A wakeup call

[Fundamental Law 2,882]

Twice this week, nudist friends who are not swingers expressed resentment that swingers have "invaded", "taken over", "annexed" their clubs.

 

Their dismay is valid: in both instances the club operators made a decision to welcome swingers as an alternative to financial collapse. One way to look at this is to assert that swingers "saved" these clubs. Another way to look at this is to observe that one alternative lifestyle is simply displacing another, and nudists are in danger of extinction. Neither image is attractive. In any event, simple social nudity is imperiled. There are a couple of things lifestylers can--and probably should --do to support our nudist friends.

 

First, when on the grounds of these formerly-nudist-now-mixed clubs, give the non-swinger nudists a measure of respect. Many joined those clubs because it was family- safe, not sexually liberated. Their values might be different.

 

Second, and maybe more important, it may be worthwhile supporting their efforts to be clothes-free elsewhere, such as on public lands, beaches, state parks and so on.

 

According our nudist friends a measure of respect costs nothing. Having them think kindly of swingers may be valuable as various alternative lifestyles fall under political and religious siege.

[cplnuswing 4,712]

I totally agree with the we must stand together or we shall surely fall separately approach when it comes to alternative lifestyles. And, financial realities can lead to a lot of disappointment to when a resort, vanilla campground, little Mom and Pop restaurant down the street, or any other place/business that you have patronized for years and have many fond memories of closes or changes into something different than what you had been accustomed to for so long.

 

On the issue of the nudist vs swingers at the clubs, I don't know the specifics but I wonder if the club owner doesn't bear some of the responsibility in this situation? If they aren't clearly stating what their venue is all about now, then that's going to cause problems because by trying to walk the fence, you've made everybody mad...the swingers are feeling throttled back on their swinging, and the nudists are saying it's not throttled back nearly enough to none. Until the expectations are clearly defined for everyone, then it's going to be impossible to meet expectations since nobody knows for sure what they are to start with and so they fill in that blank themselves. By being left in a vacuum they can only judge solely upon what they WANT it to be, not how they were TOLD it would be, and that's not a good recipe for happy customers.

[padoc 1,701]

Respect is a 2 way street. We were at Caliente in 2008 or 09. The place is a formally nudist colony/resort that the recession nearly killed to the point where the ownership (as we understand it) felt compelled to open the place to swingers in particular because swingers tend to spend money. We had been warned by friends that there was some hostility towards swingers among some of the long time members of the place. We had a pleasant day Friday and Saturday, we spent most of the afternoon at the pool (nude is a requirement) next to an attractive and chatty couple a few years older than us. We had lunch and drinks over several hours with them and were enjoying their company to the extent that Mrs Doc, after giving me that look invited them to take the party back to our room. We were VERY surprised that they were not only not interested but were incredibly offended that we suggested it. You'd have thought that Mrs Doc offered to bbq their cat for dinner. Anyway, they gathered their stuff and left the pool. We saw them later that evening in one of the common areas and Mrs Doc, being the nicer of the two of us approached the wife to apologize for misunderstanding, they turned their backs and totally ignored her. I guess we should have paid more attention to our friends warning.

[Fundamental Law 2,882]

Your point is well taken. The situation could have been avoided if, for example, there were color coded bracelets for “please don’t ask, we don’t swing”.

 

Such shielding is graceful and enforceable as a pre-emptive “no”. Swingers are used to offering and receiving graceful “no thanks”. They know “what movie they are in” and the key dialogue. Non-swingers neither know the movie nor are comfortable with the key dialogue.

 

No one particularly enjoys unwanted advances, swingers simply expect them as a price for the desired advances.

 

You did nothing wrong. Swingers were welcomed to Caliente. The management failed to foresee and mitigate the predictable sort of encounter you described.

[4iscompany2us 25]

We can probably shine some light on this subject due to the fact that we are both nudist and poly swingers. For those with question marks in their brains, we refer to ourselves as poly swingers is because we will not hook up with a single or a couple for just one night. BUT back to the question. We live in a family oriented nudist club and despite our posititve attitude toward the lifestyle we do not mix swinging and nudism. I do notice negative comments from nudists about swingers and it does make me sad. Why we can't co-exist? We know of other swingers at our nudist camp but we do not interact. If things ended badly we would be seeing them on a daily basis, so we choose to refrain.

[jnrswinger 62]

Maybe a better way to approach this would be not to just invite them to party but to comment that there seem to be a lot of swingers there. You would get your answer without the very personal (and to be honest, rude) rejection. Most people would give a polite no thanks, though they might avoid you in future perhaps. However surely they must have sent some pretty strong signals for you to ask them outright like that. Maybe unknowingly, but they should take some of the responsibility.