Should I let my wife fuck my good friend?

[eldiablo311 201]

So my good friend, that I have known for years, has verbally expressed to me and my wife that he thinks she is beautiful and would fuck her, and my wife said to him that she thinks he is attractive and would fuck him, but said she doesn't want to cross that friendship line and risk ruining our friendship with him. We have always had a rule that she wouldn't fuck friends or co-workers due to possibly complications that could arise and deeper feelings possibly complicating the situation.

 

We all went to Mexico last year, and he was there with us for 1 week of our vacation and that is when that conversation went down. We all went skinny dipping and came back to our room. The discussion came up and we were all a little buzzed! This is when it almost went down, he was in front of her, her in her robe, naked underneath, standing in front of our bed. He was just waiting for her to say "yes" and he would have fucked her right there and then, but she was the voice of reason and said we shouldn't cross that line.

 

We are going back to Mexico in November and my wife said I should invite him, and I have. She said that nothing is going to happen with him though, not that she doesn't want to, but for the reason I stated above.

 

My question is this. We are possibly going to be out there with him, for another week together, drinking and partying, and most likely there will be sexual tension and some flirting. Should I allow them to fuck? Should we break our rule? Have any husbands on here allowed your wife to fuck one of your good friends that you have known for years? How did that affect your relationship with your good friend afterwards?

 

Thank you for the advice!

[Guest]

In my personal opinion the answer would be NO!!

 

Years ago when I was starting out with this lifestyle I made the tragic mistake of having a few MFM threesome with a few close male friends and it not only helped to destroy those friendships but caused our personal and social lives an awful amount of problems. Cutting a long story short we played with one of my male friends and then he basically went crazy and began stalking my girlfriend to an epic standard, then sometime later we tried with another one of my male friends and within 3 or 4 weeks he had told virtually everyone we knew which caused us a lot of personal upset and lost friendships.

 

I know how tempting it can be, someone you know well seems like a great option, someone you have built some trust with seems like a great option, SADLY HOWEVER in my experience those people know way too much about your lives for it to safe and secure, for example a friend will often know....

 

- Where / when the husband works.

- Where / when the wife works.

- Who you other friends are.

- Where your home is situated.

- What hobbies you enjoy and where.

- They often know some of your work friends.

- They often know some of your other family members.

- Sometimes they even know where your children work or study.

- They often know what car you drive.

- They sometimes know about your ex partners.

- Sometimes they know about your past, failures, secrets.

 

Basically there is an awful amount of things that can go wrong when playing with a close friend, some examples would be:

 

A) You play with a male friend and because of the close nature of the friendship he decides he can now take liberties with your wife, for example meet her alone, have sex with her alone, attempt to start some secret affair, turn up at your home when the male half of the couple is at work. Because you are close friends with this man he will be more likely to push boundaries, try and break your rules. In my experience if you play with a man who is a close friend then he often assumes he has a free ticket to ride your wife whenever he likes regardless of your rules boundaries or desires.

 

B) If you fall out with this man after playing then what is stopping him telling your other friends / family / work mates about your sexual exploits.

 

C) If this man knows your life then what is stopping him turning up at your wife's work place, or even turning up at your home whilst the husband is at work.

 

Those are just a few examples, but basically anyone who knows too much about your life is a danger in my eyes.

 

In my experience you are better meeting someone who doesn't know your other friends, who doesn't know any of your family or past, who doesn't know where you work, who doesn't know your daily routines or working patterns because such people are limited on what damage they can do if this goes wrong.

 

I have played with 2 friends in my life and both of them caused problems, I have played with numerous strangers in my life and none of them have been able to cause my life problems because they don't know enough to cause problems.

 

I think the biggest factor to me is that when you play with a friend they have a nasty habit of telling people, that us humans often experience something and then feel a need to speak about it, the classic line "I have something to tell you but its a secret so don't tell anyone else" instantly springs to mind.

