Men not cumming

[Jane1902 476]

In the past year I have had three male partners have difficulty or not cum at all. They have been in their mid 50's, in good physical shape, and all have said they don't always. They tell me not to worry and still come back again. Any insight? I don't draw attention, they are the ones to end playing (I am fully satisfied). Sometimes my oral skills will do the trick but not always. I have multiple, amazing orgasms and wish they could feel the same.

[njbm 2,880]

We notice a fair amount of men over 50 have this problem.

[Fundamental Law 2,885]

One cannot help recalling the complaint voiced by Madeline Kahn as Lili von Shtupp in the movie “Blazing Saddles”. ... “I’ve been with thousands of men...again and again ... and they’re always coming and going and going and coming...and always too soon!”

 

In the quest for total orgasmic control, we have achieved ... overcontrol.

[cplnuswing 4,713]

In the quest for total orgasmic control, we have achieved ... overcontrol.

 

This. It's not unusual for me not to come, and it's for the reason above...I'm so concentrated on pleasing her as long as she wants to be pleased by not coming too soon that in the end I don't at all. Doesn't mean I didn't have a really good time

[Baconheads 432]

In the past year I have had three male partners have difficulty or not cum at all. They have been in their mid 50's, in good physical shape, and all have said they don't always. They tell me not to worry and still come back again. Any insight? I don't draw attention, they are the ones to end playing (I am fully satisfied). Sometimes my oral skills will do the trick but not always. I have multiple, amazing orgasms and wish they could feel the same.

 

I am one of these men. I started a thread about circumcision and foreskin restoration a few years ago. I'm convinced that the "problem" is at least partially due to the vicious circumcision techniques that were practiced in the fifties and sixties. I started restoring with a stretching device and my weiner has increased in length by an inch. (6 to 7 inched, fully hard)

 

My "self-abuse" as a young man may have added to my orgasmic difficulties, I will freely admit that. I was married to a woman at the time who I perceived as a cold fish and I had to take matters into my own hands. I was turned down for sex at least 2/3 of the time. Much of the time I wanted it but didn't even bother trying because the rejection was more than I wanted to deal with.

 

I think the foreskin resto is helping. It takes a long to get coverage of the head, I've been wearing the device for over a year and I'm nowhere near coverage, but at least it's not painful to have a woman play with my cock without lubrication any more.

[dan63 106]

I have to admit, this has actually happened to me a couple of times. Once with another wife and once in a MMF with my wife. The other wife we fucked until she came, her on top, and then she gets off. I'm thinking we are just taking a break. Fuck no, her hubby had come in my wife and she had cum so they were done. LOL

 

In the threesome, well let's just say both of the guys had no trouble getting hard, but no matter how hard we went at it there just wasn't any cumming. Finally after about 4 hours of continuous play, he and I finally just jacked ourselves off onto her. We were all dying!!! LOL She was wore out and so were we.

 

I believe you would rather have a guy with difficulty cumming than one that came too quick or couldn't get hard at all.

[PeterJ 954]

One cannot help recalling the complaint voiced by Madeline Kahn as Lili von Shtupp in the movie “Blazing Saddles”. ... “I’ve been with thousands of men...again and again ... and they’re always coming and going and going and coming...and always too soon!”

 

In the quest for total orgasmic control, we have achieved ... overcontrol.

 

There is just so much wisdom in “Blazing Saddles.” But what I find amazing is that men (it’s always men) who weren't born when the movie came out more than 40 years ago, know every line in the script.

[Fundamental Law 2,885]

There is just so much wisdom in “Blazing Saddles.” But what I find amazing is that men (it’s always men)who weren't born when the movie came out more than 40 years ago, know every line in the script.

 

I wish I resembled that remark. I do know every line in the script—as does Mrs. FL—and alas we saw it first run in the movies. At least we saw it together!

 

Blazing Saddles was so politically incorrect that it could not be made today. The demonstrations would be widespread. The internet would erupt with indignancy. Interest groups would bemoan the caricatures. And Mel Brooks would have been run out of town on a rail.

