Wife regarding swinging - "Why? I am happy with what I have"

[tj680 28]

So need advice to help wife overcome one final question.

 

She ask the following question "Why do I need to swing? I am happy with what I have!"

 

A bit of back ground - we have one experience so far - a full swap with a known couple. It happened as we were planning a vacation and the vanilla vacation was revised to be our introduction. Over the course of a week we escalated our play culminating in a full swap in the same room. The exp overall was good but not great. She has clearly indicated that she would play with them again.

 

A large part of the issue is the strangers vs known couple element. We have been on several dates, but most cpls don't want to invest the time to get to know each other before playing.

 

Suggestions or responses to the question?

 

Thanks for your help.

[luvin eye full 140]

Actually that's a good question,

 

Why does she need to swing?

 

What is it that makes her need to do it?

 

Just asking.

[ViSexual 1,008]

You know, we have a fairly new truck and car. I'm completely satisfied with both. But if a friend offered to let me take his Porsche for a spin? Why not?

[Guest]

The simple answer to your question, why should I want to swing when I'm happy with what I have got already? Would be....

 

Because its fun, exciting, adventurous, something we can explore together as a couple, it expands our own experiences, provides the occasional reason to head out and dress up nice, is a social activity, is expanding on a already good sex life, brings variety, helps us try new things.

 

In fact there are a lot of answers but I could only suggest focusing on the positive answers.

 

However in my experience I have found a huge amount of people DO NOT want to mix the sexual aspect of swinging with normal everyday friendship, in fact the sexual aspect changes the entire playing field.

 

In my personal opinion a lot of people are not great at mixing sex and friendship together in the same pot.

 

I would say....

 

- Single Men: Generally just want the sex side of things and care little for normal decency or friendship.

 

- Couples: Want to explore the sexual side but don't want to build huge friendships because they want safety, they want to keep a discreet safe distance between the sexy play partners and their everyday lives. That in some cases sleeping with someone else would be okay, having them hang out as friends every week as well would create tension or even jealousy for a couple. Occasionally sleeping with them is different to having them knocking on your door for BBQ'S every week.

 

- Single Women: I have found single women are a lot more open to the idea of friendship and sex, that putting it simple women are better at processing both sex and friendship at the same time, however single women also come with their own set of issues.

 

 

Finding someone to be play partners AND friends at the same time can be very hard indeed, usually people are one or the other, just a friend or a sex partner.

 

However I do find when a partner asks a question like, why should I want this?

 

They are kind of asking an impossible question to answer, that they are looking for 1 solid ironclad answer to explain this entire subject, they are looking for some deep explanation, some solid reason and often its impossible to answer.

[ErikaAndPeter 104]

Coincidentally, my husband and I had a related conversation a few days ago. He said that, as much as he enjoyed being with other women, if he could have sex with only one woman he would always choose me. I feel the same way about him. Intimacy is a major contributor to sexual satisfaction, and neither of us could have the same degree of intimacy with a temporary play partner that we have developed with each other over decades. On thee other hand, swinging and hotwifing has exposed me to a wide variety of men of different physical attributes, races, attitudes, and sexual skills. From a purely physical standpoint, I have had mindblowing sex that far exceeds what I get from my husband. I have discovered sexual activities and likes that I can teach my husband. Thus, sex with my husband and sex with other partners are complementary. Having one kind of sex does not mean that I am dissatisfied with the other.

[2NoLimit 95]

I think only you can answer that question.

 

I believe the majority of the couples we have met are very happy!! Including ourselves. Why do we do it? It brings a sense of adventure, and spice into our lives. We are not doing this out of boredom with each other quite the opposite, we want to give more to each other then we can offer. Our communication/trust/love for each has never been better.

[luvin eye full 140]

ErikaAndPeter

 

That's what you found after starting lol,

 

2Nolimit - Same here, i think most find this out if they go into it with loving harts towards each other.

 

Maybe that is the answer to give.

[Alura 2,775]

Happiness and swinging are to be found in different hunting grounds. If y'all are happy with each other, you can probably swing.

 

Swinging is for fun and only fun. It does not bring happiness.

[GoldCoCouple 4,068]

If Ms. Gold is willing to tell me her fantasies, I'm more than willing to try and make them come true. This has brought us closer together and allowed us to both be more open with each other. Would we have been okay without this: yes. Has this made our relationship stronger and better: yes! Could we stop today without looking back: yes. This is the sprinkles on our ice cream sundae of life...the sundae would have still been great without them, but it's better with them.

 

In your case, however, it's a question that only the two of you can answer. If she is asking the question, I would guess that she wanted you to say that it's not important to you, just something that brings you closer and more open to each other. I'm guessing here, but it sounds like she wants to make sure that you love her first and foremost and that anything else that happens is a very distant second. Talk to her and find out. Open up those lines of communication even wider, it almost never hurts and will usually just make your relationship stronger, no matter what the outcome is.

[Anonymous1 15]

You know, we have a fairly new truck and car. I'm completely satisfied with both. But if a friend offered to let me take his Porsche for a spin? Why not?

 

Now if only I could find a Porsche. That seems to be the big problem. There are plenty of hot wives out there but very few hot men.

[SW_PA_Couple 4,026]

Now if only I could find a Porsche. That seems to be the big problem. There are plenty of hot wives out there but very few hot men.

Keep lookin'. They exist.

[njbm 2,901]

We find more hot men than hot wives. We are late 50s. My wife is in great shape, most of the women we meet are not. Hate to generalize, but that has been our experience. Maybe it is different in a younger age group.

[tj680 28]

If Ms. Gold is willing to tell me her fantasies, I'm more than willing to try and make them come true. This has brought us closer together and allowed us to both be more open with each other. Would we have been okay without this: yes. Has this made our relationship stronger and better: yes! Could we stop today without looking back: yes. This is the sprinkles on our ice cream sundae of life...the sundae would have still been great without them, but it's better with them.

 

In your case, however, it's a question that only the two of you can answer. If she is asking the question, I would guess that she wanted you to say that it's not important to you, just something that brings you closer and more open to each other. I'm guessing here, but it sounds like she wants to make sure that you love her first and foremost and that anything else that happens is a very distant second. Talk to her and find out. Open up those lines of communication even wider, it almost never hurts and will usually just make your relationship stronger, no matter what the outcome is.

 

Thanks - you guys always give great sagely advice! Much appreciated.

 

TJ