 

You know how it works with friends, you tell a friend a secret in confidence and within a few months they have told another 2 people, then those 2 people have told another 10 people and so on. More than likely you would fuck this man and within a few weeks he would have told another friend he has fucked your wife, the friend he tells will then tell another 3 or 4 people and before you know it everyone knows.

 

Years ago one of the friends we played with was a very close and good friend, he was a passive nice guy, he was social, friendly, and he had been in my lifer some years, we had every reason to trust him but sadly he still went and told half the people we know that we had a threesome together and it did upset / worry some people.

 

My advice is to meet a new friend who doesn't know as much about your life.

[SW_PA_Couple 4,024]

Decisions should not be made while "buzzed".

[eldiablo311 201]

Sounds reasonable to me! That is why we made that rule "no friends, no co-workers"...so like you say, probably best to keep that boundary. Exactly for the reasons you are talking about, is why we have always done this with strangers that know nothing about us or where we live. It has always worked out great like that.

[luvin eye full 140]

No - only because it is your boundary at this time - some people can do it i find it has caused more hurt then fun in others i know have done it.

 

I / we would never as it is our boundary as well.

[GoldCoCouple 4,066]

Do a search for sex with friends - there are dozens of threads about having sex with friends here. There are also two schools of thought: heck yeah and hell no. If you currently have a established rule about this then it's really hell no. Personally, we are in the no camp. Risk/reward is too great that if anything happens to the friendship (and this will really test that friendship) your other friends and family may very well find out about it. Not worth the risk in our minds...especially when it is so easy to find someone you don't know who is in the L/S (and hopefully is better suited to this happening) to perform the same service...and is then gone.

[tj680 28]

Having had sex with our long time real friends, I would certainly advice to tread very very carefully - there are no u-turns. We have had difficulty & things have been stressful ever since - however, we are trying to patch things up and hopefully we are on the path to recovery but only time will tell. If we had to do it over again - I would take a different path!

[eldiablo311 201]

Sounds like it is best to stick with our rule of "no friends, no co-workers".

[machiavel55 81]

Sounds like it is best to stick with our rule of "no friends, no co-workers".

 

Wise words....but if you're all on vacation together...and as you said in your original post, get buzzed, will you(or your wife) be able to stick to the rule?

[EastInWest 1,524]

Our semi-regular play couple are old friends through the females. It helped that Mrs. E knows the male from way back and feels comfortable with them. It came up because during girl talk she'd let something slip about considering a threesome. A while later, we ended up getting invited to play with them, something we didn't really know about them.

 

However, there's enough distance there, both physically and socially, that they don't cross our vanilla lives. I'd have strong reservations about adding that complication to a close face-to-face friendship. Unless this is something who embraces that lifestyle, you don't know how discrete he can actually be if things get difficult.

 

On a scale of 1-10, how bad will it be if it gets around town? I'll bet the answer isn't "0".

[GoldCoCouple 4,066]

Sounds like it is best to stick with our rule of "no friends, no co-workers".

 

At least this is going to have the least risk and potential drama. Instead of taking old friends and trying to turn them into swingers, what we did was find some swingers and turned them into old friends.

[eldiablo311 201]

Regarding the other point some are bringing up, about this friend possibly telling other friends about what we did together. First my friend, Nate, is discreet, and doesn't gossip really. Second, in our group of friends we have at least 2 sets of swinger couples. One of them actually hosted several swinger parties at their house several years ago. Another friend of ours met his wife online, invited her to a house party with my friends, and another good friend of mine took turns fucking that girl, in a MFM threesome, starting in the kitchen and then into the bedroom, all night long! The one friend ended up marrying her a year or so later and we all speculated that they were still playing with that other friend of ours and others afterwards.

 

So swinging/hotwifing/swapping wives is not that much of a shocker in my group of friends! Lol

[GoldCoCouple 4,066]

Only you know all of the details and if you decide to go for it, then that's up to you. IN GENERAL and on the average, most of the time regular friends do not seem to make the best playmates. If you are already in kind of a swinger oriented group, then you are already kind of all swingers who are friends. Bottom line is it will always be your (you and your SO) call. Let us know what you decide and what happens...

