Help! Where do I start!? What do I do!?

[Jobin_13 15]

Hello all,

I'm a single straight identifying, but orally bi curious male, and I'm ready to start exploring some sexual interests I've always had, but wasn't comfortable seeking out, until recently. I've always been into voyeurism,group play, parties, orgies,joining in with a couple, ect ect. I feel as a single man I'm at a disadvantage, and there aren't as many doors open to me as there would be if I were coupled, or a single female.

 

So my question really is where do I begin? What should I be looking for? How the hell does a well adjusted, fit, clean, non creep male get a foot in the door!? Help!! All advice is welcome, but specifically looking for couples with experience in my interests, or fella like myself who've already found the golden ticket. Thanks everyone!!-J

[dan63 106]

Actually I would say your bi-flexibility could give you an advantage over all the other blue fish. All you need to do is change your search parameters on the sites like SLS/C4P or whatever you use to exclusively search for couple with bi/bicurious males. You have something to offer that most of the other blue fish don't.

 

I would add that if you actually are bicurious you might want to change you profile on whichever site you use to reflect that. It will probably limit your opportunities some with the non-bi-male couples, but it will be more likely to open the doors for you that you want to travel thru. And will also limit any resentment the bi-male couple might feel towards you if you list as totally straight then reveal that you are actually bi-curious.

[Lionheart72 2,191]

Where to begin...

 

Broadly speaking, you have two non-exclusive, options. You can go to a local swingers club or clubs that allow single males or you can set up an online profile on a swinger site (or sites).

 

In either case, you first need to accept one simple fact - there are LOTS of single men out there and they are often ignored or rejected out of hand. The first thing you need to do is be able to handle rejection with grace, dignity and courtesy. Be able to hear "no," or receive no reply at all, and move on with a confident smile. Otherwise, you are dooming yourself to frustration.

 

Next, you need to do something to stand out from the crowd... and - to point out a few classic single man errors - no, your big cock, massive stamina, or love of oral sex do not make you stand out. They are, in fact, so common as to be dismissed out of hand. While moving the better direction, statements to the effect of "I'm a nice guy" really don't cut it either. Everyone says they are a nice guy. What I'd recommend is demonstrate through word and deed that you are actually a nice guy.

 

If you're online, actually read people's profiles and respond to specific points made in them in a genuine manner. If you're in person, be charming, polite, clean, generous and a little bit funny.

 

In either case, make your introduction, smile and don't be pushy. Most people are going to reject you. Some will do it politely. Others will be blunt or even rude about. Online, many will simply ignore you. Smile, shake it off and move on to the next folks.

 

My $.02. Take it for what it's worth.

[JandKinBoise 859]

Hi Jobin! Welcome. You should listen to the advise given so far. We are a couple that searches for single bi men. There are simple ways to float to the top of the huge pile of 'competition'. It's all in the ad to attract attention, then during an initial meeting, make sure to pay attention to, and compliment the lady. Good luck!

[WSB421 91]

If you're online, actually read people's profiles and respond to specific points made in them in a genuine manner. If you're in person, be charming, polite, clean, generous and a little bit funny.

 

I would add be self-aware and confident enough to talk about what you want when it feels appropriate. My wife and I are still in the talking stages but if we were approached in the above manner that would be much more likely to change.

[Lionheart72 2,191]

One other suggestion occurred to me... if you're at a club, actually go up and introduce yourself to people. I don't know how many single guys I've seen sitting in a corner, nursing a drink and looking completely closed off. I'm not sure if they actually expect a hot woman to be intrigued by this or what, but it really doesn't work.

 

Walk over to our table, introduce yourself, chat for a little, then excuse yourself to "refresh your drink" and give up a few minutes alone to decide if we're interested. If we are, we'll find you or gesture you back over. That's what works best with us, anyway.

 

Again, just my $.02.

[Jobin_13 15]

Actually I would say your bi-flexibility could give you an advantage over all the other blue fish. All you need to do is change your search parameters on the sites like SLS/C4P or whatever you use to exclusively search for couple with bi/bicurious males. You have something to offer that most of the other blue fish don't.

 

I would add that if you actually are bicurious you might want to change you profile on whichever site you use to reflect that. It will probably limit your opportunities some with the non-bi-male couples, but it will be more likely to open the doors for you that you want to travel thru. And will also limit any resentment the bi-male couple might feel towards you if you list as totally straight then reveal that you are actually bi-curious.

Thank you all for your help! I'm not sure I can reply to you all at once so I'll try one by one. So my openness to receive and perform oral by or on a man isn't driven by my own appetites most of the time,for me my attraction to sucking a cock derives from if it turns the woman on or not,or how much. So i don't really mention it right off the bat, or put it in my profile.I don't want to sell people something they may not get. I have a profile on Kasidie if your on there please add me as a friend, and let me know what you think. Profile name is MinEros and I'm in Denver Co.

[Jobin_13 15]

Thank you, I've actually been looking at some of the single guy profiles in the site I'm on, and I'm floored how rude, and vulgar just some of their screen names are. That's not me, I actually spent time thinking about a clever screen name, so it could be a ice breaker for clever folks that get it. Rejection doesn't bother me, I'm in sales so it just bounces right off. In this situation, rude people just mage me laugh. I mean why get pissy about another person having an interest in you? Especially in a place where you went to try and meet other people to fuck. Thank you, if you're on Kasidie my screen name is MinEros in Denver Co.

[Jobin_13 15]

All of this is very helpful, I'm glad I'm not doing any of the stuff you guys said stay away from. My screen name is an Egyptian and Greek gods of sex and sexuality combined. And I'm never offended by rejection. Well mostly never offended. I've joined the site Kasidie and so far really like it, but I'm open to suggestions if you know a better one. If anyone is on their pleas look me up,add me, and tell me what you think. My screen name is MinEros and I'm I Denver. Thanks all, sorry for the all over the place responses. For some reason the desk top version is on my phone so it's hard to follow. Thanks again every one!