Body image

[knuckledragger 17]

I am very interested in the lifestyle. My wife isn’t so much. She hasn’t told me this but I think it is more about her being judged. She has lost a lot of weight and has some body image issues. How much of the lifestyle is based on image?

[Erik13 157]

My wife felt the same way but has almost gotten over it. She was more shy to be naked around girls than guys...go figure.

[TricianMike 775]

Self image is not always the way others see you. We have met people who at first glance were not our type but turned to great people. If you ever go to a club or party you will see all types of bodies, unless you go to a pretty couple party. My suggestion is not to hide who or what you are. You or she might not be everyone's cup of tea. So what. Not everyone wants the stud or the rail. I am sure you love the way she is. Others will too. Most importantly is not to shame her or push her. Encourage her.

[GoldCoCouple 4,066]

If she really isn't interested, then maybe she just isn't interested. If she isn't interested because of her self image, that's different. First, if she isn't telling you why, that's your first hurdle to overcome. Work on trust and communication, worst thing that can happen is your relationship becomes even better. Find out what her issue is. Some people just aren't wired for swinging and if she is one (most people are one of 'those') then you are done.

 

If it is self image, then try planning a visit to a club with the understanding that the ONLY thing happening is watching for the both of you. Usually one visit helps greatly with self image issues. It's not just the 'pretty people' who will be there. It will be just like any other social gathering with EVERY body type being there...just some will be naked...and having sex...in front of the two of you...and many others (talk about a good evening out with the wife). Once she sees that it's just 'normal' looking people of all body types, it usually takes some of the body issues out of the equation (not all, but it's a start). As TricianMike said, don't shame her or force her to do this, encourage her (if she is willing). Take it slow and see where it leads you. Good luck and let us know how things are moving.

[knuckledragger 17]

This December we will have been together for 25 years and I am the only one she has been with. Myself I have been with others before her. She has agrred to going to the green door in Vegas to watch. She won’t go to one locally being afraid of running into someone she knows. Also she had made comments before about other women. Just trying to walk softly. And she will watch threesomes porn. I thank you all for your insight and advice!!!

[cplnuswing 4,713]

Everything above is good advice. I think going to a club with no expectations other than having a fun night out together is a good first step. Taking it slow is key when it comes to getting into swinging I think. Basically, it's something that has to develop on its own pace instead of trying to make it happen.

[Fundamental Law 2,885]

The body image conversation is an interesting one. Most LS people care about their appearance and by extension their physical attractiveness. Male or female, they are quick to list their flaws. They are especially concerned about being judged by strangers.

 

Our experience suggests that personality and especially openness is far more important. By middle age, most people look...middle aged. Sags and marks and lines and scars are part of life. What the LS offers is the chance to get past the insecurities and recognize that you (and especially your partner!) are not only atttactive but indeed sexy and desirable.

[GoldCoCouple 4,066]

While it doesn't make any difference about going to a local club, the thing to remember is anyone you run into that you may know are there for the same reason you are and don't want anyone else to know just as much as you don't want anyone else to know.

[Scaredstiff 129]

We've found that going down this road has actually increased our body confidence, people pay compliments and heck some of them even want to sleep with us Haha, we aren't perfect but it's not long before you realise nobody is, and then you kind of think you know what I'm happy with what I've got

[dan63 106]

I would say my wife and I both had these concerns when we were first entering the LS. She was concerned about her weight, I was concerned about my weight and penis size. Well, all it took was a visit or two to the local club to find out that we were absolutely average in the LS in the looks dept. People and penises both come in all different sizes in the LS. Some bigger some smaller, but mainly, we did "fit in" and I would expect this to be your experience also.

[M1F2KTJ 473]

I am very interested in the lifestyle. My wife isn’t so much. She hasn’t told me this but I think it is more about her being judged. She has lost a lot of weight and has some body image issues. How much of the lifestyle is based on image?

 

Sexy comes in all shapes and sizes.