[eldiablo311 201]

Thank you! I will let you guys know what happens for sure! I think we will end up just playing it by ear and like was said not make any decisions while drunk.

[PSULioness 859]

After having my husband (prior to us being married) play with my college friends who live hours away. I only got involved because I was trying and enjoying being with my old girlfriends. I felt safe because these friends weren't near us.

 

Just a week after we were married my husband suggested we have a 3some with his best man. I know him for some time and we always joked about sex things. Always in a kidding flirtatious way. I never thought it was a serious way. I thought of him almost like my husbands brother. They are very close friends. When he brought it up I said it was a bad idea. I said our swinging was because of the girls not the guys for me. He told me he never discussed it with his friend. It was just an idea. He did say that our friend has always said that he was lucky to have me. I finally said I would if he wanted it. For me it was awkward. I didn't want to kiss him or give him a bj. We did it and I think we are both good with it now.

[eldiablo311 201]

So you had sex with him and only that one time?

[cplnluv1 872]

If you are good with it and she is, why not? Who better than someone you both like.

[eldiablo311 201]

If you are good with it and she is, why not? Who better than someone you both like.

 

Yeah, we will see. I have decided to not mention it to either of them again, but if one of them asks I will let my buddy know the exact dates we are going and where we are staying. If he ends up going, I am going to let it flow naturally, stay out of it as much as I can and let what happens happen. We will see!

[Guest 2B13RFUN]

Probably no.

[ray12 17]

hard to say ....it could turn out nice or it could kill a friendship

[Guest]

Possibly, its a bigger decision than you anticipate. If you let her or encourage her to start with one of your friends, then the progression may become one friend, and then another because friends are right there, somewhat easy targets. It would be much better for you both to start elsewhere. Once you become experienced with various aspects of swinging, better learn your likes and dislikes, then you can always re-visit the friends issue.

[awkwardcouple 15]

So is there an update on what happened on the trip to Mexico?

[eldiablo311 201]

Nothing happened, but there was a lot of flirting and skinny dipping happened between us three.

 

So an update is we went to a party with my friends, and the friend that my wife likes (and he likes her too), the one that went to Mexico with us was there. My wife was hitting on him big time, I gave her the green light to flirt with him as much as she wanted. He LOVED it! Anyways now we are all talking about a possibility of him coming to our town for a visit, staying with us, and seeing what happens.

 

I told both of them they have my permission to do whatever my wife is comfortable with, including fucking.

 

Do you think this is a good idea? I guess it's hard to say...I know everyone is different. I really respect my friend and he respects me. We have been long time friends. My wife is very respectful and honest...so is my friend, so I feel like it could be a good thing.

 

What do you guys think?

[luv2was 117]

... What do you guys think?

There are some fairly tried-and-true rules in the Swinger Lifestyle (regarding: respect, communication, honesty, trust etc.), but I suspect the question of: "Should we try and include swinging with our vanilla friends?" is largely situational.

 

Based on my general memory of what I've seen posted on this BBS over the years, I'd be inclined to say that "it may be a bad idea". On the other hand, if it worked, it could be great!

 

I think the real question that everyone in this situation has to ask:

"Is it worth the risk (to the friendship) to give it a try?"

 

:-|

 

I looked back on your previous posts in this thread, and it appears to me that y'all are approaching this with your eyes wide open, which is a good thing. I suppose there is no way to know for sure (as usual) till you actually try it (and jump off that proverbial cliff).

 

Emphasize the basics, and your chances of success should increase exponentially.

 

As was mentioned previously, sticking with your rule of "no friends, no co-workers" will always be safest.

 

I would think that one other significant factor would be: "How strong a grasp do all involved have regarding what really makes a swinging situation work?"

