

 

Its just my opinion but when you let your partner play alone then a lot of the time it ends up causing issues.

 

Yes the idea of your partner having and fun friendship and sexual affair with someone else can be exciting.

 

Yes at first it can go really well.

 

Then after a few meets and if your partner is actually enjoying it the issues start.

[luvin eye full 140]

Man get her to read this and if she can not stop - then it's over,

 

Your point about you stopping straight away when it was her not feeling it and her not says volumes on what pages you guys are on.

 

The other thing that stands out is your posting on how both girls will play with him but turn it around and they don't with you.

Why because the wife of the other husband has his back - your wife does not.

the wife of the other husband cares about his feelings and stays with him - yours does not

 

The other wife has respect for her partner AND their relationship your does not.

 

Stop every thing until you two can be a partnership again.

 

If she says no or worse OK but still does it behind your back. ( which i think is on the cards )

Then you are on your own sorry.