First Club Visit May Be Tomorrow Night!

[WSB421 91]

I've been on these boards long enough to know that the best mindset to go in with is to expect a fun evening out with your SO and nothing more. This is our intention should we decide to go when we discuss in more detail tomorrow. Topics I'd considered:

 

- Establishing a code word if one of us is uncomfortable with someone in the vicinity so we can move along quickly.

 

- Establishing a code word if one of us is particularly drawn to someone or a couple we meet

 

- Establishing our ground rules and the limits of what we're willing to engage in on our first visit, we don't want to be overwhelmed in the environment and swept up in the energy only to eventually do something we aren't ready for.

 

- Finding a way to talk to other people/couples without leading them on as I don't believe we're ready for much if anything in the way of playing with others yet. Hoping some other couples might entertain the notion of a conversation about how the LS has affected their relationship even if the conversation won't lead to sex, at least tomorrow.

 

What else should be addressed prior to our first club visit?

 

Thank you in advance for your thoughts

[GoldCoCouple 4,066]

Go in with no expectations other than to enjoy yourselves having a night out together...but we are too late for this. Did you go?

[cplnuswing 4,713]

Yes, please let us know, did you go and if so, how was it?

[WSB421 91]

I'm going to call it a successful failure; a failure in that we did not go to the club. It was a successful failure in that I used what I'd learned on this site to make the decision that we weren't ready to go. We never did quite have "the talk" prior to going out and I decided our communication needs to improve before we put ourselves in that situation. Newbies are one thing, newbies who haven't communicated clearly before going to the club are a disaster waiting to happen. A disaster that would likely put a damper on others' evenings too. I'm certain that in our case a first club experience that was a bad experience would also be our last experience at the club. Better to wait until we're ready, if ever, than set ourselves up for a bad situation out of impatience and slam the door on this notion forever.

[cplnuswing 4,713]

Thanks for coming back and giving us an update. That was a wise decision I think, rushing into things isn't the way to go when it comes to swinging, and like you say, the repercussions of one bad decision can carry forward a long time. Better to just keep talking about it and when you are both ready, then give it a shot.

[GoldCoCouple 4,066]

Yes, thanks for the update.

 

The only thing more important than actually going and doing something is knowing when you aren't ready to do it. Keep us up to date as to what is happening...

[EastInWest 1,524]

Glad to hear you guys were giving it serious thought, and glad to hear you're taking it seriously. It sounds like you made a responsible call.