[bucksbunny 17]

No, you made that boundary for a reason, if you break it it will go bad. Remember her reasoning. I am a Cuckqueen, always loved the idea in the early days of crossing the boundary, but I knew this. Me and my husband spoke in length and I promised him it would have no issues with us, as a couple, as a loving couple and with our sex life. I love the fact my husband flirts with other woman, I love the fact he can have another woman as I totally get turned on by this concept as well as the reality of the whole situation.

 

If I had made boundaries, I know, as a woman, in my head, crossing that would lead to complications. After all these years with my husband, and I am now 52, I still love the fact my husband flirts, and plays (if a lady he fancies comes our way), although we are looking for the right woman for a long term, friendship with benefits.

 

I wish you well, but please, if you cross it, cross it mutually, and talk openly, without alcohol and after you both have made love, so there will be no sexual tension. xx all the best xx

[eldiablo311 201]

There are some fairly tried-and-true rules in the Swinger Lifestyle (regarding: respect, communication, honesty, trust etc.), but I suspect the question of: "Should we try and include swinging with our vanilla friends?" is largely situational.

 

Based on my general memory of what I've seen posted on this BBS over the years, I'd be inclined to say that "it may be a bad idea". On the other hand, if it worked, it could be great!

 

I think the real question that everyone in this situation has to ask:

"Is it worth the risk (to the friendship) to give it a try?"

 

:-|

 

I looked back on your previous posts in this thread, and it appears to me that y'all are approaching this with your eyes wide open, which is a good thing. I suppose there is no way to know for sure (as usual) till you actually try it (and jump off that proverbial cliff).

 

Emphasize the basics, and your chances of success should increase exponentially.

 

As was mentioned previously, sticking with your rule of "no friends, no co-workers" will always be safest.

 

I would think that one other significant factor would be: "How strong a grasp do all involved have regarding what really makes a swinging situation work?"

 

 

 

Thanks everyone for the advise!

 

So I have a little more time to explain the situation now. So we all went on that Mexico trip a couple of years ago and there was obvious flirting between the two, the skinny dipping between us three at night in the ocean, and him coming back to our room for drinks afterwards for several hours...more flirting, and the discussing of our situation/open marriage and how they are both attracted to each other, the whole time my wife was sitting next to him in just a robe, nothing underneath. They both said they would fuck each other, but we were all concerned about crossing that line of doing things with a good friend.

 

Cut to now, we went to the Xmas party at my friends house last week, and she knew she had my full consent to flirt with him as much as she wanted as usual. It got pretty obvious, my friends noticed! Lol! They were on the couch holding hands and had hands on each others upper thighs.

 

So after that I have talked with my wife and my buddy and let them both know that I am 100% good with them doing anything my wife is comfortable with doing. My wife seems really into him, and that has been the problem with other guys she has fucked since we have been together...she hasn't been into them, and she says she needs to feel comfortable with someone for the sex to be good. She was attracted to the guys she fucked at the time in the past, but they were one night stands she met out at a bar in Vegas or such, and so she didn't feel comfortable enough with them physically to cum or for it to be really good for her. So I feel like there is natural chemistry between her and my buddy and this could lead to a GREAT experience for both of them...my wife may even cum for the first time with another guy. This is a natural situation of chemistry and attraction and I feel there is mutual respect with my friend and respect and love between my wife and I.

 

I asked my friend how he would feel if this happened, and how he would feel if it all ended eventually, and he said that he wouldn't "be hurt or weird if it stopped or if this step did not start at all...hope you all would be cool with it too!". So I feel like after knowing him all of these years, and how he is, and knowing my wife that this could work out great. Obviously there are unknowns and something bad COULD happen, but that is the case anytime you invite someone else into your bedroom I feel. Maybe I am justifying this, but I kinda want to see what happens, they are so into each other and my wife is always soo in control about her feelings and not getting into this. I want to see her lose her mind over another guy, not divorce me, but just be begging me for another man's cock.

 

My wife has said many times, this is my fantasy, and if it is going to happen, it has to happen on her terms and naturally...so I feel this is the most natural situation we have come across. They have obvious chemistry and attraction.

