Help I'm stuck in my own brain.

[Indyfuncouple 16]

Hiya!

First time on the boards. There is so much to say but the condensed version is that we recently had our first experience. MFM that was,while fun, rather anticlimatic. We will post more on that experience later. The issue at hand is as follows: neither of us were aware of our friends endowment beforehand. It was not a factor. I,hubby, did not even see it until late in the action. Wifey's noises indicated she was enjoying it and that is all that mattered. Gave me a reasonable chub to be frank. It turns out he was smaller than my average appendage. I really couldn't have cared less if he was huge. Fast forward... we have been chatting with a guy for a while that we both like and share an eerily similar personality. The thought of entertaining him is exciting to both of us. My hangup is that I just saw a pic of his package. It's a bit longer and thicker than me. Not ridiculously so. I am struggling with the thought of wifey really enjoying it. If it were a monster I would be ok due to the novelty. To be so close in size but not quite attainable seems sucky.

What the hell is wrong with me?

[padoc 1,703]

Take a deep breath!! A MFM threesome isn't about YOU and it isn't about YOUR dick, it isn't even about HIS dick. Its about pleasuring your wife. At the end of the night, she'll tale a shower and go to sleep with you. He will either be good in the rack or not but it won't really matter a whole lot. The experience and the moment will. Mrs Doc says that being the object of the undivided attention of two men is one of the high points of this hobby. Don't let penis envy or penis insecurity spoil HER fun.

[Indyfuncouple 16]

Thanks for the reply. As I mentioned the night really requires an explanation. Suffice it to say I handled it well. Until a couple of years ago I was "that guy". Jealous,insecure,possesive etc... something finally clicked and that all just went away.

I still had concerns on our first try. I just knew that some deep,hidden brain booger would come out and ruin the night. When SHTF so to speak those thoughts did not even exist. *pats shoulder* I am so proud of me, wifey and our marriage.Mostly me though:lol:

I guess this recent feeling is just the natural anxiety due to the newness.

[ViSexual 1,008]

I guess size does matter in one way. Swinging is about experiencing someone, or something, different. It's about variety. I found that the different breasts of women so interesting and enjoyable. Heck, I think I enjoyed the women with small breasts more because my wife's breasts are large. Your wife might feel the same way and enjoy dicks larger and smaller than yours equally.

[adamgunn 1,460]

I'm not sure I understand your angst.

 

You say that you had one wonderful MFM, that your wife was pleasured and that you enjoyed the scenario. So, you seemingly don't have any problem with a gentleman being inside your wife.

 

But, it turns out that you found out later that he wasn't as big as you. Now, you are considering another man who *may* have a cock that is somewhat larger, and that is freaking you out.

 

I would suggest that an MFM is all about your wife's pleasure. If she gets off on another guy, has a great time, but then comes back to you, isn't that what you want? It seems to me that the size of the other man is irrelevant.

 

Good luck!

[Erik13 157]

As long as she enjoyed it what difference does the other guy's size make? I'm not understanding this...

[luvin eye full 140]

I would say that it is NOT just about your wife at all as others have said.

No it is about the both of you and what the both of you are comfortable with doing or not doing this is the idea of partners that swing. now you may be fine with anything with in the context of that statement but to tell him it's all about her is well...crap.

 

Now to your "misgivings" about size - The wife says unless they are really big then most feel pretty much then same - shape she feels more ( upward, down ward that kinda thing )

I have to agree with her as well most girls / wives feel the same only one has ever stuck out as being overly "sung"

 

Your wife is not going to leave you or think less off you if you cock is small then some strangers that she gets to have sex with while you are also having sex with her (3 some )

I would give it ago and if you or her feel it's not great then stop, have a word or something set before hand so if it does get to much you can stop - because its about both of you.

 

your wife would not want you to feel bad and you would not want that for her would you. So talk it out with her and then make a plan,

 

Best of luck to both of you

[padoc 1,703]

Unless the OP is gay or bi, a MFM 3-some IS about her. What would he get out of it besides sharing HER pleasure??

[luvin eye full 140]

Unless the OP is gay or bi, a MFM 3-some IS about her. What would he get out of it besides sharing HER pleasure??

 

Well there's one thing already "sharing her pleasure" as you say is not just for her but him as well, granted that the focus will be on her more then the others - but if he never gets any thing out of it why do it?

and what wife would want there own husband to put up with them just getting al the goods while there husband gets nothing out of it?

 

There are many things a guy can get out of a 3some with out having to be bi or gay.

[Guest]

Personally I think it can be really difficult to properly judge cock size using pictures.

 

Firstly pictures don't always give a true account of size, close up shots can make things look a lot bigger than they really are.

