Hot wife vs. cuckold, what's the difference?

[MarniJohn 172]

I am curious about what the difference is between hotwifing and cuckolding. I can't seem to find anything that really makes the difference between the two. Is it perhaps that the hotwife is the woman and the cuckold is the man?

[GoldCoCouple 4,065]

Cuckolding almost always involves humiliation of the husband. Hotwife may or may not involve humiliation of the husband. Minor difference but until stag and vixen becomes a more recognized term hotwife covers everything that involves the wife having sex with another man while the husband usually doesn't if he likes it or not.

[adamgunn 1,460]

I agree with GoldCoCouple. For much more information on the topic(s) you might peruse OurHotwives.org

[asncpl 729]

GoldCoCouple said:

Cuckolding almost always involves humiliation of the husband. Hotwife may or may not involve humiliation of the husband. Minor difference but until stag and vixen becomes a more recognized term hotwife covers everything that involves the wife having sex with another man while the husband usually doesn't if he likes it or not.

I'd also add that hotwife is more about physical sex, but cuckolding explores the emotional and mental aspects, in addition to sex. A hotwife may simply have sex with men other than her husband, but the humiliation and dom/sub role of a cuckold relationship add something more of a mental stimulation.

[Alura 2,774]

My dictionary defines "cuckold" as the husband of an unfaithful wife. It comes from the habit of the cuckoo, a bird who lays her eggs in the nest of other birds, who then feed the chicks. The term doesn't really follow, does it?

 

A "hotwife" is not unfaithful, in that her husband knows about her exploits and encourages them. She does not belittle him, rather, she is careful to tell her husband how much more she prefers him to any other man, but enjoys the excitement and fun of extramarital sex. They usually plan her adventures together.

 

A "cuckold" is a husband who may or may not know about his wife's dalliances (until she tells him) but does not encourage them. In fact, he may resent it very much but endures the situation because of his inner need to be humiliated. She usually belittles him when telling about her actions.

 

There is a big difference.

 

That's my opinion.

[Wornsilver 219]

Alura said:

My dictionary defines "cuckold" as the husband of an unfaithful wife. It comes from the habit of the cuckoo, a bird who lays her eggs in the nest of other birds, who then feed the chicks. The term doesn't really follow, does it?

 

A "hotwife" is not unfaithful, in that her husband knows about her exploits and encourages them. She does not belittle him, rather, she is careful to tell her husband how much more she prefers him to any other man, but enjoys the excitement and fun of extramarital sex. They usually plan her adventures together.

 

A "cuckold" is a husband who may or may not know about his wife's dalliances (until she tells him) but does not encourage them. In fact, he may resent it very much but endures the situation because of his inner need to be humiliated. She usually belittles him when telling about her actions.

 

There is a big difference.

 

That's my opinion.

 

In Chaucer's Canterbury Tales, one of the stories is about an older husband who is betrayed and humiliated by his wife. I haven't looked it up, but I think the term "cuckold" is in that story which is written in Middle English and is difficult to understand without some help. Another theme in the cuckold tradition is humor--the cuckold is usually ridiculed in a manner that is funny to the listener as virtually no one was able to read back then. Now that's a piece of information you can't live without!!

[Alura 2,774]

Wornsilver said:

In Chaucer's Canterbury Tales, one of the stories is about an older husband who is betrayed and humiliated by his wife. I haven't looked it up, but I think the term "cuckold" is in that story which is written in Middle English and is difficult to understand without some help. Another theme in the cuckold tradition is humor--the cuckold is usually ridiculed in a manner that is funny to the listener as virtually no one was able to read back then. Now that's a piece of information you can't live without!!

 

I read Robin Hood in Middle English, Wornsilver. I was only able to do so because I have a huge dictionary which lists Middle English words as well as modern ones. Thanks for adding your knowledge to the discussion!