 

What do you all think?

[adamgunn 1,460]

All three of you seem to have thought it through. I would go for it in your situation, with two caveats: Get your wife to promise you that no matter what, you'll always be your number one. Understand that it's possible that you'll lose this other man as your friend.

 

How to get it started? If you don't have a big thing about watching, simply let her know that she has your complete okay with this. Then invite him over to hang. When he gets there, tell them both that they should have some fun and that you'll be gone for two hours. Then don't bother them for those two hours.

 

If you want to watch, invite him over and play some sort of a strip game. If they don't take the hint after that, well . . .

[eldiablo311 201]

All three of you seem to have thought it through. I would go for it in your situation, with two caveats: Get your wife to promise you that no matter what, you'll always be your number one. Understand that it's possible that you'll lose this other man as your friend.

 

How to get it started? If you don't have a big thing about watching, simply let her know that she has your complete okay with this. Then invite him over to hang. When he gets there, tell them both that they should have some fun and that you'll be gone for two hours. Then don't bother them for those two hours.

 

If you want to watch, invite him over and play some sort of a strip game. If they don't take the hint after that, well . . .

 

 

 

Thanks for the advice!

 

So I have been thinking about it a lot, and I think like you said we have thought it through for awhile and we are respect each other, and my wife and I love and respect each other very much. There really isn't a way to know for sure how it will all play out, but I think going into it with that is a good thing. Like you said as long as before we get into it, I want to make sure my wife knows I love and respect her very much, and I want to know she feels the same way about me (which she does, just want to hear her say it again)! Lol

 

So far the plan is my buddy will come to town for a weekend, stay at our apartment, "sleep on the couch", and we will all hang out and have fun going out and coming back having some drinks. I have already let them both know I a 100% fine with anything happening, as long as my wife is wanting it to happen.

 

I think that's all I need to do. Now, I just need to shut up about it, and sit back, without pressuring anything to happen, and watch. But if it goes down, I definitely want to be there to see it!

[adamgunn 1,460]

ElDiablo, you said, "we will all hang out and have fun going out and coming back having some drinks." May I say this is a bit dangerous? Excessive drinking - and that's more than a couple of drinks - often leads to bad decisions and disappointment.

[GoldCoCouple 4,066]

One more time: BAD IDEA

 

Even if everything goes perfect (right now) you are running the risk that in the future something goes south and EVERYONE YOU KNOW finds out about your sex life. Is this worth the risk? If you don't have a problem with this, then go for it (since you don't seem to listen to warnings anyway).

 

Think about the story of the turtle and the scorpion...most people aren't wired for swinging and trying to take someone not into the L/S, not prepared for the emotions involved, is just not a good idea.

[Aaron911 45]

I literally just went through this same exact scenario and it ended in the worst possible outcome... we also invited a good friend (because we thought we could trust him) into our marriage and had endless sexual encounters to the point where he was actually living with us temporary but he became obsessed with my wife and ruined our friendship so much that we became enemies and now everyone knows about our personal lives... everything bad that could happen did and it definitely wasn't worth it. Never mix friendship with pleasure. It gets very confusing for most. I hope this helps you....

[rockstarpoet 15]

So my good friend, that I have known for years, has verbally expressed to me and my wife that he thinks she is beautiful and would fuck her, and my wife said to him that she thinks he is attractive and would fuck him, but said she doesn't want to cross that friendship line and risk ruining our friendship with him. We have always had a rule that she wouldn't fuck friends or co-workers due to possibly complications that could arise and deeper feelings possibly complicating the situation.

 

We all went to Mexico last year, and he was there with us for 1 week of our vacation and that is when that conversation went down. We all went skinny dipping and came back to our room. The discussion came up and we were all a little buzzed! This is when it almost went down, he was in front of her, her in her robe, naked underneath, standing in front of our bed. He was just waiting for her to say "yes" and he would have fucked her right there and then, but she was the voice of reason and said we shouldn't cross that line.

