The one and done night

[Shore2Please 612]

We don’t swing often and both enjoy being with the couple we had our our first experience with. Our friends live far enough away that it’s an overnight romp when we do visit. When we play I enjoy a separate room experience my husband said he likes either same room or different. I like to be romanced and love the kissing and foreplay.

 

We were asked if it were okay that another couple would be there too. We had met the couple before though we were not intimate with them. I know they are fun and my husband and I said we were fine with it.

 

At the house we had fun and drinks. The newer friend was showing a sexual interest to me. I was looking forward to being with our friend who we met on a vacation . I enjoyed all my nights with him in the past. I knew over the weekend I would get a chance. It seemed I was going to be with our new friend. After some kissing and light playing he excused ourselves to one of the guest rooms. I enjoy being made love to not just having sex and he did all the right things. I have fears being with someone still but he was great. We spent what had to be an hour kissing and playing. We both knew it was the right time. He wanted to do it from behind but I stopped him. I got on top of him. With him in me I went for more kissing and I felt him tighten his hug on me. I couldn’t believe it was over. I know it happens. Disappointed but I couldn’t show it. That’s not me. The bigger disappointment was that was it for the night. I was tempted to join my husband. I didn’t.

 

The next morning we all were laughing about the great night. I never let on about the one and done night. The next night I was with our friend and it was a great night. On the way home I told my husband what happened the first night. He said he would have been fine with me joining him. He also knows I’m not into threesomes.

[bryonboru 60]

In our opinion your new playmate was selfish. Sometimes the new guy has anxiety and can not get hard, other times they do not last long. Either way he should of continued the fun another and made sure you enjoyed yourself.

[SW_PA_Couple 4,024]

What bryonboru says is correct. If a guy ejaculates and decides the night is over, he is either insensitive or inexperienced. There are at least 999 different ways continuing after an orgasm.

[GoldCoCouple 4,066]

It's more important (to me at least) that the woman enjoys herself than I enjoy myself. Making sure that the woman has a great time is the easiest way to make sure that I have had a great time. Even if it was quick, there' s other ways to please a woman...

[cplnluv1 872]

You must not be too experienced if this is the first time you had a problem like this. We have experienced on more than a few occasions where the man just couldn’t or did too fast. We have also met many inexperienced couples so it may happen more with us. My wife is pretty good at handling all scenarios. I understand it can be frustrating knowing that everyone else is having a good time. It would be easy to say your partner for the night didn’t do the right thing by going to sleep or not trying other ways to let you enjoy. You can’t control what he did. You could have taken control of what went next. You could have tried to awaken the dead. You could have lowered yourself over his mouth. Or you could have joined the fun in another room. You were put into a frustrating situation, there was no wrong way to go forward. You decided to live with it.

[JandKinBoise 858]

I find it's always easy the next day to think "I shoulda". But at the time, in the moment, one does what their base personality allows. Your actions in this situation show that you are very concerned about ensuring everyone has a good time. You want no stress, no drama, just the good parts. And that's cool. It's pretty common.

 

Looking back, it would have been perfectly fine to get up and say, "Well, I'm still ready for more, I think I'll go see if my husband could use a hand". But that could have started something so you just dealt.

 

As with all things swinging, communication can smooth out the edges. Had you spoken about the events to come and how things may unfold, setting the boundaries, you may have been more comfortable getting up and joining your husband. Probably if 4 professors got together for a swap, they would discuss the options till the sun came up. Most of us though, just go for it and hope for the best. Live, learn, enjoy!

[TricianMike 772]

You are lucky that this is the first time you were in this predicament. This is always a possibility if you want separate rooms. I’m trying to think what I would have done. It is not an easy place to be. You wrote that you are thoughtful of others. Putting pressure on him would have made it worse. I am pretty sure I would have urged him to go down and do more. I also would have tried to get him back up. You say you like the romance and kissing might have helped.

[Chris&Suzanne 204]

I started a thread about this a while back

https://www.swingersboard.com/forums/topic/59658-why-do-the-men-cum-so-fast-with-my-wife/

 

Funny thing is my wife brought this up a few days ago. She agreed with me it is no fun for her when it is in/out done.

[JustAskJulie 2,595]

In our opinion your new playmate was selfish. Sometimes the new guy has anxiety and can not get hard, other times they do not last long. Either way he should of continued the fun another and made sure you enjoyed yourself.