 

If there is anyone—anyone!- on this board who has never seen “Blazing Saddles”, for heavens sake go rent it and watch it with someone you love. But do not drink anything that might stain furniture or carpeting. You’ll be laughing so hard it will spray everywhere!

[Baconheads 432]

It's amazing that "Game of Thrones" has done so well. So many politically incorrect story lines in there. Love it!

[JandKinBoise 858]

Boy! Ya just cant' make anyone happy. We work and work at controlling our orgasm in order to satisfy the woman and then it's a problem?

Since women can have orgasms all day, there may be a different perception to the importance. For the most part, us guys are one and done. If we want to have a long session, there must be a way to control cumming. Sometimes, that control comes with no orgasm. In my opinion, group sex has little to do with the male orgasm and everything to do with the voyage.

I understand the issue. My first mmf relationship I came maybe 1/3 of the time, probably less. The first few times, she was fully frustrated at not being able to get me off. A little talk about my system, what I like about our relationship and the importance I place on my orgasm cooled her down. She just needed to be aware that the pleasure I provide for her and him is where I place the importance.

I can have an orgasm later. If you have a hard time coming, let her know before, make sure she knows it's not her.

[GoldCoCouple 4,066]

Put me on this list as well. There are times when I will stop (or pause) when I'm getting too close...just for a few seconds or so, and then I can continue. Other times it's because I'm focusing on just pleasing my partner. Usually it's because I don't want it to end and when I cum it usually signifies that the end is near. If I do this more than once or twice, sometimes I will get to where I won't cum at all. This doesn't mean that I didn't love the experience, quite the opposite. If a woman doesn't have an orgasm, does that mean she didn't enjoy the experience (please, nobody say yes here). If someone says that they had a great time, just accept it as a fact (unless you later find out that they never want to see you again). Sometimes giving can be every bit as good as getting.

[GoldCoCouple 4,066]

Oh, almost forgot. My parents took me and my sister to see Blazing Saddles when we were on vacation (when it was out in the theaters). They didn't know what it was about other than a western comedy. Lets just say they didn't enjoy the movie as much as I did. Saw the movie on TV a few weeks ago...let's jsut say that there was a bunch of the dialogue that was bleeped out. Rent or stream the unedited version if you are going to watch it.

 

Mongo only a pawn in the game of life...

 

Does anybody got a dime? Somebody's gotta go back and get a shitload of dimes!

 

Hey there, handsome. Is that a ten-gallon hat, or are you just enjoying the show?

 

My name's Jim, but most people call me - Jim...I used to be known as the Waco Kid.

 

Candygram for Mongo. Candygram for Mongo.

 

Now I don't have to tell you good folks what's been happening in our beloved little town. Sheriff murdered, crops burned, stores looted, people stampeded, and cattle raped. The time has come to act, and act fast. I'm leaving.

 

I want rustlers, cut throats, murderers, bounty hunters, desperados, mugs, pugs, thugs, nitwits, halfwits, dimwits, vipers, snipers, con men, Indian agents, Mexican bandits, muggers, buggerers, bushwhackers, hornswogglers, horse thieves, bull dykes, train robbers, bank robbers, ass-kickers, shit-kickers, and Methodists!

 

Bart: [in a gruff voice, hauling himself by the collar and pressing the muzzle of his gun against his own neck] Hold it! The next man that makes a move, the nigger gets it.

Dr. Johnson: Hold it men, he's not bluffing! [all but Howard Johnson drop their guns]

Dr. Samuel Johnson: Listen to him, men; he's just crazy enough to do it!

Bart: [still gruffly, to Howard] Drop it, or I swear I'll blow this nigger's head ALL OVER THIS TOWN! [minstrel voice] Oh, Lawdy-Lawd, he's desp'at! Do what he say, do what he SAY...! [Howard slowly drops the gun]

[bart slowly moving towards the sheriff's office, still holding himself hostage]

Harriet Johnson: Isn't anyone going to help that poor man?

Dr. Samuel Johnson: Hush, Harriet! That's a sure way to get him killed!

Bart: [minstrel voice] Oh, Oh he'p me! He'p me! He'p me! Somebody He'p me! He'p me! He'p me! He'p me! [gruffly] Shut up! [covers his own mouth, pushes himself into the office] Oh, baby, you are so talented--and they are so dumb!