 

We are going back to Mexico in November and my wife said I should invite him, and I have. She said that nothing is going to happen with him though, not that she doesn't want to, but for the reason I stated above.

 

My question is this. We are possibly going to be out there with him, for another week together, drinking and partying, and most likely there will be sexual tension and some flirting. Should I allow them to fuck? Should we break our rule? Have any husbands on here allowed your wife to fuck one of your good friends that you have known for years? How did that affect your relationship with your good friend afterwards?

 

Thank you for the advice!

 

Im going to say NOT WITH A CLOSE FRIEND!! My wife and I have done this a few times twice with FFM and twice with MFM... However all of the people we invited were more of aquantences than anything else. Its fun, I have to admit, but I tried one time with a close friend and there was way too much going on in my mind and I stopped before it got too serious. My thoughts were, that my good friend is her good friend, and thats when feeling could get in the way. Your better off doing it with someone you and your wife barely know.

[Himand+Another? 24]

Yes playing with friends is complicated! I would say let him go down on her and see how she feels about it. The Mrs and I have had great times with a very close friend of mine and it causes no problems at all!! I understand boundaries,but the next time your wife is sitting in front of him naked under a robe I would just let him go down on her or let him pull out his cock and leave it hang there and see what your wife does. When I shared the Mrs with my friend it was awkward at first we were sitting under a blanket on the couch She spread her legs reached over graves his hand and put it on her pussy and then pulled his chick out and started playing with it in front of me while he played with her. I found it very sexy! We have had no

Problem with my friend he respects boundaries also though. Just a little insight.

[Guest sdsevits]

Don't let it happen. This will end badly and I will tell you why. Because the way you describe the situation it seems like they are way to into each other almost as if they have a Romantic attraction and NOT a Sexusl attraction only. They like each other way too much and I would advise against this. Your wife says she can't enjoy the sex or cum if she isn't into the guy, sounds to me like she can only enjoy sex or cum if she is in love with the person and that's not good. Swinging is all about sex only No feelings involved because that's when bad things happen and relationships end. DON'T LET THEM DO IT. THIS WILL END BADLY. Stop thinking with your penis and start listening to reason and what everyone on here is telling you.

[Aaron911 45]

My wife also became intimate with my best friend

They also started seeing each other on the side and behind everyones back.

 

Don't let it happen. This will end badly and I will tell you why. Because the way you describe the situation it seems like they are way to into each other almost as if they have a Romantic attraction and NOT a Sexusl attraction only. They like each other way too much and I would advise against this. Your wife says she can't enjoy the sex or cum if she isn't into the guy, sounds to me like she can only enjoy sex or cum if she is in love with the person and that's not good. Swinging is all about sex only No feelings involved because that's when bad things happen and relationships end. DON'T LET THEM DO IT. THIS WILL END BADLY. Stop thinking with your penis and start listening to reason and what everyone on here is telling you.

[eldiablo311 201]

Yes playing with friends is complicated! I would say let him go down on her and see how she feels about it. The Mrs and I have had great times with a very close friend of mine and it causes no problems at all!! I understand boundaries,but the next time your wife is sitting in front of him naked under a robe I would just let him go down on her or let him pull out his cock and leave it hang there and see what your wife does. When I shared the Mrs with my friend it was awkward at first we were sitting under a blanket on the couch She spread her legs reached over graves his hand and put it on her pussy and then pulled his chick out and started playing with it in front of me while he played with her. I found it very sexy! We have had no

Problem with my friend he respects boundaries also though. Just a little insight.

 

Sounds like a good time! I think it could very possibly work out that way for us too, just the way all of our personalities are. We will find out! He is staying with us in our 1 bedroom apt at the end of the month!

[Numex 2,420]

My wife also became intimate with my best friend

They also started seeing each other on the side and behind everyones back.

If you tell them it's ok to see each other on the side and play alone, they'll have no reason to do anything behind your back. Those things burn very hot for a short while and they're fucking all the time, but then it flames out. But you're left hearing the good stories.

