New, starting slow, and evolving boundaries

[TheOtherLife 17]

Hi, mrs here. The SO and I are new to swinging, and will be attending our 2nd club event this weekend. The first time was fun, although we didn't play, just observed the people and got a feel for the atmosphere, getting our bearings. We did meet a few people, and have had a little bit of email teasing with the male half of one couple. (They both play with hall passes available, and the messages were through their shared online profile, so even though it was mostly just him, there was nothing hidden or sneaky.) He's made it pretty clear that I have a a very open invitation to play with him at the club this weekend, and I'm into that, there's good chemistry there. My SO has given me a green light too, whether he just watches or joins in, and we've talked about the details of our limits. Even though we intend to become a full-swap couple at some point, we want to start out slow, just soft-swap as we get used to it, to make sure we're both still ok with things along the way.

 

But here's my problem... my monthly cycle decided this was a good time to make an appearance. Ugh. We still want to go, but I'm pretty much limited to above-the-belt play for myself. This may be a dumb question, but is it ok to limit play to breasts and kissing, or will that come across as teasing amd frustrating? My idea of soft-swap at least includes hands roaming below the belt too, and probably oral, but mother nature put me in time-out. And yes, I'm pouting, lol. I was looking forward to going for it!!

 

(Side note: I'm pretty sure my worries come from my previous marriage, which was... let's call it less than healthy, especially in the sexual domain. That's part of the appeal of swinging. Being completely free to embrace my sexuality, while still being completely free to say no at any time, is surprisingly therapeutic, if that makes any sense. So I think I already know these limits are just fine, because most guys will still be thrilled to get to play with my boobs, lol, but some reassurance would help. ?)

[padoc 1,703]

Most guys REALLY like blow jobs and it is highly unlikely that this guy would turn down limited play. A simple statement, "I'm out of commission this week but I really like you. How bout we find a room or a quiet corner and make out for awhile"? He'll get the message.

[adamgunn 1,460]

You shouldn't have any problems. If you do, then throw that guy in the dumpster, he's not someone you want to play with anyway.

[couplers 4,652]

But here's my problem... my monthly cycle decided this was a good time to make an appearance. Ugh. We still want to go, but I'm pretty much limited to above-the-belt play for myself.

 

And here's my solution... two of them actually.

 

 

Get on a contraceptive regimen that keeps you from having a monthly period. While on The Pill you don't really ovulate anyway, it's just break through bleeding. There are products specifically designed for this or you can just take your current pills and skip the inactive ones. Some women with some IUDs also have very light or no periods.

 

 

Second, what's wrong with period sex? For regular sex (or anal) just put an old towel on the bed. For oral, wash beforehand. My guys are fine with both.

[TheOtherLife 17]

And here's my solution... two of them actually.

 

 

Get on a contraceptive regimen that keeps you from having a monthly period. While on The Pill you don't really ovulate anyway, it's just break through bleeding. There are products specifically designed for this or you can just take your current pills and skip the inactive ones. Some women with some IUDs also have very light or no periods.

 

 

Second, what's wrong with period sex? For regular sex (or anal) just put an old towel on the bed. For oral, wash beforehand. My guys are fine with both.

 

Wish it was that easy, but I can't do any form of hormonal birth control. Gives me crippling migraines. I got off birth control and had my tubes tied when I figured out that migraine-hormone link a few years ago. So I'm stuck with the monthly visitor.

 

I don't have a problem with period sex, except not actually at the club or with someone new. My SO and I will certainly follow up with it at home later, lol. But I have to be pretty comfortable with the person and the setting before period sex is on for me, and we're too new to this right now for me to have that comfort level yet.