MMf kind of uncomfortable

[Erik13 157]

So the wife and I have had about four MMF experiences. I was uncomfortable with it and the guys seemed to be too. She suggested I sit back and enjoy the show next time and she'd take care of me after. While this does seem more appealing than having a cock in front of me during the threesome, I also don't want to feel like a cuck, since we're not into that. So confused...opinions from people with experience?

[padoc 1,703]

Maybe this isn't a good hobby for you two.

[Erik13 157]

Maybe this isn't a good hobby for you two.

 

Maybe, maybe not. We're still new and learning.

[dan63 106]

Is it possible that the discomfort shown by the other guys might be a reflection of your own discomfort?

[Erik13 157]

Is it possible that the discomfort shown by the other guys might be a reflection of your own discomfort?

 

No. Not at all. They never had MMF before and probably didn't realize what they were getting into.

[machiavel55 81]

So the wife and I have had about four MMF experiences. I was uncomfortable with it and the guys seemed to be too. She suggested I sit back and enjoy the show next time and she'd take care of me after. While this does seem more appealing than having a cock in front of me during the threesome, I also don't want to feel like a cuck, since we're not into that. So confused...opinions from people with experience?

 

I was never crazy about MFM, did a few of them in my swinging years so my GFs could experience it.

The presence of another cock never bothered me but the sex for me was completely void of pleasure.

I had no problems getting hard but very rarely had an orgasm.

When we swapped it was 1 on 1 with my partner(the other woman) and that is what I love, to be 1 on 1 with a woman.

During MFMs I could have never sat back and watched so I directed and controlled everything.

In group situations I always had a tendency to kind of run things, in sex I've always been dominant (no BDSM....lol)except if I was with a woman that I trusted, then letting her dictate activities was not a problem.

 

You must find what works for you or stop the 3somes.

[njbm 2,879]

I prefer swapping with another couple. I do the other woman, the other guy does my wife. That is my preference. Maybe it’s yours. Try it.

[ViSexual 1,008]

It sounds like you just haven't found the right guy yet. I was a third with a couple for several years, years ago. I always referred to myself as their sex toy. It was always about them and I was there for them. Many times he'd just sit back and watch. I remember a few times that I'd be in their pool with her and notice him in an upstairs room watching from a window.

 

It does sound like this is something that your wife enjoys though. And, hey, it's pretty darn hot to just watch someone you love having sex. It's by no means a Cuck thing at all. Find someone who understands that.

[Guest]

Been uncomfortable at first is perfectly natural / usual, it actually takes time to build up some comfort with a new person, and I don't mean meeting the same person 2 or 3 times, I mean meet them 20 times and sooner or later things will start to feel more comfy.

 

My longest standing play partner is another man and at first me and him was nervous, uncomfortable, quiet, now after meeting loads of times me and him don't see any problem with it at all and can drop our trousers and both fuck the same girl all night if she will let us, we now just see it as fun, but sure it tuck us to meet loads of times for that comfort to grow.

 

The only real red flag I noticed was you saying you don't want to see another mans cock as that sounds slightly homophobic.

 

I mean unless this man is actually doing anything with you then I can't see the problem.

 

I'd assume your wife had various men's dicks inside her before you and her met, so really its not different from what she was doing before you and her met.

 

In my case at least things became a lot more comfy when I realised the man we play with didn't want to steal my partner, wasn't asking my partner to cheat or meet him alone.

 

Sadly it can take a while to figure out a new guys real motivations, I mean one thing I have noticed with playing with other guys in a MFM situations is that some of them do want to steal the open minded women. I think some guys who have MFM threesome think....

 

"Great if I could steal that women then she is open minded and now we have had MFM then she would let me have all the MFF that I want"

 

Or they think....

 

"Wow if this open minded women was mine then I'd be able to have her all to myself, and still fuck whoever else I want and she wouldn't mind"

 

One thing is for sure meeting a new guy every time doesn't help, you need to find one guy that you trust and meet him.

