Wife's interest is cyclic

[Newfreaksaz 17]

Hey everyone,

The wife and I have been experimenting in the lifestyle for the past year and a half. over the last year we have had a MFM and a soft swap with a couple. As schedules began to get harder to corrdinate, we decided to play separately. She has since had a few play sessions while I was at work. We found it super sexy, and had great sex after. We have tried to meet with couples, but haven't found the couple that we both like. Now, she says she's not interested. She did this around the new year too. She has an experience and then retracts back to not being interested. She says that it's because of body image issues, but I assure her that I'm still 100% attracted to her.

Is this cyclic interest common with females/couples in the lifestyle?

[ViSexual 1,008]

I don't know about others but my wife was the same way. Our first time was when a couple seduced us. My wife had been attracted to the husband for some time and she was with him before his wife and I joined. In other words, her idea. Later she said she was drunk. OK? After that we swapped with four other couples over a two year period until she said she just didn't want to do it anymore.

 

Then about 20 years later we delved again and she enjoyed it but, again, after a year or two she lost interest again.

[njbm 2,879]

Doesn't everyone's interest wax and wane? After a few bad experiences, a few rejections, etc., everyone has to wonder if it's worth the trouble.

[JandKinBoise 858]

I have to agree with njbm. Once there is a lack of excitement, it's best to put it on hold. Even group sex can become monotonous. I was guilty of overloading us, instead of letting the excitement build. The result was what I thought was impossible, burnout.

[GoldCoCouple 4,066]

Ask her...if you can't talk to her about anything and trust what she says then you need to improve your communication. It could just be that she has lost interest, had a bad experience, or something else but the only way to really find out is to talk with her and then try to address what her problem is (if this is what she wants done). Maybe she just wants to spend more time with just you...

[Scaredstiff 129]

We have experienced this , the lack of interest being from both of us but at different times, we had a talk about it and it seems we both find the vetting and planning a bit of a turn off, so many explored avenues end up being a dead end we've started to spot the signs of a flaky couple earlier , we both came to the conclusion that when it was spontaneous it was much better , we are still searching for what really works for us though, we find club visits have the spontaneity we're looking for but not the slow sensual build up we crave, we haven't tried a house party yet , maybe that will be our thing

[Guest]

After we had that first experience, I was just so excited by the whole thing that we were doing something at least once a month, often times more frequently. After a year and a half, we slowed down and now it’s more of something when do no weekends away and on vacations.

[Numex 2,420]

My wife's sexual appetite is fairly steady, and high. What changes is what she desires, like one guy, multiple guys, a woman, a couple. I'm happy just going along for the ride.

[3waypleasure 58]

It used to be a thrill being with a new couple, but after doing it for years "new" isn't that exciting anymore. Sure the wife enjoys multiple men, but even that has been done so often, it is just normal sex to her. We used to be in and out of the lifestyle often, just due to boredom with it.

 

For us, it has migrated to being more of a social activity and very little about the sex. If we have sex with others that's cool, but not a high priority.

 

We have always great sex together. So if it is just sex we want, why waste the time and energy to have OK sex with others, when you can stay at home and have great sex?

[Numex 2,420]

We have always great sex together. So if it is just sex we want, why waste the time and energy to have OK sex with others, when you can stay at home and have great sex?

 

Same as you, we have great sex together. Unlike you, sex with different people is a real turn on for us because it's different.

[3waypleasure 58]

Same as you, we have great sex together. Unlike you, sex with different people is a real turn on for us because it's different.

I agree that being with someone new adds to the sexual experience, but if you do anything enough it is no longer 'new' and doesn't generate the same excitement. Kind of like buying the first few new cars is exciting, but after you have done it 100 times it just another car.

 

The truly best sessions for her are gang bangs or multiple men, more of a tag team with a group of very well hung men where she gets pounded hard and long for hours on end.

 

Most of the swinging we do with couples our age (50) I would call "social sex" and not an athletic/hard pounding marathon type of sex that me and my wife enjoy. It's rare that we find a couple that the guy can give her a good long pounding, and many of the women don't enjoy the type of pounding I like to give.

 

It is still exciting for us to be with new people, but is is more of a foreplay for the real sex event when we get home.

[Numex 2,420]

I agree that being with someone new adds to the sexual experience, but if you do anything enough it is no longer 'new' and doesn't generate the same excitement.

 

I guess the newness hasn't worn off for us yet, even with the same circle of partners. These are all people who we care about, so the joy remains every time one of us fucks with another.

[3waypleasure 58]

I guess the newness hasn't worn off for us yet, even with the same circle of partners. These are all people who we care about, so the joy remains every time one of us fucks with another.

A big difference for us is we don't have a circle of partners. We limit ourselves to being with others to a couple times at most.

 

We try to avoid feelings or any emotional connections. Knowing someone well enough to "care for them" is beyond what we are in this for.

[luvin eye full 140]

Hey everyone,

The wife and I have been experimenting in the lifestyle for the past year and a half. over the last year we have had a MFM and a soft swap with a couple. As schedules began to get harder to corrdinate, we decided to play separately. She has since had a few play sessions while I was at work. We found it super sexy, and had great sex after. We have tried to meet with couples, but haven't found the couple that we both like. Now, she says she's not interested. She did this around the new year too. She has an experience and then retracts back to not being interested. She says that it's because of body image issues, but I assure her that I'm still 100% attracted to her.

Is this cyclic interest common with females/couples in the lifestyle?

 

Hi

 

So does she still go out by herself? and when you want to do couples she says not interested in the whole thing anymore?

 

I don't know but the way the post is i'd say there is something about her not wanting to have you there- and if so why, now i could be that she feels some what hesitant while your around for many different reasons.

 

Just stop and fix what the problem 1st what ever it maybe and remember you may never do this again but you will have a great wife that gave it a go and the memories of those times - more then a lot of folks ever get!