Advice for first hard swap.

[AngelDragon 17]

A little history first. While my wife of 12 years (Angel) and I were dating she would whisper in my ear during sex she wanted to be with another girl while I watched. I figured it was to get me going. Fast forward until about 5 years ago she finally admitted she was bi-curious. I encouraged her to explore that side of her sexuality and experiment with other women. Angel had a few women she played with. About a year after we switched childcare, the woman (Anne) watching our kids got comfortable with us and admitted she was bi as well. My wife and the Anne developed a very close friendship and began having a relationship on the side. I was ok with the relationship as well as her husband was, infact I encouraged it. It seemed to give Angel something that was missing that I could not give her. After a few years it turned Into a fun time for both us and the other couple. A couple times we had a 4 some with the women only interacting more than touching, aside from a double blow job for each of the men. We had a great time. We decided that we would like to try for a FMF, after a few months we met a married woman willing to join us an we had several encounters with her. Her husband liked hearing her stories of her sexual adventures so everyone had fun. All of this brings us up to tomorrow nights meet and dinner with another married couple. Angel met Jenica online, Jenica is married to James. They are interested in a hard swap. I have never shared my wife with another man. Angel has fantasies of a MFM. I will admit I have watched a few gangbang and MFM porn and it turns me on, I am just concerned that it will be a problem for me watching her be pleasured by another man in a way that until now only I have done for her. I have no concerns about emotions of jealousy over Angel leaving me for another man but rather feeling a loss of connection between us. I feel a deep emotional connection with my wife and don't want to feel like her being pleasured by another man had an effect on that. I would love to have a fun experience and fulfill Angel's fantasies. What advice do more experienced couples have to help me come to terms with my concerns?

 

TLDR; We have some swapping experience, and are considering a hard swap, need advice on dealing possible concerns of another man pleasuring my wife.

[Funguy796 44]

Hello, I happened to see your post first and I'll reply as the "extra guy". I enjoy MFM fun for many reasons but probably the most important is I enjoy being with a couple that is happy and tuned into each other. I am like extra help. Guys are less than a dime a dozen as it has been said. Have fun at the dinner. Communicate any concerns or desires with your wife before hand. Have a safe word to stop. If you know you will have a problem watching her DO NOT DO IT. However, most couples I know both talk with me about how more connected they feel. The key is really, it does not matter what others want or do, follow your dreams. It sounds like she is ready but you are not so do not rush into. Maybe have a talk about it and settle for soft play with no penetration. It is more arousing than it sounds. I hope this helps you decide:)

[AngelDragon 17]

Thanks for the advice. I think that is a good step. I did a little stewing overnight about it and have figured out the soft play thought is a turn on for me. Maybe as we get more comfortable with the other couple it won't be a concern like I thought it might. Thanks again. Glad I found this community, everyone is so friendly and it's refreshing.

[GoldCoCouple 4,066]

It's hard to tell what is in Pandora's box until you have already opened it. Don't rush into a hard swap...take your time. Plan on and talk with the other couple about just a soft swap this time and then maybe next time...As already said, make sure that you have a 'safe word' or phrase that tells your partner if things are okay or if either of you are having problems with what is happening. Also, make sure that you keep checking on her to make sure that she is fine as well (too many times one side of a couple gets preoccupied in the other person and doesn't make sure that their spouse is okay). Don't go faster than the slowest member of the group. Also, nobody should feel pressure to do anything they don't want to. More than likely you will find out that you are okay with everything that is going on, but you need to have a plan if either of you aren't. Always keep talking with your spouse, too much communication is rarely a bad thing. Good luck with this next step and let us know what happens and how things went.

[AngelDragon 17]

Thanks for the insight GoldCoCouple, it's definitely some food for thought. Well, were headed out to dinner, hope we all get along. I'm pretty excited for another group experience, feels almost like dating again

[couplers 4,654]

Like many things in life, you try it, if you don't like it you move on and don't do it again (or at least again the same way). Sex is the same - let your wife fuck another guy, next time watch her fuck another guy. If one or both of you don't like it then don't do it again and don't look back.

[MarniJohn 172]

I agree with GoldCoCouple, that once you have opened that box... You also can't unsee what you will witness. Take your time and go step by step. Let her know how you feel so that when you decide to move forward, she should be watching to make sure you are ok with it.

[GoldCoCouple 4,066]

It IS dating again, just couples dating. So how did things go?

[AngelDragon 17]

Apologies for the late reply. Dinner went well. I was far less nervous after the couple showed up to the restaurant than the entire time leading up to it haha. We had a good time, but ultimately Angel and I didn't feel any chemistry. Jenica had a fun personality but she carried the couple in conversation. We are looking for a longterm friendship that can turn into fun if the mood stikes. This weekend we are going to dinner with a possible woman for Angel. She is where we were a few years ago. Recently come out to her husband as bi and contacted Angel online. We are going to dinner with her and her husband. I do have advice in that arena haha.

[GoldCoCouple 4,066]

Once again, there's no rush. The 'right' couple is out there but sometimes they aren't easy to find (as in almost always). Meeting the first couple is the hardest (fear of the unknown). It gets easier from here on out. Better luck this weekend.