 

The question is do you feel comfy with that guy? Maybe he has the same hobbies as you which makes you feel more at ease, maybe his dick is the right size for you to feel comfy, maybe he shows no interest in stealing away your partner which makes you feel comfy, maybe his body is really clean which makes you feel comfy, maybe he lives the right distance away which makes you feel comfy.

 

Whatever the reason finding a guy your comfy with and then building up trust with him by having lots and lots of meets is key.

 

 

HOWEVER..............!!!!!

 

 

I can not stress this enough.

 

 

DO NOT:

 

- Let other men know where your wife works.

 

- Give other men your wife's contact details such as phone, email, chat programs.

 

- Let another man know your, or your wife's working patterns / what hours you in and out.

 

- Let another man know where you other friends or family live or work.

 

- Let a man know your favourite hang outs, bars, hobby locations.

 

 

Try an avoid giving other men personal details about your life and routines, for example if a man founds out you "The Husband" leaves the house everyday at 8pm for work then chances are by 9am he might be knocking on your door wanting to see your wife alone. If he finds out where your wife he works he might figure out some reason to make a surprise visit.

 

Yes by all means meet a guy and build up some trust but that doesn't mean you have to give them the keys to the entire castle.

[BuiltForSin 66]

So the wife and I have had about four MMF experiences. I was uncomfortable with it and the guys seemed to be too. She suggested I sit back and enjoy the show next time and she'd take care of me after. While this does seem more appealing than having a cock in front of me during the threesome, I also don't want to feel like a cuck, since we're not into that. So confused...opinions from people with experience?

 

Everyone has their own comfort zones. The area you play in is where you and your wife's comfort zones overlap. This is sex, you are allowed any hangups without having to feel guilt as long as you don't push those hangups on others. The easy solution seems to be finding other couples or playing separately (or at least your wife doing her thing on her own and getting with you later).

 

If you are hoping to get comfortable with MFM think the only thing that will help is time and maybe a little forethought into what positions work best in an MFM and the usual things of turning the lights down low and building a little bit of camaraderie with the guy beforehand - that way its the two of you working on her as opposed to your and your wife trying to work with him if that makes sense.

[GoldCoCouple 4,066]

They never had MMF before and probably didn't realize what they were getting into.

 

First of all, and it's a small difference, is it's a MFM (MMF means that you are also playing with the guy). Second, why are you playing with other guys that have no experience? When you are trying to figure out if you like something or not, it is always a good idea to involve others that already know the game you want to play. Third, cuckold involves you being humiliated. It doesn't sound like that is happening so don't worry about that. Finally, as suggested above by njbm, how about finding another couple? This way you have something to keep you 'occupied' while your wife is enjoying herself? Let us know how things go for you both.

[Erik13 157]

Thanks for all the advice. We do both prefer a full swap foursome with couples, but haven't had any luck finding 4 way matches lately. We have only had luck with single guys(that's easy enough lol) and single girls.

[M1F2KTJ 473]

So the wife and I have had about four MMF experiences. I was uncomfortable with it and the guys seemed to be too. She suggested I sit back and enjoy the show next time and she'd take care of me after. While this does seem more appealing than having a cock in front of me during the threesome, I also don't want to feel like a cuck, since we're not into that. So confused...opinions from people with experience?

 

Yes. Get off the bed away from his cock. That doesn't make you a cuckold. Enjoy the show. Take your turn. If he is on the bed when you take your turn you won't know because your focus is on her.

 

When the three of you are on the bed in a MMF situation there is always going to be incidental contact with the other man due to the close proximity and a lack of coordination. You go here I'll go there:)

 

My wife told me that she prefers to focus on one man at a time

[Martain2018 20]

Not that I am going to get any jollies by hearing this. But what IS the best scenario for you. Everyone above has great points. But if you were both directing and starring in this scene with your wife what would it look? Positions...guy...enviornment etc. Start there...

[bryonboru 60]

The MFM is the reason we moved to full swap, when both parties are getting something new it changes the dynamics.

[adamgunn 1,460]

I loved my wife having an MFM. I wasn't a cuck in that I'd let anyone humiliate me, handle his dick, etc.

