Do you respond if not interested?

[Erik13 157]

We always politely say no when a couple we aren't interested in messages us. A lot of our messages go unanswered. What is the general opinion...don't respond or nicely say no thank you?

[padoc 1,701]

We respond to those profiles and introductory emails that pique our interests. We clearly state our interests and our ages and we openly post representative and hopefully titillating public photos. If we're contacted by people who obviously failed to read our profile or who do not meet our criteria such as age or HWP (HWP is NOT 5'2" 235 lbs)we simply delete. No answer IS an answer.

[BuiltForSin 66]

It depends. If the message is basically "Sup?" or something similar then no.. Otherwise sure.

[Erik13 157]

We respond to those profiles and introductory emails that pique our interests. We clearly state our interests and our ages and we openly post representative and hopefully titillating public photos. If we're contacted by people who obviously failed to read our profile or who do not meet our criteria such as age or HWP (HWP is NOT 5'2" 235 lbs)we simply delete. No answer IS an answer.

 

what if they write a thought out, nice message, but you just don't find them attractive?

[padoc 1,701]

The above is not a firm and inviolable rule but it is the practice that we generally follow. There have been exceptions, infrequently. We've found that couples who read and comprehend our profile and then choose to contact us tend to write well thought out and nice messages, as do we. In the event that we send a message and don't get an encouraging response within a reasonable time, we take that as a "not interested" and move on. We don't need to know why, not interested is not interested.

[njbm 2,860]

We generally respond. If negative, we say we are not a match. We do not want to hurt people's feelings. If people put themselves out there by asking us, they deserve a response.

 

However, plenty of people do not respond to us. It is the most likely response.

[Guest]

We don’t respond to the numerous invites we get from single males,typically a one liner with no photo. Thoughtful or more sincere sounding notes from couples, with photos, we usually respond to.

[2NoLimit 95]

We will always try to be responsive. The only exception is one liners. If we send you an email and we don't get a reply within a time frame we will block that profile as to not bother them again, and we have a record of who we tried to contact with no interest.

[GoldCoCouple 4,063]

Single men do not get an answer (we say that we are not interested in single men so please don't ask). Other than that, unfortunately what njbm said is accurate:

 

We generally respond. If negative, we say we are not a match. We do not want to hurt people's feelings. If people put themselves out there by asking us, they deserve a response.

 

However, plenty of people do not respond to us. It is the most likely response.

[Guest]

No is the simple answer.

 

I find if your not interested and you answer even once it means they send you another 3 or 4 messages trying to convince you they are great

[SAMnTINA 362]

We always respond, you never know when you are going to end up meeting someone at a party out in the real world they may be friends of friends it never hurts to be nice. As to people not reading profile of being what we are looking for we each see our self's in our own way so just because someone is not what we are looking for does not mean that they don't see them selfs as what we are looking for. Over the years we have learned that you never know about anyone untill you know them. Sometimes those we though would be hot from their profile or email are not and those who we thought were not turn out to be WOW.

[GoldCoCouple 4,063]

I find if your not interested and you answer even once it means they send you another 3 or 4 messages trying to convince you they are great

 

One "no thank you" then no more responses.

 

it never hurts to be nice

 

Our thoughts exactly. However every once in a while it does hurt, but the risk is worth it.

[cplnluv1 861]

I know we haven't always gotten responses. We just figured they were picture collectors. I don't respond if we aren't interested. I can be too blunt. The wife has more tact than me.

[Scaredstiff 129]

No is the simple answer.

 

I find if your not interested and you answer even once it means they send you another 3 or 4 messages trying to convince you they are great

 

We find this too, and I think we use the same site as you, however we do respond to well written messages, though sometimes it does seem to open a can of worms. One pet hate we have is profiles without any pics or write up messaging us asking if we would like to meet, so annoying, we leave those unanswered , in our site rules it even states that no reply should be taken as "No thankyou"

[Guest]

To be honest we get loads of messages we never bother answering, those messages would include things like:

 

 

The classic rude one liners:

 

"Does your wife take it up the ass?"

 

"I'll pay cash to fuck your wife?"

 

"Do you want to swallow my load?"

 

"I'd love to smash her pussy?"

 

"You wanna fuck whilst I'm dressed as a women?"

 

"Will you fuck me whilst I wear my wife's knickers?"

 

"You free for a banging tonight?"

 

"I know my profile says straight but I can pretend to be bisexual if I get to bone her?"

 

"I want to suck your wife's ass hole?"

 

YEAH such messages just get ignored, if we answered them we would be forever bogged down by rude idiots wanting their daily "Masturbation Messages" the type of guys who looks a couples pictures and fire off rude sexual messages whilst they sit their masturbating.

 

 

OTHER EXAMPLES OF MESSAGES WE DON'T ANSWER AT ALL WOULD BE:

 

 

- When the person is about 40 years older than us.

 

- When the person lives hundreds if not thousands of miles away from us.

 

- When the person is totally filthy / unclean, for example their body doesn't look clean, their clothes / bedroom look really unclean.

