Wink, says so much & so little

[1XcellentXtra4U 29]

There's a couple I see already once a week at work. They are regulars at my job and they enjoy my cooking. We have spoken a lot and I've had friendly vibe with them for a long time.

She gave me a wink. While he and I were talking about something I glanced at her and she returned the wink. Next time they were in on her way to the bathroom she stopped and hugged me. Thanked me forI've read that couples will be on the lookout for fun and the wife will subtly flirt. always taking care of them.

The wink and the hug...possible swingers looking for a third?

[GoldCoCouple 4,066]

Not necessarily. This is dangerous ground since they are regulars at your work. It is usually not a good idea to swing with people you know from work or the neighborhood. If something goes bad, it is very likely that it will get around to either your co-workers and/or friends. Especially since they just may just might be really thankful for what you have helped them with. IMHO, the risk/reward isn't there. If you REALLY want to move forward in spite of the warning, then take the woman aside and ask her about the flirting/wink/hug/etc and see what she has to say. Still, the chances you are taking, especially since it involves your job, are bigger than we would be willing to risk. Find another couple that you KNOW are swingers instead of one that you hope might be (but probably aren't).

[1XcellentXtra4U 29]

Was not at the point of actually considering it a possibility. Truthfully I was wondering to find out if my intuition was correct. Let's forget about everything and just look at the wink I got from one of them. The Mrs. Gave me a very direct wink... Thoughts?

I AM NOT CONSIDERING PURSING HER AT ALL... only curios about her wink. Actually, winks my whole life have always been a curve ball.

[kikonkrome 844]

I doubt they are swingers. Some people, especially some women, are constantly really flirty. When you are a swinger you are thinking a lot differently than they are. That's my experience at least.

[GoldCoCouple 4,066]

As in most situations, the one thing that people are afraid to do is ASK. If it happens again, walk up to her and say something like 'are you trying to flirt with me? And in front of your husband no less...'. Kind of said in a joking manor and it isn't going to be taken as a bad thing. More than likely, she was just being flirty or she was trying to get you to cook up something special (I'm referring to food here). Nothing wrong with being nice, fun, and flirty with other nice, fun, flirty people. The world could use more of them.

[Fundamental Law 2,885]

As in most situations, the one thing that people are afraid to do is ASK.

 

We agree wholeheartedly. Life is too short for ambiguity in this situation. Yes, she might just be flirty. Yes, she might be sending a signal. Find a low-key way to sort it out.

 

An admission: as the male half of our couple, I was chagrined to learn (from the female half) how often I have failed to pick up on flirts, overtures, or what amounts to clear 'invitations to the dance'. I do not think I am especially insensitive. I mention this only to say that by the time you noticed the first wink, the message might have already been sent a few (dozen) times.

 

As Mrs. FL remarks, often the easiest way to get through to me is "A. Show up naked. B. Bring beer. C. The beer is optional. "

[1XcellentXtra4U 29]

More than likely, she was just being flirty or she was trying to get you to cook up something special (I'm referring to food here). Nothing wrong with being nice, fun, and flirty with other nice, fun, flirty people. The world could use more of them.

 

Very good perspective...

[1XcellentXtra4U 29]

I mention this only to say that by the time you noticed the first wink, the message might have already been sent a few (dozen) times.

I smell what you're stepping in... Man, I know! At least you're married it's a frustrating, passive aggressive , indecisive and over analyzed world singles live in.