 

... the way you describe the situation it seems like they are way to into each other almost as if they have a Romantic attraction and NOT a Sexusl attraction only. They like each other way too much and I would advise against this. Your wife says she can't enjoy the sex or cum if she isn't into the guy, sounds to me like she can only enjoy sex or cum if she is in love with the person and that's not good. .

To varying degrees, my wife and I have an emotional/romantic attachment to those in the closed group of couples who we play with. One guy in particular, he and my wife even exchange "I love you"s both when fucking and when saying goodbye. It doesn't bother me or his wife that they care about one another. It's good for me that the guys she fucks don't treat her as just a cum dump, but actually like my wife to a degree the way that I do.

[eldiablo311 201]

If you tell them it's ok to see each other on the side and play alone, they'll have no reason to do anything behind your back. Those things burn very hot for a short while and they're fucking all the time, but then it flames out. But you're left hearing the good stories.

 

To varying degrees, my wife and I have an emotional/romantic attachment to those in the closed group of couples who we play with. One guy in particular, he and my wife even exchange "I love you"s both when fucking and when saying goodbye. It doesn't bother me or his wife that they care about one another. It's good for me that the guys she fucks don't treat her as just a cum dump, but actually like my wife to a degree the way that I do.

 

This is exactly how we feel. My wife doesn't want to feel like a cum dumpster for guys that don't care about her. That isn't enjoyable for her. Sex is only good for her if she likes the person she is fucking.

 

I would think regardless of who the person is, friend or no friend, if you are fucking them, especially on a regular basis, you would have to have some sort of feelings for them.

 

Also, with regard to my wife "seeing him behind my back", she is a very honest person and I don't think that could happen... secondly my friend lives 8hrs away from us by car, and third my wife would know I want her to fuck him so she wouldn't have any reason to hide the fact that she was going to fuck him if by chance they were together alone sometime somewhere without me.

[Numex 2,420]

... Sex is only good for her if she likes the person she is fucking.

 

I would think regardless of who the person is, friend or no friend, if you are fucking them, especially on a regular basis, you would have to have some sort of feelings for them...

Agreed 100%. True for my wife and even for me as a guy, I don't want to just fuck random women. I want to know her and like her, and that leads to feelings. As I've mentioned before, the wife of one couple and I go to cultural events that my wife and her husband have no interest in, while they screw. The other wife and I will only have quick sex or none at all.

 

 

... Also, with regard to my wife "seeing him behind my back", ... my wife would know I want her to fuck him so she wouldn't have any reason to hide the fact that she was going to fuck him if by chance they were together alone sometime somewhere without me.

Same with us. We have no rules so there's no reason to lie. And we know how much we love one another because we know exactly where we stand. She gives me most of her time, energy and affection freely, not out of pretense or obligation.

[roro 15]

Some news?

[PSULioness 859]

I remembered this post from before. We have been playing with my husband’s best friend for a few years now. It was my husband’s idea. My introduction to group sex was based on a bisexual feeling I didn’t know I had. The only men I played with were at parties or my friends partners. We were newlyweds and my husband got to experience all my college girlfriends who partied. I never expected to hear that my husband wanted our friend to join us. I didn’t want to ruin our friendship, I truly like him as a friend. Fast forward a few years and I can’t remember the time before we started doing this. He is the only man I have one on one sex with outside of my husband. My husband travels for work and many times our friend keeps me company. It has not hurt any relationship.

This most likely will not be as successful in most relationships.

[couplers 4,654]

... I never expected to hear that my husband wanted our friend to join us. I didn’t want to ruin our friendship, I truly like him as a friend. Fast forward a few years and I can’t remember the time before we started doing this. He is the only man I have one on one sex with outside of my husband...

How did/does this make you feel?

 

For me having a husband who was happy for me to have a boyfriend made me simultaneously feel loved, empowered and liberated. It was something I deserved.

[eldiablo311 201]

So everything went well!

