Pounding away...

[ChaTam 43]

Hello everyone, first time poster long time lurker. My wife and I are a situational full swap couple. I have a question that I'm curious to get board feedback on. My wife and I are in our mid 40's and have been together for over twenty years. One thing we have come to realize since opening up our relationship is my wife enjoys being fucked hard. For us it's been twenty years of "fuck me harder". It's been so long it's just how we fuck. I find myself self conscious when we play with others. The issue is two fold. The first being I start out with the best of intensions but before I know it, I'm pounding away as I usually do. I mean to take it easy but I get lost in the sexy moment. The second issue is using condoms makes it more difficult for me cum and in an attempt to wrap things up I end up significantly picking up the pace.

 

I've never heard a complaint but I have had playmates tap out. Which of course is no problem at all. I don't mind but I do worry they weren't enjoying the encounter as I had planned. We've had many repeat play dates with friends so I hope/assume my playmate is enjoying herself even though she sometimes has to toss in the towel.

 

So the question is... is pounding away generally enjoyable or do I really need to slow down? Once properly warmed up would you (generally speaking) rather get nailed or slow and gently fucked?

[padoc 1,703]

Mrs Doc likes finesse. She gets bored with mindless pounding.

[PeterJ 948]

My experiences suggest there is wide variance in how vigorously women want to be fucked. Many prefer a “slow hand.” Some, and my wife is one, like to start off at a slow and deliberate pace but as they become more aroused desire hard and fast thrusting. Assuming you are with a new partner who is not distracted by talking a little during sex, it’s probably a good idea to check in with her from time to time to see if she’d like a change (faster/slower, deeper/shallower or harder/gentler) in the pace.

[TricianMike 772]

Variation of speed and intensity. Changing positions. I am not a receptacle for your pounding. As a man don’t you enjoy the changing paces of sex?

[Judy39 145]

Everyone is different, and it never hurts to ask. Even if you happen to meet someone who enjoys hard sex, even then you will score extra points for asking first.

[M1F2KTJ 473]

I call it the difference between fucking and making love. She enjoys both.

[Guest]

Other ladies may shun my response but I love being pounded. I mean, loving sex with hubby is always nice but having had two of them, hubbies tend to be loving and not rough. Part of swinging is getting pounded, its a pleasant change once in a while.

[adamgunn 1,460]

My ex-HW sometimes enjoyed being pounded, sometimes she wanted something slower.

 

My current GF had a pounding experience recently when we were swinging, she seemed to enjoy it at the time but the next couple of days she was rather sore and decided she didn't want to be with the man again.

 

In all depends on the woman, and the situation. You never know . . .

[GMOFLEISURE 221]

Two things: First I've been practicing edging and aspects of Tantric sex for some time. It takes some time and practice to train your sex brain to slow down and back off. The ability is worth it. Second this leads to me often not actually ejaculating. I experience moments of intense pleasure. The moments can be extended & then either continued to unloading, or allowed to subside. As often as not when I have three or more rounds of these partial orgasms I end up as satisfied as if I had the muscle contractions & squirted my load. This has been really handy when in threesomes or foursomes as it lets me fuck more than one partner.

 

Anyway I'd recommend ChaTam start practicing control, with his wife and through mastrubation. Both are useful, or even essential to training oneself for this. I suspect it will also open new communications between him & wife which is never a bad thing.

[ChaTam 43]

Thanks for the advice guys and gals. We've discussed and I'm going to do my best to slow things down. We brought it up to our play partners and though I didn't hear ya show things down, I also didn't here no keep doing what you've been doing. I'll take that to mean slow things down (I'll toss in a little hard fucking here and there still). It's not something I need to enjoy sex. As mentioned vigorous sex is something my wife enjoys. It's been so long its just what comes natural to us.

[Numex 2,416]

From my experience, for what it's worth, it's best to have the full range in your repitoire then be sensitive to your partner-of-the-moment's needs and desires.

[kikonkrome 844]

Gotta listen to you partner playa!! They are all different, which is what makes this fun. I try to go at her pace, but let's face it sometimes you blow it.

 

Try some lube in the condom to help the situation.

[JustAskJulie 2,595]

Recently, we played with a couple and the guy was a bit on the small side. On the upside he seemed to stay towards the walls of my vagina which gave me more sensation (and I'm guessing him as well), unfortunately he also pounded away. At first this felt good as it was pounding my clit and felt pretty good. However, after a bit I had to tap out as it was making me really freaking sore and left me feeling a bit bruised.

 

That said, there are times when I like to get pounded, but I don't want it to go on for a long time. There are times I will ask for it and it's because I know it will drive me over whatever edge I'm on or because I'm getting tired and I know it will drive him over his edge.

 

Short answer: pounding really depends on the situation, pounding away forever is never a good thing.

[ChaTam 43]

Quick update, I know you've all be on the edge of your seat waiting to hear what happened next. We had the opportunity to get together with our friends last Friday. I had expressed in our group chat that I was planning to slow things down. I wasn't sure where that stood to be honest because I never received much feedback. It was as if it wasn't really an issue to her. Even though she never really expressed an option on the topic I decided to follow through and slow things down. I slowed things way down, half speed and I would conclude it was a huge success. She was more vocal while we fucked than she had been in the past. We fucked three times in the same night (I didn't cum every time, we would take half hour/hour long breaks as a group) and that hadn't ever happened before. I also received more flattering messages in the days that followed than I had received in the past. She expressed just how much she had enjoyed herself and said that they couldn't wait to see us again.

 

I feel like it's pretty obvious my slowing down lead to her enjoying herself more than she had in the past. So thanks for helping a fella fuck a little better. At the end of the day we all just wonna be able to fuck a little better, right? :-)

[Jane1902 476]

I like your happy ending. I had an encounter with a pounder; first I said I was getting sore he said he was almost ready to come, said again - still almost and he suggested we change positions, still hurt and I said stop. I didn't have it in me to even think about finishing him off orally. I was done for the night.