 

- When they look like they could be a violent person.

 

- When they ask to fuck us whilst their high as a kite on cocaine.

 

- When they messages asking us to take part in heavy fetish behaviour like pissing, shoe sniffing, gimp suits, ect.

 

- When they seem pushy, nasty, aggressive, moody, mentally unstable.

 

- When they have a 1000 verification reviews and have slept with 90% of the website.

 

- When they are cheating and want us to risk our lives been the dirty little secret, affair sex objects.

 

- When they are just not appealing to us whatsoever.

 

- When they have clearly not read any of our profile at all.

 

- If they post loads of pictures of everyone they play with probably without the persons consent.

 

 

There are loads of reasons why we wouldn't bother answering a message and like stated in my original post if you do answer such messages you generally end up in a 3 or 4 messages conversation with that person wanting to know why your not interested or trying to convince you that you are interested or would not have messaged back in the first place.

[Erik13 157]

Those are some good ones...I'm kind of jealous lol

[M1F2KTJ 473]

We, I, don't respond. No matter what you say some people don't handle rejection very rationally. It's best not to respond. If they angrily and persistently demand a response then you know you made a wise decision.

[Jane1902 476]

I recently recieved an intro email explaining why I should play bareback with him. I bothered to reply my profile clearly states safe play only and am never interested in anyone who would suggets otherwise (I take this as a sign of lack of respecting my boundaries, another man is on my forever pass list for being "condom optional" without asking or prior discussion- I had to tell him glove up). He replied trying to convince me why this was a good idea. He is now blocked. No reply is a no, so I won't waste my time again. Just because we are on the same site doesn't mean I want to fuck you. It's called a mutual agreement.

[shy_couple 458]

We try to respond to all interest. Yes it is difficult to respond to those who say hello. Then we are left with do we say hello back or not interested. Usually someone will get their feelings hurt and say, I was only saying hello... We use the SLS generic no thanks a lot. For the ride, crude or aggressive (mostly single men) we just say "block you" and end it.

[3waypleasure 58]

If a someone sends us a genuine, well thought out email that indicates they have read our profile interested in meeting, we always respond.

 

If it looks like a generic email they send to many couples, we do not usually respond.

 

I really suggest if you want responses, read the profile, pick out things you identify with and put that in the email. Take the time and make it personal. Templates or mass mailing seldom work.

[Fundamental Law 2,882]

If a someone sends us a genuine, well thought out email that indicates they have read our profile interested in meeting, we always respond.

 

 

We agree. There is an old adage that as humans we tend to overestimate significance of change in the short run, underestimate it in the long run. A consistent behavior of respectful response -- in the vanilla and LS worlds -- builds a reputation for the "kind of people we would like to get to know". It takes little effort to say thank you for writing, thank you for your interest and either "no thanks" or "perhaps our paths will cross".

 

The reciprocal is also true and perhaps even more important. When we have written, received a graceful "no thanks", we always respond with a "thank you for taking the time to respond, best wishes etc." People seem to remember that, and it is remarkable how often they (eventually) write back with an expression of interest. We think this is because SLS makes the prior conversation easy to review. A first impression of grace, wit, and style endures.

[DjRayder 43]

Yes as a courtesy especially those that are sincere and have read what you two wrote.There's many reasons why some couples don't reply being they found a couple already,change of mind or just plain ignorance.Remember there are many flakes in this lifestyle too.Those that are afraid to take the leap.

[JustAskJulie 2,595]

I've taken the approach of I give what I'm given. If I feel like someone has put some effort into their profile and message to me and I'm not interested I will respond back politely and let them know. If I feel like they've put in no effort (their profile is basically empty or their message is empty or obviously canned) I don't respond back.

[Erik13 157]

How about this one...we sent messages to three different people over the last couple days. They're still sitting there unread but the people have been online everyday.

Who goes on sls and doesn't read their mail?

[njbm 2,860]

People read the mail, but they don’t open the letter. That way it says unread, but they read it.

[SW_PA_Couple 4,023]

Who goes on sls and doesn't read their mail?

I do. I often open SLS to see, for example, if one of the SLS groups to which I belong has posted information about a new event. If I do not read the mail, the next time I go to SLS I will see the little pigeon carrying his letter and it will remind me that there is mail that I have not yet read. Believe me. When you arrive at my age, you need reminders.

[Mr and Mrs W540 19]

How about this one...we sent messages to three different people over the last couple days. They're still sitting there unread but the people have been online everyday.

Who goes on sls and doesn't read their mail?

 

I hate that. I think SLS should change it to once it's viewed, it is read.

[IntoTheNew 24]

What gets me are the people who contact US, email US with their interest, unlock their pictures, and then radio silence after we say we reciprocate their interest. Maybe SLS could replace the little birdie with a cricket...

[PeeTWheatstraw 122]

I appreciate all of you sharing your responses. Gives me some insight on why so many people don't respond to my emails. I have always responded to all messages even when I am not interested in someone. Have made some good friends over the years and some of them started off as emails messages that were not well composed. Maybe my stats of 5'9" and 250 lbs is not deemed to be HWP but I can respect that everyone is entitled to their opinion.

