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Hello everybody.

 

My wife and I are from New York City, and new to swinging. In fact, we haven't tried yet, but are eager to. Except this looks like a complicated world :(

 

I tried to google "swingers clubs in NYC", but I found myself instantly buried under a ton of information, jargon, websites with tiny writing and hundreds of pics of people who seem to have been doing this all their life, themed parties with wild costumes, even morbid stuff...

 

I mean, I have no judgement at all on anything, and I understand that at some point, swingers become part of an underground culture with its own codes, rules, terminology, etc.

 

But for now, WE KNOW NOTHING :) We just want a kind, non-agressive introduction to this new world. Can someone gently take us by the hand ? :)

 

Concretely: we're looking for a club in New York (hopefully Brooklyn, but we can travel) where we'd feel comfortable, chill to nice music, have drinks, and observe some action, without pressure to participate -- but with room to, if we want.

 

Any suggestion would be greatly appreciated.

 

Thanks!!

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Hi Newbie42. We're from PA, so I can't help you with NYC. Also, don't know your age or exactly what you are looking for. However, here is an idea you may want to consider. Check out Hedonism II in Negril Jamaica. We go there twice a year (when it is cold here) and love it. It is a beautiful resort with wonderful staff, delicious food, and lots to do. There are areas of the resort that are clothing optional and areas that are nude only. It is all-inclusive, so all food, drinks, entertainment, water sports, etc. are included in one price. You can go kayaking, snorkeling, scuba diving, play games, or just hang out by the pool. We always meet awesome people from all over who are open minded and want to have fun. There are usually lots of PDA's (public displays of affection) around the nude pool and hot tub, especially late at night, and there is a "Playroom" open late at night, if you are interested in that. It is more of a clothing optional resort rather than a swingers resort, but there are plenty of opportunities to meet and hook up with people if that is what you want, or you can just enjoy the atmosphere and sexy vibe and just play with your significant other. The only rules are RESPECT and No Means NO. There is lots of info and many reviews online. You can check out their website for which groups will be there on which weeks, then go to the individual group websites and see if you think that is a group you would want to go with. We love Jon's Fluffernutters (fluffernutters.com) You will get a better rate if you go book with a group rather than through the resort. Lots of questions and answers about Hedo 2 on Adult Travel Forum. Good luck!

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I would love to help, we have all been new at some point in time! First I will say that unfortunately I do not live in NY (although was born and raised there) and have only been to one club in the city which I do not recommend. I don't want to name it because that's not nice. It was very cliquish and at around midnight every single person went into the playroom, which is odd for any club.

 

I will say that generally speaking, swingers are very friendly and warm and happy to meet new couples. Always a good idea to let people know at some point that you are new to swinging. If you do go to a club, try to arrive early so you don't walk into a party already hopping. Find a spot so you can sit and observe for awhile. Take it slow and don't have any expectations before you go. Just take it as it comes. Make sure your wife is happy and comfortable. Let her make the decisions that night. If she likes it, she'll go back. If she doesn't... Good Luck!

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There is Bowery Bliss, Pendulum and Checkmates in NYC. I believe Caligula is in Astoria Queens. We went to B.B. once and did not enjoy it. I think that you would have a better time at Desire RM if that is affordable for you.

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Tbone1: Thanks for the blurb, it sounds great; we'll definitely consider it once we're more advanced in the game and plan vacation overseas.

 

MarniJohn: Thanks a lot for the advice, that's exactly the spirit! I'll make sure my wife reads this, I believe it will make her more comfortable.

 

njbm: Thank you so much for the practical advice, that's precisely what we need at this point. I googled Desire RM, looks it's outside NY--or did I miss something? Both Pendulum and Checkmates look good. Any preference, or experience in either place that you'd like to share? Also, may I ask why you didn't enjoy B.B.?

 

Cheers!!

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Desire RM is a beach resort in Riviera Maya, Mexico. Near Cancun. I went rogue off topic. It’s a lifestyle friendly resort. Many there are nudists, newbies or just like the sexy vibe. Easy to observe or possibly participate. If nothing happens, you had a nice, sexy beach vacation.

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The people at B.B. were not friendly. It was just one night two or so years ago. Maybe it is great every other night and we hit a bummer. I do recall it was a tad expensive and they wanted cash.

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Clubs we liked: Trapeze in Ft. Lauderdale, Collette’s in Dallas.

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Thanks, njbm and all, for your kind advice. I think we're closing in on Pendulum and Checkmates in NYC. Anyone wants to share his/her experience in either one of these clubs? How did it go? (especially if you were debutants when you went there)

 

Cheers.

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Ok, since you are asking specifically I will tell you I do not like Checkmates. I have been there several times and never found it to be a good swing club. I will concur that the best club we have ever been to (and we have been to many) is Trapeze in Fort Lauderdale. Checkmate is very small, low ceilings and the vibe is just not friendly. I never found people in any club we have ever been to to be as unfriendly as the people who seem to gravitate towards this club. I can't explain it... Just my opinion. I would say that if it were my first experience in a swing club it might have been my last.

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Wow. Thanks for your insight, MarniJohn, that is really helpful! Crossing off Checkmates, then. I hear you about Trapeze, but we're in NY and not planning to visit Florida any time soon, so... What about Pendulum? Ever been there, any impressions to share? Or do you have any recommandation for a club in NYC that offers a smooth, no-pressure introduction to the Swinger world?

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If you have no plans to visit Florida over the winter, how about a weekend away from the city?? Google The Private Affair, it's just off I-95 in northern Maryland. There are several decent motels nearby, we use the Days Inn in Northeast MD and I think there is an HI Express too. TPA is friendly, laid back, no pressure no pretenses and just a lot of fun. When we lived in Pa, we were there nearly every Saturday. In fact, we've often gone to TPA instead of Trapeze for NYE. I wonder if some of the clubs in NYC might be a bit to hard core or intense for a new couple. Dumb luck got us to TJ's (Harrisburg)and TPA before we ever visited one of the clubs in Philly. Had we gone to the old Kama Sutra on South Street first, our swinging hobby would have ended then and there. Good luck and let us all know what you decide to do and how it goes.

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Thanks, Padoc. We appreciate advice about out-of-town clubs, but this would be our first time, and we're not ready to invest a week-end outing in it. We're not very sure about this, so laid back atmosphere, friendliness, and the option to pull back at any time are musts. You don't consider pulling back lightly after driving for hours, booking a hotel room, making arrangements for the weekend, etc. Distance would just create pressure to make the time and money investment worthwhile, which is not good. What we want is a zero-pressure first experience. For a first try, we need this to happen close to home. Many thanks in advance to anyone who'd provide advice on beginner-friendly clubs in New York City.

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We were invited to Pendulum by another couple and the theme was Bibash and Tgirl (transgender) Party. God bless bi, gay and transgender people and may they have great sex to their heart’s desire, but that is not the theme for us. If you are newbies, go on couples night. Single guys can be persistent and a little overwhelming for newbies. Now that I’ve dissed everyone but hetero couples, I will gracefully leave....

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Haha! I appreciate that, fellow hetero couple :) Now how were couples nights down there? Any impressions you can share?

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Hey there. Newbie here too. Did you ever find a club in NY? I’m doing my research now and would like to know. Thanks in advance :)

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luv2was said:
SLS has a club listing that can be searched.

Sort options include by city or distance (from your zip code).

There are quite a few for NYC proper.

Current Swinger Clubs list

Wow! This is fabulous. I had no idea that this SLS facility could be accessed by a person who is not a member. I'm going to bookmark your post so that I can pass it to people who will, without a doubt, ask this question in the future. Many thanks.

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