[PeterJ 940]

I've played with Hot Wife couples. It is its own part of the sexual world, more different from what most folks here define as swinging/lifestyle from a psychological perspective than behavioral. From the latter perspective most HW play resembles what people here think of as an MFM. But mentally it's all about the husband's enjoyment in observing his wife having sex with other men. (And in a healthy HW relationship the wife not only enjoying the sex for its own sake, it also for the erotic value it brings her husband.) The husband may at some point join in the play, but often not. Or at least not until the other male departs, when they engage in reclamation sex.

 

The Cuckold sexual lifestyle is a variant of the broader Hot Wife scene. As others have pointed out, it involves at least some level of humiliation of the husband, sometimes ea by the wife or the male (who the Cuckold world is generally referred to as a Bull) or both. In addition to the verbal "abuse" heaped on the husband, he is often "required" to fluff the Bull before he fucks the wife, and then clean them both up orally following.

 

From the perspective of many of the people who frequent the Swingers Board, the whole HW scene as a form of kink. (The Cuckold scene looks pretty kinky to me.) But then I think that most of my vanilla friends would find my sexual life to be on the kinky side. For sure my loving wife does...) So, I make a point of not judging.

 

For people who are interested in checking out the whole expanse of the HW scene I recommend the Hot Wife Forum: Our Hotwives - Index page

[Courteous1970 172]

Phew!!! I was worried that I could be considered a "cuckold" because I encourage my hot wife to enjoy other men. Humiliation is certainly not my thing.

 

I don't understand the feelings, but watching my wife ride and a suck a dick is one of the most exciting experiences of my life. Seeing him turned on by her, she by him, his dick hard, her pussy dripping wet, their guttural moans and dirty talk and then the joyous climax of both. I am SO glad we tried this a few years ago. It's amazing how it's changed our lives.

[ErikaAndPeter 104]

PeterJ does an excellent job of explaining the distinctions between swinging, hotwifing, and cuckolding. While my husband and I are involved in "traditional" swinging, I am also a hotwife sometimes. He has encouraged me to have sex with other men while he has minimal contact or while he merely watches. I have also had sex with other men alone. In fact, our first lifestyle experience was actually a hotwife experience. Both of us derive emotional pleasure from it. My husband is part of the experience even if he is not there, because he is part of the planning process and I tell him all the details of the encounter at some point afterwards. However, we are not involved in any humiliation or cuckolding.

[cplnluv1 871]

I honestly never heard of any of these terms before. My wife is definitely hot. Can one hot wife a wife with another woman? In the beginning I just wanted to watch my wife with another woman. That want happening. I also figured I would join that fun. When we ended up with a couple I can't say I was excited watching her with the guy, I did when she was with the woman. I didn't look away when she was with him. Since then I guess I do enjoy watching her have fun.

[Numex 2,409]

... But mentally it's all about the husband's enjoyment in observing his wife having sex with other men. (And in a healthy HW relationship the wife not only enjoying the sex for its own sake, it also for the erotic value it brings her husband.) The husband may at some point join in the play, but often not. Or at least not until the other male departs, when they engage in reclamation sex.

 

I'm usually not around when my wife is having sex with a boyfriend.

[GoldCoCouple 4,065]

My wife is definitely hot. Can one hot wife a wife with another woman?

 

Hotwifing usually involves the wife having sex while the husband isn't around (cuckolding the husband usually is around, not allowed to participate, and involves humiliation towards him). If you are not around and she is having sex with another woman, I guess that qualifies!

[M1F2KTJ 473]

Is it perhaps that the hotwife is the woman and the cuckold is the man?

 

The hotwife is the woman and the cuckold is the man. There is a situation described as cuckqueen.

 

In my opinion, a hotwife situation is where the man in a married relationship willing shares his wife with other men and the wife is a willing participant.

 

A cuckold is a man who is powerless from keeping other men from having sex with his wife. She may degrade him for not stopping other men from having sex with her. She may enjoy humiliating her husband by having sex with other men in front of him.