[Erik13 157]

People read the mail, but they don’t open the letter. That way it says unread, but they read it.

 

I didn't know that. Thank you!

[SJBluebirds 194]

To be honest we get loads of messages we never bother answering, those messages would include things like:

 

The classic rude one liners:

 

...

 

YEAH such messages just get ignored, if we answered them we would be forever bogged down by rude idiots wanting their daily "Masturbation Messages" the type of guys who looks a couples pictures and fire off rude sexual messages whilst they sit their masturbating.

 

OTHER EXAMPLES OF MESSAGES WE DON'T ANSWER AT ALL WOULD BE:

 

....

 

There are loads of reasons why we wouldn't bother answering a message and like stated in my original post if you do answer such messages you generally end up in a 3 or 4 messages conversation with that person wanting to know why your not interested or trying to convince you that you are interested or would not have messaged back in the first place.

 

Holy cow! Multiple People actually respond to your profile? We were under the impression (through experience) that hardly anyone responds to our profile. We get maybe two or three contacts a year.

 

We thought we were weird for contacting other couples based on their profiles!

[SW_PA_Couple 4,023]

We have made some unexpected discoveries by not opening or answering an SLS message right away. Example: a single day after receiving an initial message, we get another, "Hey, WTF? We sent you a message and you never replied!" Well, such impatience tells us everything we need to know regarding whether or not these people or this person would be a good prospect.

[Erik13 157]

I appreciate all of you sharing your responses. Gives me some insight on why so many people don't respond to my emails. I have always responded to all messages even when I am not interested in someone. Have made some good friends over the years and some of them started off as emails messages that were not well composed. Maybe my stats of 5'9" and 250 lbs is not deemed to be HWP but I can respect that everyone is entitled to their opinion.

 

We actually got a response today that read " sorry but we are looking for HWP. Good luck!" Wouldn't just saying "we're not a match" be a little more polite?

Maybe I need thicker skin!

[SW_PA_Couple 4,023]

. . . Maybe I need thicker skin!

Let us hope this this people who casually hurl insults does not desensitize us.

[njbm 2,860]

I think there are a lot of people (more often males)who scour SLS, make contact, offer to meet who then get shot down by their spouse.

 

We find that even among people we meet on SLS, we rarely wind up playing.

 

Starting to favor lifestyle vacations. Our online activities: a lot of effort, Little result.

[njbm 2,860]

We commonly get responses from the husband that he would play with my wife, but their wife is not interested in me. Has happened at least three times. I am Hwp and above average looking. A little jarring.

[Judy39 145]

What's hwp, sorry?

[njbm 2,860]

Height weight proportionate. As opposed to BBW, big, beautiful woman, a preference of some. And BBC, big black cock, which I think depersonalizes black men.

[Erik13 157]

I think there are a lot of people (more often males)who scour SLS, make contact, offer to meet who then get shot down by their spouse.

 

 

This has happened to us several times on SLS. Sad to say but we've had better luck on Craigslist.

[njbm 2,860]

We have never looked on Craigslist. I think that some dates from Craigslist do turn up missing!?

[wildones8474 21]

I generally respond to honest couples that sent a message and seemed to have read about us. I give an honest reason unless the truth may be rude or hurtful.

 

When we were on more sites we would get a ton of single men that obviously didn't read up on us and just wants an exotic fuck. Those just got deleted with no response.

 

And I never never let my husband do the searching. He'll see a couple and only really check out the wife. She'll be some hot number and her husband makes Stephen Hawking look like George Clooney and he won't notice. Thanks babe

[njbm 2,860]

I do try to do some scouting for my wife, but what attracts her eludes me (Clooney over Hawking, though). However, a lot of sites only post pix of the wife and not the husband.

[SJBluebirds 194]

Interesting to see this thread get resurrected - We might add to the discussion, again, noting that we're just so grateful to get a response -- ANY response or interest! -- to our profile, that OF COURSE we'll reply, even if not interested.

[yorktownvaguy 76]

As an older and I think respectful single male I really appreciate the people sending me a simple answer; even when it is a rejection. We live in such an uncivil society nowadays that a bit of courtesy goes a long way.

[Jane1902 476]

If I send a polite decline to a single guy it is often taken as an invitation to ask why not and continue to convince me I am making a mistake. Then I am even more sure I didn't.

[GoldCoCouple 4,063]

Since we are not interested in single guys and have it in our profile, if a single guy does send us an email, we feel it is okay not to respond since we specifically asked for single guys not to contact us. Doesn't matter how nice they are, they weren't invited to our party.

[Ayarosez 15]

No I don't respond if I'm not interested, because 9 times out of 10 my simple "No thank you" will be replied with rudeness.

[Chris&Suzanne 204]

I always respond. It is being polite. Never had any bad follow-ups.

[Aikibobby 51]

We did with a form type email. Thanking them for their interest and telling them we will hold on to their email. Which is true, we won’t delete it. We just ain’t interested now.