 

My thoughts exactly. He may have gotten off fast but he should have realized that while his penis was finished for the night, he wasn't. He's still got fingers and a mouth to work with and should have done so.

[Shore2Please 612]

I know what he should have done. He didn’t. He started as a wonderful partner. He did what I enjoy. I need romance and he was romantic. This was the first time we had been together like this. The couple is friends of our first ever couple. Alone we did all the kissing, touching and our playing was really good. We had plenty of fun and even complimented him on his oral skills. He loved mine too. He even stopped my at some point. I know I would have enjoyed more oral by him after he finished. I gave him time to recover and tried to arouse him with my hand and mouth. He should have done the same he didn’t.

 

I had choices. I could have joined my husband and our friend. I know he enjoys her and I didn’t feel right joining. On top of that, I know she enjoys having sex with me. She is very good at oral. I’m not that excited being with her or any other woman. I have in the past but not my favorite thing.

 

My other choice was to join my partners wife and our friend. Again, I’m not into joining a woman and I figured the next night I was going to be alone with him. That is something I looked forward to. I didn’t want that to change. Just so you don’t feel bad for me, the next night was fabulous.

The decision I made was to just ride the night out. I don’t know if he is always like this. It wasn’t discussed except on the way home I told my husband. He said he felt my pain. Lol. No he didn’t. He said if it ever happens again I should join him. I said I would but I don’t think I would. I know he likes watching me with another woman.

[Shore2Please 612]

I didn’t ask for more. I should have, I just never did. I tried not to let it end. I was on top and I kept trying. With him in me I kept my moving and think I was coming close. He just lost his enthusiasm. After realizing he wasn’t going to help I gave up. I tried kissing and doing things but I didn’t say give me more. I gave up at went to the bathroom to clean up and pee and heard the other rooms and heard my husband going strong. I went back to the room and he was sleeping. I tried to wake him up. I gave up and about an hour later maybe longer I tried again. Believe me I tried. I used all the ways I know to get him up and tried to get him to do what he did pretty well before. He responded a little, he got bigger just not hard. He even came a little which made it worse for me.

 

The weekend wasn’t a complete dud. The next night was wonderful.

[Newcouple17 101]

Oh dear...hindsight is a wonderful thing isn't it!

 

I have virtually no experience with swinging and I'd like to think I'd be able to get a rise or move on, but lets be honest.....I'd have probably done the same, as its not all about me, I'm also there for my husband and in your case your friends also. Although I definitely wouldn't go back for another attempt!

[Eddiem 139]

All about pleasure and because one is done does not mean the other is. What I live by... now that being said I know a lot of ladies do not like to be taken from behind. Perhaps too animalistic or whatever. My wife with me likes it, however in our first 3some, with a friend (unexpected) he turned her over and entered her from behind. It was animalistic to see but the pleasure and the way he took control I knew she would enjoy. She fell flat on her stomach and drilled her from on top. TBH I have never heard her enjoy sex so much.

 

That being said...I try to hold off as long as possible I grab the signals from the ladies if it is ok for me to finish but not til they are done.

[Numex 2,420]

with a friend (unexpected) he turned her over and entered her from behind. It was animalistic to see but the pleasure and the way he took control I knew she would enjoy. She fell flat on her stomach and drilled her from on top. TBH I have never heard her enjoy sex so much.

 

A lot like my wife. My wife and I make love, have great sex, and explore but when she's playing with someone else she does things we don't do. Fucking like an animal is one of them, slapping, hitting and punching the guy is another. She goes into a world that isn't for someone who she is in love with.

[Eddiem 139]

A lot like my wife. My wife and I make love, have great sex, and explore but when she's playing with someone else she does things we don't do. Fucking like an animal is one of them, slapping, hitting and punching the guy is another. She goes into a world that isn't for someone who she is in love with.

 

Glad to hear you saying that. These out of mind, out of body experiences are super erotic and when done it is like a relief... as I say "monkeys off your back". While she has never slapped or punched she likes a nice slap to the rear and to speak super dirty. Most of the words she would never EVER say (pussy, etc...)even to me but her sexual animal brings them out. Very erotic to hear her say in her soft voice "fuck me, cum in me..." god.

[NoAngels 334]

We met our first couple and it was only once for all of us. It may have been time constraints. We had plenty of play before and some good talking after. I can't talk for other men, I can last but it can take me some time to get it back for a second turn. I just don't stay hard after cumming. I need some encouragement.