 

My friend stayed with us, and on the second night, I proposed that they go into the bedroom for a couple of hours of "alone time", shut the door, and do whatever they wanted. They took me up on it. My wife sucked his cock, he ate her out, they made out, he fingered her....however, he was nervous and not sure about the situation I think so he never got fully hard, so unfortunately they didn't fuck and my wife didn't cum. He ended up jerking himself off next to her while she was touching and making out with him. Also my wife said from what she could tell he had a really small cock, like as small as the smallest guys she has ever been with. However, she did feel very comfortable with him.

 

Honestly, afterwards, I was kinda surprised at how nothing changed between all of us....we literally all got along as if it never happened, no bad or weird feelings whatsoever!

[kittyswinger 260]

Hi! If your wife didnt change her mind on your friend, then the next thing to look out for is if she would ask for another get together or he might ask for it. In our situation with common friend, it wasnt a one time swing but it continued beyond that. It all depends if it will work for both of you or if bothers you. For us, there's no problem at all.

 

After our first mfm, he asked my partner if the 3 of us can play again sometime. His standard reply is if I agree to it, then why not. To make the story short, we played many times as mfm and and feelings developed quickly and found ourselves dating and playing separately. Im lucky he was nice and followed my rules to preserve the relationship with my primary partner. All ended well. Just be prepared if it escalates. No worries, if your wife loves you, she will stay.

[adamgunn 1,460]

ElDiablo, I'm glad for you that the first time went rather well. And if you all want to play again, I see no reason now not to continue.

 

I would be concerned, however, if it took off and she was full of New Relationship Energy. This may be a confusing time for her, and it needs to be managed sensitively. After an initial rush of them getting together, perhaps a few times in a week or two, I'd force a break of a couple weeks (if necessary.) Let her get her feet back on the ground again, realize he's only a toy and you're her main man.

 

This might not happen, just keep your eyes open for it.

[eldiablo311 201]

ElDiablo, I'm glad for you that the first time went rather well. And if you all want to play again, I see no reason now not to continue.

 

I would be concerned, however, if it took off and she was full of New Relationship Energy. This may be a confusing time for her, and it needs to be managed sensitively. After an initial rush of them getting together, perhaps a few times in a week or two, I'd force a break of a couple weeks (if necessary.) Let her get her feet back on the ground again, realize he's only a toy and you're her main man.

 

This might not happen, just keep your eyes open for it.

 

Yeah, it's no worries about them hooking up regularly, he lives in a different state and we only see him a couple times a year. She has no feelings towards him, other than him being a good friend, afterwards...she told me this. I believe her.

[LecrameMark 15]

Yes, but only if you fuck his wife. Hey if your wife wants that and you are a bit jealous, do it together 3some or 4some.

[David Lovell 160]

Has your friend not got a wife for you to fuck? That would be an ideal swapping situation.my wifecand I always swap as two couples. Friends only. We don't do casual swaps.

[Numex 2,420]

Has your friend not got a wife for you to fuck? That would be an ideal swapping situation.my wifecand I always swap as two couples. Friends only. We don't do casual swaps.

Agreed. The easiest, safest and least potential drama.

[Bluespruce1 706]

This can definitely get tricky and uncomfortable. We recently had an experience with a close friend that started to get uncomfortable. Our friend had recently gone through a very ugly divorce. She has been unable to meet anyone and was simply miserable. After a night of cocktails I invited her to join us to simply unwind and enjoy some selfish pleasure. We were already very close and had spent many hours naked together in our hot tub. My husband and I gave her an amazing night of guilt free sex. We laughed about it a couple of days later and she clearly seemed to love the fact that we could have sex free of any strings. About two weeks later, we were out and she asked us to take care of her again to help her relax and de-stress. This time she really connected with my husband and couldn't leave his cock alone while I watched or gave her oral while he was inside her. A couple of days later, my husband told me.thay she invited him over alone so we had to call it quits. I think if you are going to go in this direction, it's important to make sure they are in a solid mental space to avoid an confusion.