Awkward first experience

[Miss_Red 18]

Went to club with my fiancé for the first time and met another couple there also there for their first time. The girl and I hit it off and she wanted to play. We got started, then she motioned for her guy, standing to the side with mine. I called him over and she started to suck his dick. I was still playing with her. I called my guy over and he got behind me.

 

I had made no mention nor inclination that he would touch her, nor that I would touch her guy. She turns and says to me: "I only want to play with my boyfriend" to which I replied "ok". I continued to lightly play with her. And I mean lightly. Really just touching her ass cheeks while focusing on my man.

 

Suddenly they get up and her BF tells me NO MEANS NO. I said "ok, sorry if I got confused." He says no means no again and they left.

 

Apparently when she said she only wanted him, she meant only him and for me to stop. However, the timing of her statement, because we had been playing together already and my fiancé getting into the bed led me to believe she meant she didn't want my guy to play with her.

 

They made me feel like I severely violated her. Am I in the wrong? I feel like I shouldn't even try again.

[SASS 69]

I have NEVER been to the clubs, but I am going to jump in anyway. you were both new. I can see where you could misunderstand her statement and believe she was just uncomfortable with your guy. In the future, I think it would be ok to clarify a statement like that. This is one reason however, that I do not find any interest in going to the clubs. regardless, I have had some pretty crazy experiences anyway. I have been on the trouble causing side a few times too and have figured out, it's better to learn something from each experience and move forward with the new knowledge. In this case, to clarify unclear intentions. should you try again?? well, were you enjoying the experience before this uptight couple ruined it? if you went to the bar and an obnoxious person hit on you repeatedly,then a woman came along and told you to back off her man, would you go back to that bar? most likely you would think "what a crazy pair" and you would not hold it against the bar, but would just move on wondering what was wrong with them... you should look at this the same way. they were also new and she miss communicated with you. you should absolutely try again. Don't let one bad apple spoil it for you. If it had been me, I would have probably started crying and ruined everything good that could come of the night, but I would still want to go back another night.

[1XcellentXtra4U 29]

How do couples swing before they are a married couple? Is it not putting horse before the buggy?

Just curious from outside looking in... Confused how people know they can swing together before they know that they are right for each other enough to get married.

[havinfun0 72]

You don’t have to be married to “know you’re right for each other.” Some couples never get married.

[1XcellentXtra4U 29]

You don’t have to be married to “know you’re right for each other.” Some couples never get married.

Yes, this is 100% true and I agree. My comment could have been worded better... The idea of being a swinger or interested in it is something I see people focus on when they have not even put the same effort or thought into the relationship they have.I'm kinda confusing the issue and getting away from original posters purpose.

my bad...

[Miss_Red 18]

Well we are engaged and 4 years into our relationship, they were just dating and were 8months into their relationship I believe they said. For us this s something we've been discussing for a while now. No clue about the other couple. But Jay and I know we're going the distance and that trust and honesty we have is shown. I don't think people need to be married to swing but I think having a strong relationship is the block you need to stand on.

[luvin eye full 140]

We get what happened and some times it can go a little side ways - they probably think your the worst in the world lol but really it was not that clear either given what was happening, so....

 

Next time just say do you mean no for both of us? or just your BF? in this kind of situation then everyone is clear, most people that have had a bit more experience would of made it clear with out the drama.

 

Chalk it up as a learning curve.

 

Best of luck to you both for next time.

[1XcellentXtra4U 29]

I don't think people need to be married to swing but I think having a strong relationship is the block you need to stand on.

I agree 100%!

When couples hear single male swinger, they assume certain things about him. Until proven otherwise of course. Same thing when I hear non-married swingeing couple. I will make assumptions of my own until proven otherwise. You and your fiance are why once again we learn not to judge people. We do though...lol

[GoldCoCouple 4,066]

When reading your original post, we thought the same thing that you thought: the two girls were playing and the other couple wanted to keep the guys to their own women. Are you in the wrong: no, not in our opinion. Did they overreact: yep! Either of them could have easily (and politely) asked for you to stop now and this most likely wouldn't have been an issue at all. This is why people who have been in the L/S for awhile shy away from 'noobies'...too much chance of drama (not the two of you but the other couple). Don't take it personal, just move ahead. Maybe in the future you MAY (but we don't feel it necessary) ask to clarify things in the future. You didn't do anything wrong, don't worry about it.

[Scaredstiff 129]

We would have interpreted it the same way, my wife would have probably informed me not to play and then returned to her play with the other lady, so I'd put it down to miscommunication by them, if you were unsure at the time what she meant then learn from it and just ask next time, but because you were already playing together she should have simply asked you to stop if that was what she wanted

[Scaredstiff 129]

We had a miscommunication moment ourselves last weekend as it happens,we're still quite new experience wise and told the other couple this numerous times along with the fact that we like to take things slowly to start, we had food and some drinks and headed to a club where we had a few more drinks and a dance, we swapped partners to dance and both made out a little, we were then asked if we would like to find a play room, we said yes and off we went, as soon as we got in the play room all the respect they had shown seemed to go out the window, his wife had my cock in her mouth before I'd even got my shirt off, the other guy started fingering my wife quite furiously as soon as her butt touched the bed, we were both a little taken aback and my wife ended up stopping play about 10 minutes in saying that she couldn't relax enough, there were no hard feelings or animosity but my wife and I learned that we really could have perhaps communicated what we wanted better at some point in the evening, but slow and sensual is kinda the norm for us, furious finger blasting must be the norm for them lol

My arms still aching actually, I'm not used to keeping up that speed for a full 10 minutes