Finding it hard to play separate

[Newfreaksaz 17]

This spring, my wife and I decided that we could play separately. She is definitely a 10 in the looks department, and I am lucky to be considered a 7. So, obviously she found it easy to find a guy to play with, and I have not. I have tried finding girls on tinder, SLS, and a few other sites. No luck! Should I just reside to the fact that I'm not going to find someone? Seems women are not that likely to play with a married guy in the way guys are willing to play with married women.

[SW_PA_Couple 4,026]

This matches my experience. Swing web sites are not the way to find willing women. Private parties are the way. Many of these same swing web sites have party groups that you can join to find dates and locations. Meet-n-greet events are a good way too.

[GoldCoCouple 4,068]

Finding single women in the L/S is HARD, finding women who are looking to play alone makes finding a unicorn easy. This is why couples play with other couples. Each couple comes with a man AND a woman. I would suggest going back to playing together and you should have more success...

[asncpl 730]

When it comes to playing separately, we usually play with the same couples that we have played together, but only "separately" such as different rooms or different locations. Playing separating changes the dynamics quite a bit, and I think you may find it different and fun even though you may have played with that person in a couple setting.

[Sophy 571]

Last month we had our first hall pass, first ever in 8 year swinging, very rare occasion but it did not disappoint.

 

It was with a coworker which I worked for about 3 years and we always had certain chemistry, I enjoyed flirting with him in the office and come back to my husband and tell him about it, in fact my husband had been OK with the idea of my having sex in private with him for a long time probably more than 2 years when we first discuss it.

 

We planned everything with my husband and all went more or less as planned:

 

I organized drinks with him after the office and I made sure my (unspoken) intentions were clear, he got it and he gave his wife some excuse for late commitments.

 

After only one drink (LOL) we left the pub and we went to a room that I previously booked.

 

We had a very good session of three hours or so, we left out all that we were holding during all these time working together, a lot of dirty talking, he telling me about all the times he wanted my in the office, how I was dressed, etc.

 

It was definitely very special, he is a man with family and very serious and responsible, no need of condoms or any extra security precautions. I texted my husband and updated him several times, I felt safe with someone I trusted.

[Jane1902 476]

Sophy - I am curious if the other wife was aware of the plan?

[Sophy 571]

No, she was not,and he was not aware that my husband was part of it.

 

This is not the first time we engaged with married man, we have had threesomes were the man was clearly lying to his wife/partner.

 

We do not ask or care much about it, that is their problem, all of them are grown man, adults, we are no one to judge them or question them more than necessary.

[cplnuswing 4,713]

This matches my experience. Swing web sites are not the way to find willing women. Private parties are the way. Many of these same swing web sites have party groups that you can join to find dates and locations. Meet-n-greet events are a good way too.

 

This is really good advice learned from experience. We do play separately on occasion, but only with a couple we have a strong relationship and history with. I think many swingers are like us and see playing separately as kind of advanced level stuff and is only reserved for those you trust the very most. It's hard to trust someone that you just met online. Even if you met them online at first, then once there is some face to face history there, that is when the trust comes. Same as meeting someone at a party or meet and greet. You've talked to them in person and they are part of the same network you are since you both are at the same events, so trust comes much quicker.

[Sexykitty6364 38]

My husband and I play separately all of the time, at parties and on dates. I have a BF as well who I have spent the night with. (Yes, his wife knew. We do not condone lying and do not want any part of it) We do not do the club scene nor do we ind people online. The couples we meet we meet at parties, meet and greets, and through friends. We get to know people before playing as well as finding out who they know and "vetting" them a bit before playing. I am sure they probably do the same with us. My husband has no problem finding partners and plays a lot more than I do.

[GMOFLEISURE 221]

I suspect this is why I meet so many couples with a husband who is willing to have oral sex with me. The wife gets a man & the husband gets sex as well. Otherwise he'd be home on the web looking while she is getting off.