Impatience-what a turnoff

[IntoTheNew 24]

Sure, it's nice to have interest. Yes, I'm glad you liked our profile. I say, hey, we're interested, just need to find time to get together and Kik with y'all. We get together last night and do that, they don't answer, and then this morning I've got five messages... Hello? So you guys are new?You there? Hello? Oh well.... Never mind...

 

Jeez. In less than 12 hours I went from interested to cold... Because of a little impatience.

 

Just a rant, really.

[GoldCoCouple 4,065]

Just like some people take too long to meet, others (usually noobies with too much excitement starting out) have too little patience. This is a HOBBY and just about everything else comes before it (as far as we are concerned). If it happens, it happens. It isn't the center point of our lives and there's always another couple coming along...

[3waypleasure 58]

I emailed a couple my wife's kik Id at 10 pm. The next morning there were 5 messages, then a long nasty message cussing her out because she didn't respond.

 

My wife is far too nice and took the time to explain that people work, sleep, have kids, and very busy lives. She also explained that she doesn't have notifications turned on kik, and only checks kik once a day. She also informed them we only get out maybe once a month, so meeting us can take awhile.

 

She got another nasty response back. So we just blocked them on both kik and SLS.

 

It seems there are people that just don't understand life. There are many couples like us where swinging is a very low priority, and we respond only when we have extra time, which may be the weekend or even the following week. People also seem to be offended when you say lets meet and then give a date 3 weeks or a month from now. Seriously, if that doesn't work, our next time to meet will probably be after the new year.

 

If you are impatient or get offended, you will miss many of the "real" couples that do actually meet.

[JustAskJulie 2,595]

I think some people don't understand the difference between a mail program and a chat program... I know we've seen it here even, where people come to the forum thinking it's a chat program and someone should answer instantly. That said, if someone texted me that way they'd drive me away (even if they'd been chatting with me for a while). I ain't got time for that.

[Twilighttap 168]

Something weird about people who get angry when their instant gratification isn’t satisfied. By you. 

[lcmim 1,081]

One thing that does come into play, and does not include any real impatience or rudeness, is that it IS awfully difficult to have a conversation of any type that has day or week long pauses. 

 

[enhancer 1,584]

Impatient people get no where with us!  Hate to tell you, but no one is more important than my spouse, my family, my job, my hobbies and my real life friends that are there for me all the time.  We are not looking for a new long term relationship or new best friends.  Most of the time it is going to be a one off.  It can take a bit of time before both of us get a chance to sit down together and look at messages and profiles.  There is no point in answering before both of us are in the loop, because we are always a team.  Needy is not sexy.

[NYirCPL 38]

A few years ago a very attractive couple had reached out to us to hang out immediately (like the next night) which we could not do due to busy schedules--then they proposed a couple of days later which was also too short of notice for our busy lives.  We were a bit turned off by the impatience and they seemed to lose interest--likely deeming us flakes.

 

Fast forward a couple of years and we are at a house party in another state and we are drawn to an amazing couple.  They are super attractive, charismatic and just oozing sex appeal--we are very interested.   Then they bring up to us "you don't recognize us do you?"  and proceed to tell us we had been chatting before on SLS and it clicks, lol.

 

Long story short, we love this couple!  We've vacationed together and they have introduced us to their core group of amazing friends.   They are also extremely understanding of our ridiculous schedules and haven't given up on us, always making us feel invited whenever they plan something.

 

I guess the moral of the story is that it can be hard to really interpret personality traits from a couple of quick texts and 'mis-reads' can go both ways.

[24fun4u 8]

  I only ask this question because I have seen so many responses about the opposite situation were people never meet. So, at what point, patient people, does the impatient people feel they are being strung along by people who are "too busy" but actually don't have any interest in meeting all together? Or, if the impatient people are making an effort to keep days open for the patient people, to allow for the patient people to be able to meet ("Hey, guess what, we have an unexpected free Saturday just happen"  type of situation)?

  Everybody gets to determine when they are ready, but if we have to wait 3-4 months to meet, we're going to "move on". That doesn't mean we wont talk to you, contact you, or be rude. Heavens no! But, we will alter our focus and attention on others who are interested in meeting sooner. They will take priority. The amount of times we've heard "we want to meet" (3, 4, 5, 6, 7 months, etc), to actually meeting these people is staggering. We are patient, and understanding about things. One of us has a "seasonal" job, when they are super busy during the first quarter of the year. Time, is EXTREMELY precious during this period, so we maybe less then "patient" during this time, but, nobody's patience is endless.

[hunterdonNJcpl 1,383]

2 hours ago, 24fun4u said:

So, at what point, patient people, does the impatient people feel they are being strung along by people who are "too busy" but actually don't have any interest in meeting all together?

I think it's wise to have multiple prospects going at any given time bc usually one out of four or so will pan out. If we get along online but can't make our calendars work then just move on and maybe things will come together in a few weeks or months or whatever, but don't take it personally and don't be pushy or rude about it.  Plenty of fish in this ocean.