 

Secondly most guys I know would take 20 or even 50 pictures of their cock and then use the 2 or 3 pictures that make his dick look the biggest.

[Indyfuncouple 16]

Thanks for all the replies.

I really wish I had prefaced this post with a emoji depicting me with googly eyes doing the crazy sign.

This is not a life and death, ultra serious problem. It is more of a... why in the hell am I worried about trivial, inconsequential stuff. I just watched wifey frolick.

I can appreciate the thought that a MFM is all about her but I respectfully disagree.

I am not gay or bi but dammit hearing him moan from getting his pleasure was pretty awesome too.

I dunno, it is not a major issue and certainly not going to stop us.

I guess I should have asked: does anyone,even after plenty of experience, get niggly, irrational thoughts about stuff?

As for the confidence boosters telling me she will not leave for another... that is a non issue for us. None of those kind of thoughts exist. That is why I am so perplexed.

Anyhow, thanks to all and I am sure we will be regular contributors as our adventures evolve.

[EastInWest 1,524]

I'll say the same thing I've told Mrs. E a few times:

 

"It's just cum."

 

It's great when sex and love overlap, but most sex isn't about love and vice versa. The only true objection I have to an open relationship is that some people get cross-eyed about it and it's a recipe for all kinds of drama, where I believe a relationship is about forming a united front to keep drama out of the home.

 

So... It's just a dick. She's using it recreationally. It doesn't mean a thing unless you two decide it does.

 

Also, everything else everybody says about overestimating the dick is probably true.

[Indyfuncouple 16]

Thanks East. We are a united front in everything. Pretty unstoppable as a team really.

I guess I am just having a case of the "what ifs". Anyone with a brain knows how mentally self destructive those are regardless of the subject matter.

[EastInWest 1,524]

Thanks East. We are a united front in everything. Pretty unstoppable as a team really.

I guess I am just having a case of the "what ifs". Anyone with a brain knows how mentally self destructive those are regardless of the subject matter.

 

Mrs. E went through all the same stuff. Totally normal.

[Indyfuncouple 16]

That was helpful. Not that I do not appreciate all input but having someone mention normal is the validation? I am curious about.

[EastInWest 1,524]

That was helpful. Not that I do not appreciate all input but having someone mention normal is the validation? I am curious about.

 

What I mean is that playing out "what ifs" is something we all go through in different situations, and I think swinging is a textbook case where it becomes a speed bump for people who want to do it but can't figure out why they have that nagging voice.

 

I got the impression - maybe wrong - that the experience of having ruminating questions is itself frustrating you, and just meant to be reassuring that it's something other people feel, too and there's nothing "wrong". There's a great big barrel of social conditioning about sex that we all address in different ways.

 

The difference is if it's just that or actual doubts about wanting to swing, but it sounds like you're confident in your interest.

[Indyfuncouple 16]

Thanks East. I sometimes hate the electronic world we live in. Lost nuances, expressions etx...

You are dead on. We have no issue the big picture just these silly little ones.

[Scaredstiff 129]

Cocks always look bigger in pictures anyway

[10thBadger 25]

On 10/22/2017 at 6:05 PM, luvin eye full said:

I would say that it is NOT just about your wife at all as others have said.

No it is about the both of you and what the both of you are comfortable with doing or not doing this is the idea of partners that swing. now you may be fine with anything with in the context of that statement but to tell him it's all about her is well...crap.

 

Now to your "misgivings" about size - The wife says unless they are really big then most feel pretty much then same - shape she feels more ( upward, down ward that kinda thing )

I have to agree with her as well most girls / wives feel the same only one has ever stuck out as being overly "sung"

 

Your wife is not going to leave you or think less off you if you cock is small then some strangers that she gets to have sex with while you are also having sex with her (3 some )

I would give it ago and if you or her feel it's not great then stop, have a word or something set before hand so if it does get to much you can stop - because its about both of you.

 

your wife would not want you to feel bad and you would not want that for her would you. So talk it out with her and then make a plan,

 

Best of luck to both of you

How can you tell someone that you just read a post on that his wife is not going to leave him? You have no idea what his wife is going to. We hope that she would never leave him because they are married and they are trying new things. And hopefully it works out for them. But to tell him that there is no chance for his wife to leave him it’s just silly and not practical because we don’t know what his wife will do or how she will react or if she will catch feelings or fall in love. With another man.

 

That’s why even Julie says it is a dangerous game but at the same time it is rewarding  it done correctly and even then when some people do it by the book, bad things happen. But it seems like. 90% of the people in the lifestyle don’t wanna talk about the bad things that happened. That’s why I like reading Julie because she would let it be out there for everyone to see the good and bad.