Is age difference going to be an issue?

[Lpap6885 15]

My husband and I have been thinking about delving into swinging for a while now, but I am a bit apprehensive because we are different ages...by alot. He is 32 and I am 49. I have been told that people don't really notice our age difference because he looks older than he is and I look younger, but people say alot of nice things that aren't true lol

 

So I am concerned say we get in a position with a couple and they are attracted to him because he is younger and not me... or say the couple is older and he isn't attracted to her. Or no one is attracted to me and I end up just being alone while he has fun. These are the things my overthinking mind thinks about!

 

Does anyone have experience in an age gap relationship?

 

Also, I found a swingers club here where we live, but it seems a little overwhelming to jump right into that. Is there a less intimidating way to get our feet wet?

[njbm 2,879]

For the age difference, I don't see a problem. A bigger problem is when one spouse is a "10" and the other is a "2." My wife is objectively cute, but I was very heavy until I lost 50 lbs. last year. My wife saw past it, but I think that my overweight status affected our swinging success.

 

On the other topic, go to the swingers club on a couples only night. Plan to observe or play with each other, but be flexible if you get a nice offer. Figure out your limits before you go and stick to them. If you are not enjoying it, go home and try another time.

[padoc 1,703]

Attractiveness is quite subjective. We've found that we've had a LOT more fun since we modified our selection process from finding the "perfect" couple to finding a "doable" couple. For us, this is recreational, we're not necessarily looking for people to introduce to our kids or take to an office party. We're looking for people who are attractive and fun. The advice about an on premises club is great. Go, be friendly, be open, and show your affection for one another. Its amazing how people want to share the fun when it's clear that YOU are having some.

[SW_PA_Couple 4,024]

My wife and I have met more than one May-September lifestyle couple. Have no concern. Just jump right in.

[njbm 2,879]

He may live until September?

[1XcellentXtra4U 29]

That's too bad... If I had a nickel for every hotwife that told me I was too young.

[EastInWest 1,524]

We have a similar age gap to you and, like you, very few people would guess it from meeting us. Not that we're very experienced, but I don't see this as a problem. You're at a totally reasonable point in your life for swinging, your husband doesn't have an issue with age differences (lots of men don't), and I don't think you're going to find your husband is overly in-demand just for being younger. An enthusiastic wife is almost always the center of attention.

 

Mrs. EastInWest feels the same way about the club scene, but it's something we want to do eventually. We ended up starting with a couple she knows, who are closer to her age than mine, and she did just fine picking up a man closer to my age while we were traveling. If it's something you both want to do, I'd say embrace it and have the serious conversations now instead of letting it simmer for years wondering about whether or not you should have.

 

...and you can always visit a club and not play, just to see what it's like. That line doesn't work on Mrs. EastInWest either, but I'm throwing it out there, anyway.

[Guest]

To me the age gap doesn't seem to big.

[Judy39 145]

You being left alone and him getting all the fun is extremely unlikely. I really wouldn't worry about that.

 

I think a complete four-way match of two couples is rare anyway. We don't aim for it. When the opportunity arises, we have our share of fun. Sometimes together, sometimes separately. (I'm 39 and my husband is 48).

 

If you want a less overwhelming start than a local club, you can go somewhere far for a weekend away, then just write it off and forget about it if it's not successful. That's unlikely to happen but it makes it easier to relax if it's your first time.

[Judy39 145]

That's too bad... If I had a nickel for every hotwife that told me I was too young.

 

Haha, I don't play with younger guys and say this all the time. Your post prompted me to think why, and I think it's that I don't want to be a that'll-do option, I want to feel like I'm insanely hot and completely irresistible.

[EastInWest 1,524]

Haha, I don't play with younger guys and say this all the time. Your post prompted me to think why, and I think it's that I don't want to be a that'll-do option, I want to feel like I'm insanely hot and completely irresistible.

 

I'd always assumed that some more mature women just thought younger men were going to be a little clueless and cause drama. I'd never considered this angle.

 

For what it's worth, there's no shortage of younger men who would find an eager hotwife hot and completely irresistible at any age.

[GoldCoCouple 4,066]

You are WAY overthinking this. Rarely does one couple say 'lets hook up with that couple because of the guy...', it's the women that get the attention. Now I have seen profiles for a 50+ yo old man and his new 22yo new wife and we always take a pass on those...just too much potential drama and too big of an age difference for us, but even they do get people that want to play with them. Just go with it and see where you end up. Find a club and try it one time (you don't even have to do anything other than watch). It WILL be okay...