 

A cuckqueen is a woman who is humiliated by her husband having sex with other women in front of her or with her knowing about it.

[yorktownvaguy 76]

I'm usually not around when my wife is having sex with a boyfriend.

 

This is fairly normal too. In many hotwife couples the wife has sex with the bull/boyfriend without the husband present but (1) shares the story of the encouter when she comes home during the reclaim sex, (2) brings home photographs of the encounter, or (3) brings home a cream pie for both to enjoy.

[Numex 2,409]

No mention of a Wittol?

[SW_PA_Couple 4,024]

NudistSwungers said:

Way way back in 2005 when we had a SLS membership. They had a great glossary index explaining swinger terms, we referred to it often in the beginning. It was alphabetical and well put together.

 

Google is a good resource, as was ask Jeeves at one time. But for swinger related terms and definitions there's nothing better then a swinger site for answers.

 

I want all y'all to know that Swingersboard also has a glossary (called dictionary here).

[Sliderr 20]

Wornsilver said:

In Chaucer's Canterbury Tales, one of the stories is about an older husband who is betrayed and humiliated by his wife. I haven't looked it up, but I think the term "cuckold" is in that story which is written in Middle English and is difficult to understand without some help. Another theme in the cuckold tradition is humor--the cuckold is usually ridiculed in a manner that is funny to the listener as virtually no one was able to read back then. Now that's a piece of information you can't live without!!

We definitely hot wife I love watching my beautiful bride with another guys cock in your mouth and her pussy and I always know what I’m watching in person this song she sent me pictures and she does wear an anklet that says white and it has worked one time at a bar and it was pretty hot and I backed off as they danced and fondled one another he fingered her. He was a really big guy have sex for 250 and he actually picked her up she wrapped her legs around him we ended up going back to our house they had sex and I watched and took pictures for an hour and I ate cum out of her pussy and then fucked her.

[NWAtlSwing 522]

I love seeing her in action, and she loves seeing me in action.

[JessicaJamison 861]

On 9/12/2017 at 11:04 AM, MarniJohn said:

I am curious about what the difference is between hotwifing and cuckolding. I can't seem to find anything that really makes the difference between the two. Is it perhaps that the hotwife is the woman and the cuckold is the man?

My take on this is in the definition, Cuckold is an old term, that refers to a man who has been cheated on.  Cuckolding in recent years has become its own fettish, it involves a man who's wife cheats on him and uses it to humiliate him.  The cuckold has no choice and may have given consent to the wife to treat him like this or may not have given consent at all and his wife is in complete control.  Sometimes the Cuck no longer gets to have sex with his wife as she prefers others.  In my mind it is too mean and cruel.  

 

A Hotwife is different, her husband gives permission for his wife to explore her sexuality and have sex with others, with the intention of giving the husband all the dirty details.  As a Hotwife I do not ever degrade my husband I instead celebrate my sexuallity and share it with others and my husband.  

[Fitlakecouple 451]

1 hour ago, JessicaJamison said:

My take on this is in the definition, Cuckold is an old term, that refers to a man who has been cheated on.  Cuckolding in recent years has become its own fettish, it involves a man who's wife cheats on him and uses it to humiliate him.  The cuckold has no choice and may have given consent to the wife to treat him like this or may not have given consent at all and his wife is in complete control.  Sometimes the Cuck no longer gets to have sex with his wife as she prefers others.  In my mind it is too mean and cruel.  

 

A Hotwife is different, her husband gives permission for his wife to explore her sexuality and have sex with others, with the intention of giving the husband all the dirty details.  As a Hotwife I do not ever degrade my husband I instead celebrate my sexuallity and share it with others and my husband.  

Agree somewhat, but in swinging play - a cuckold has agreed to his role and the (accompanying) humiliation. The humiliation is his "kink" and the wife is not necessarily cheating. I think of it as hotwife with humiliation on the side. As with many terms - their meaning can shift -depending upon the context.