 

I'd help my wife set up her date, shaving her legs, picking out the outfit, etc. We'd usually meet the guy in a bar and if she wanted to bring him home while they were getting comfortable with each other I'd get them a drink, set up the bedroom with candles and music. Then I'd observe for awhile, taking pictures if the guy didn't object. I enjoyed watching the seduction, the first contacts, and then them making love.

 

When he was beginning to run out of steam, I'd join them on the bed, screwing my wife while he watched and helped. Usually, that led to more sexy thoughts on his part, which led to more sex between them.

 

We were very comfortable with that scenario. Perhaps that could be your niche.

[Guest]

Are you doing MFM for you or for her? I prefer MFM, my hubby prefers swaps. We don’t exactly take turns but we both have smiles on our faces much of the time.

[WesternSwing 504]

My favorite threesome is the MFM variety. It's always been a bigger turn-on watching my wife be the center of attention than being so myself. That said, my wife or partner (depending on my relationship status) has always been my favorite porn, and we all know watching live sex is better than watching it on a screen. My advice is just let the other guy know that you don't have a cuckold relationship and that you just want to watch, that watching your wife do her thing is something that turns you on. For me it has never been about watching another man fuck my wife, it was always watching her do her thing from a third person perspective that I don't get to see when we're fucking.

[EastInWest 1,524]

A little late to this thread, but when we tried MFM with someone unfamiliar, the "skipole" position was a good icebreaker. There's enough space from either side of the couch to pay as much or as little attention as you like until everyone is comfortable. That, or as suggested earlier, taking turns.

[Numex 2,420]

The only real red flag I noticed was you saying you don't want to see another mans cock as that sounds slightly homophobic.

 

...

 

I mean one thing I have noticed with playing with other guys in a MFM situations is that some of them do want to steal the open minded women..

 

Call me what you want, but I like seeing a guy's cock going in and out of my wife or any woman and his sack bouncing around.

 

There are guys who want to "steal" my wife, but she doesn't put up with that shit. It's just amazing to me that so many guys want a slut for a girlfriend or wife. I thought I was the only one.

[couplers 4,653]

The one constant in the advice here is to try adjusting your activities be be more to your liking, whether it's allowing her to play separately for a while or doing couples' swaps. Try different things, adjust and move along where it takes you. Don't be afraid to try new things; despite what some may say about "permanent" damage to one thing or another, just be willing to admit that something was a mistake and move on. Life is adventure, a few wrong turns are to be expected.

[AngelandTiger 364]

A quick note. If it ever appears to either of us that one of us is "making love" with a play partner (as Adam describes above), that's veto time and that particular play partner, however great, is no longer on our "list". We make love with each other... NEVER a play partner. It's not a small distinction.

 

T

[adamgunn 1,460]

Angel&Tiger, sorry for the feelings my post gave you. I only used the term 'making love' because I dislike using the F-word (that's MY hangup!)

 

you are absolutely right, a true connection should only be made with your love partner, not with a friend that you are fucking.

[PSULioness 857]

Our first experiences before we were married were ffm and I watched him with my gf. He also got to see me with her. We did progress to where saw me with other guys. He said it was strange to him even though he was with other people. We have since married and we have been playing with his friend. It’s not like he watches, we mostly play with me giving a blow job to one as the other is in me.

[couplers 4,653]

... I like seeing a guy's cock going in and out of my wife or any woman and his sack bouncing around.

Watching a man during sex fascinates me because I like men's testicles. I started a thread on how they don't get the appreciation they deserve.

 

.It's just amazing to me that so many guys want a slut for a girlfriend or wife. I thought I was the only one.

Most of it isn't that guys want a slut for a wife, they just rather have a woman who wants too much sex than little or none.

[GMOFLEISURE 221]

This is so outside my experience. Most of the swinging I've done the males were usually bisexual & so were most of the women. That really reduces the tension & discomfort in most of my experience.

 

I would reiterate that just watching white the other man takes a turn with her is not cuckholding. That involves at a minimum a clear restriction or denial of access, and usually verbal abuse at some level. Being present while your spouse has a great orgasm or two with someone else is not cuckholding.