 

Taggart: We'll work up a "Number 6" on 'em!

Hedley Lamarr: "Number 6?" I'm afraid I'm not familiar with that one...

Taggart: Well, that's where we go a-ridin' into town, a-whoppin' and a-whumpin' every livin' thing that moves within an inch of its life. Except the womenfolks, of course.

Hedley Lamarr: You spare the women?

Taggart: Naw, we rape the shit out of them at the Number 6 Dance later on!

[PSULioness 859]

This thread has sure taken a turn. I am in my 20s and yes I have seen Blazing Saddles as well as plenty of Mel Brooks films. The first time I saw it the farting scene was hilarious.

 

Getting back to the original post...for many years I never knew how long a guy could go. The majority of the guys I had been with were more apologetic for finishing. I had many a scary month from too many excited boyfriends. It took me years to find a guy who was completely in control. I on the other hand have been lucky to have orgasms pretty easily. I think guys are just so excited to get a girl to that point that they just let go. That's not a bad thing. When we were dating, my husband would take clues from me and it was great to be at the same point at the same time. I think over time he saw I was finished just because I had an orgasm. I wanted more. Maybe I am blessed by him because he can go on. There are times I can have too much and I stop him. I think he just likes when I let him finish orally. I hope this doesn't become an issue in the future but if it does we will deal with it. In our short swinging experiences the only guys who were not hard were the ones who were waiting to get hard again. From a playing point I have been fine trying to get guys hard again lol.

[SW_PA_Couple 4,024]

. . . I have multiple, amazing orgasms and wish they could feel the same.

When I was in my twenties, I could cum in my pants just thinking about sex. Sometimes sex was like a baseball game: three strokes and I was out. I did, however, get complaints so tried the various things that my disreputable friends told me would allow me to go long. None ever worked.

 

I am now in my sixties. I started believing that I had lost it. But I grabbed onto some wisdom that I found here at Swingersboard and I am now of the belief that I have an advantage. Owing to the fact that I do not cum too quickly or sometimes not at all, I can stay hard, be inside of a woman, and keep her at an elevated level of excitement for a long, long time. I can even do two or three woman in succession without needing the refractory period that I would formerly have needed. I am thinking of it more as a blessing than a curse. I let out no indications to a play partners that I have having any "difficulty". Consequently, few perceive a difficulty. Being with a woman who has multiple amazing orgasms is a reward all its own.

 

. . . Sometimes my oral skills will do the trick. . .

You should feel good about having this skill. My experience tells me that it is only a minority of women in the lifestyle who know how to do this well. The women who enjoy it for their own reasons do it well.

[goodtimes4us 20]

My husband has this problem as well and it's not just with other women. When we were first together I thought something was wrong with me because he doesn't always cum. He says he's always had this problem and that he still loves to have sex and he has a great time but sometimes it just doesn't happen. This has been hard for some of the other women in the LS because they take it that he isn't having a good time when indeed he is. We have to explain to them that it's totally normal for him. But he's also extremely satisfied making the women cum over and over and he has fantastic oral skills! Now the women just find it a challenge to try to make him cum.

[Guest]

As a woman, it’s a hard thing not to take personally. If they got me off, I tend to feel compelled to try my best to get them off either orally or by climbing up on top or whatever. Then again, maybe that’s why I enjoy it with men over 50, it tends to last much longer and then you really put yourself more into trying to get them off and thus enjoy it more.

[Baconheads 432]

Booze wI'll also retard my orgasm. We have to know what our limits are. This is difficult sometimes when considering the dynamic of a club, house party or private meeting. We have cocktails to be social and to break the ice. My ability to get off seems to be inversely proportional to the number of cocktails I have injested.

[njbm 2,880]

I do not drink alcohol if I think play is imminent. A definite male inhibitor.

[kcjones 59]

Wow, and not one comment complaining about condoms. I can only think one time when I climaxed with a condom on, ever. To be fair, my wife was my first, and we only tried using condoms 2-3 times.

 

Overall, this conversation is reminiscent of men questioning their penis size, and women replying that it's not that important. Will women now take the guys word for it that we are fine, even if we don't cum?

[cplnuswing 4,713]

Wow, and not one comment complaining about condoms. I can only think one time when I climaxed with a condom on, ever.

 

Well, condoms suck so that's a big factor too, but I've experienced the same failure to launch both with and without condoms and with different people including on a few rare occasions, even the Mrs. A totally vanilla monogamous friend of mine has a saying like "three and forget it" meaning if you successfully repress the urge to come three times, then after that, forget it, not going to happen at all no matter what you or she does. So, I don't think it's just a swinging thing, it can happen with your spouse of many years too if you are really concentrating on holding back and trying to make a regular session into a marathon screwfest.

[goodtimes4us 20]

Wow, and not one comment complaining about condoms. I can only think one time when I climaxed with a condom on, ever. To be fair, my wife was my first, and we only tried using condoms 2-3 times.

 

Actually that is part of my husband's problem too. He's only been able to come twice with a condom on and it took a lot of work and effort. But unfortunately in the LS they are a must.

[Guest]

WARNING!!!!

 

 

I know this from both study and experience.

 

But men not been able to cum / taking excessive amounts of time to cum / refusing to cum / been in pain when they cum / suffering any kind of stomach cramps during sex or when they cum.

 

Can all be signs of an STD

[Guest]

The other question that arises, or not, is what is the ladies responsibility here. I know when I was dating and a guy was having problems, I would do about everything possible to get him off, it became a bit of a mission.

[M1F2KTJ 473]

Feel lucky, I guess, that they can stay hard enough to bring you to an orgasm. You wouldn't want them to cum before you are satisfied?

 

Sucking me will make me cum. For some reason I can't explain, doing a woman from behind, "doggy style", makes me cum also. I love a beautiful ass. I haven't met a woman who I thought had an ugly ass that made me incapable of cumming.

 

Most men are finished playing when they cum (not me ). Enjoy the experience. A man not cumming should not be considered a judgement on you. Give him your best and satisfy yourself.

[EastInWest 1,524]

Honestly, it can be age, booze, nerves, or anything else including and up to he's simply been cumming too much - especially if he's using Cialis or similar as an assistant.

 

I can see how it'd seem personal but from the male perspective, when I've had a weekend like that I'm still just happy to be hard and using it. I'd hate to think a woman was disappointed that I screwed to exhaustion without getting off.

[Baconheads 432]

The other question that arises, or not, is what is the ladies responsibility here. I know when I was dating and a guy was having problems, I would do about everything possible to get him off, it became a bit of a mission.

 

I like your style!

[GMOFLEISURE 221]

Don't worry so much about it. Intense orgasms are nice, but for us older guys its not uncommon to go without. Its also increasingly common for men old and young to edge and delay the ejaculation part of orgasm. Last summer I had a threesome with a twenty something man who received oral and had coitus with the lady off and on for six of seven hours. He never ejaculated that evening. The following morning she worked him over for some thirty minutes before she finally got semen out of him. She was a bit frustrated, but I suspect he was just edging and did not realize she is very turned on by ejaculation.

[BabeAndApe 70]

I was diagnosed with testicular cancer when I was 40 and had one testicle removed. Prior to the surgery I was always concerned about premature ejaculation, but afterward I found ejaculation through regular penetrative sex elusive at best. It turned me into a fricken' rock star! Babe decided to up her game and always ensures I climax, but its hard work, takes time, and 90% of the time it only happens through oral. As a result, I don't ever expect to climax when I'm with anyone other than her and don't feel any women I might swing with are obligated to "get me off." I just want to have some fun with them and make them cum. For me, swinging is just "heightened sociability" and very adult fun.

[Myzyri 38]

I have multiple, amazing orgasms and wish they could feel the same.

 

If they're down for it, maybe try prostate massage. It's not everyone's cup of tea, but my wife sticks two fingers up there and just rocks my prostate for an hour. It is pure, absolute, 100%, amazing ecstasy. I'm confident that the non-stop orgasms I get from it are as close to female orgasms as any man can ever get.