Doing MFM threesomes, want FMF threesomes

[Dijonrichter 16]

Hi, my girlfriend and i have hosted a few mfm threesome's, which have gone down smoothly and caused no hard feelings between us. We have had conversations about doing an fmf, but she is really not into girls and can't handle the thought of me with another woman and doesn't want any more conversation about it really. Is there a way to ease her into into it? What can I say to help ease her mind? Should I just drop it? It is even worth pushing?

[couplers 4,652]

When we started it took me a couple of years of me playing alone and MFMs with my husband before I felt comfortable enough to let him be with another woman. It also helped that I chose the women. Just be patient and see what little steps can be taken. For instance, suggest having same room sex with another couple without any swapping. Or doing a couples swap where she can do anything she wants, but you're limited to just doing something soft, maybe even just being there with the other woman watching, then having her do a second round with you.

[Erik13 157]

So it's ok for her to be with another guy but you can't play with another girl? Doesn't seem fair to me...

[Motley 35]

I think most ladies want and deserve to be the center of attention.

[Dijonrichter 16]

Couplers, thanks for the input, I appreciate any assistance I can get, especially from women.

[Dijonrichter 16]

Erik13, it's the agreement we made, so it's fair. But I have felt a little jealous she gets all the fun.

[BabeAndApe 70]

I think most ladies want and deserve to be the center of attention.

 

Want? Sure. We all want that.

Deserve? That's a stretch.

One half of a couple deserves it and the other doesn't?

That's hardly equitable.

All for one and one for all, I say.

[BabeAndApe 70]

When we started it took me a couple of years of me playing alone and MFMs with my husband before I felt comfortable enough to let him be with another woman. It also helped that I chose the women. Just be patient and see what little steps can be taken. For instance, suggest having same room sex with another couple without any swapping. Or doing a couples swap where she can do anything she wants, but you're limited to just doing something soft, maybe even just being there with the other woman watching, then having her do a second round with you.

 

If I were in this situation I'd say "We're done."

 

Goose, meet gander.

[Dijonrichter 16]

To be more clear about our situation: I love seeing her pleasured by another man. It's so hot to see her get pounded and then pound her even harder. Plus, it had brought us to a different, better level of intimacy. I'm not jealous about the men she is with, but I do want her to trust me with another woman and not have negative feelings about it.

[ChaTam 43]

If I were in this situation I'd say "We're done."

 

Goose, meet gander.

 

I don't think that's a fair statement without knowing all the facts.

 

I would suggest taking things at her pace. The only thing you said that made me go ohhh... is when you said she doesn't want more conversation about it. It's true communication is key. In the lifestyle, more conversation is always necessary. Forget the lifestyle, in a marriage conversation never ends.

 

Consider continuing to enjoy mfm and continue to have the conversation. I think if you do that another women will be added to your play, once your wife feels comfortable with it. If you wait until she is comfortable no matter how long it could take, you very likely will both enjoy the experience. If you push and she caves in letting it happen before she is ready, it could blow up in both your faces.

 

Be patient and communicate. And keep enjoying the hot times you are having!

[Erik13 157]

Erik13, it's the agreement we made, so it's fair. But I have felt a little jealous she gets all the fun.

 

I certainly would be jealous too. I love seeing my wife with another man...I don't even join in anymore, just watch. But if she ever told me I couldn't play with a girl, the whole thing would be over.

[Dijonrichter 16]

ChaTam, that's great advice. I'll find a gentle way to talk about it. Hopeful it will at least put the conversation on the table, even if it's a while till woman joins us.

[couplers 4,652]

... I have felt a little jealous she gets all the fun.

 

Isn't it MFM fun for you as well? You are getting half a loaf, so be thankful (there are lots of guys that would be happy to be in your position). You deserve to get what you want as well, but it just takes some time.

[couplers 4,652]

If I were in this situation I'd say "We're done."

 

Goose, meet gander.

 

Fortunately for me, I was not in that situation with you but with David. He loves me that much, and that's why I love him so.

[Guest]

The thing is, we do MFM and the two guys never touch one another. But guys expect FMF to include bi experience, a bit of a double standard. So, we started with MFM and I simply loved it. After several added same room swaps and so forth at the local couples club. Even allowed a couple of girls to go down on me in kind of an FMF with their husbands but with them knowing I wouldn’t reciprocate. So, I kind of tried the bi thing and just couldn’t get into it. Hubby is happy with that. He has no desire to do a man and so can fully understand that I have no desire to do a woman.

[Dijonrichter 16]

Couplers, you're right, it is fun and I do consider myself lucky. I'm also pretty patient, so we will see what happens.

[Dijonrichter 16]

Chiccouplexx, I don't expect her to go both ways at all, not pushing that one

[couplers 4,652]

Chiccouplexx, I don't expect her to go both ways at all, not pushing that one

 

You're right not to push it, but in my experience I would bet that at some point your girlfriend will find a girl who she likes. Perhaps she will never get to full-on mutual pussy licking or finger fucking, but maybe one-way (having it done to her) or at least breast play. Just be patient and give her the opportunities.

[Dijonrichter 16]

So, I went for it, asked to simply open up the conversation for discussion. There was a huge blowup, I slept on the couch, and now, no more threesome's altogether. Not quite how I expected for things to go.

[ChaTam 43]

Sorry to hear things went that way. My suggestion is to put the breaks on the lifestyle. Let things simmer done. Don't be mad at her. She is entitled to her feelings and being angry wont change any of the issues.

 

At this point the fact is she may never be comfortable with the idea of you having sex with another women. I can only speak from my personal experience. My wife was absolutely against swinging. She had no interest whatsoever. I completely backed off the idea. I accepted the fact the lifestyle was not for us and I made the decision my wife and family were more important to me than opening up our marriage. It took my wife and I ten years to get from the point of bringing up the idea to becoming a situational full swap couple. In our personal situation it took many years. I think two things helped us tremendously. The first thing was I backed off. If this was ever going to happen it was going to be my wife leading the way. She needed to feel like she was in complete control. The second thing that I think helped was going to Desire Resort in Mexico. We have been there eight times over that last six years. We love the place. My wife loves the place. At desire we learned a bunch of things the least of which being swingers are normal people. Doctors, lawyers, police and teachers. They're just everyday normal people. It was also there that we shelved our jealousy issues. Desire is not like a club, hotel take over or a couple you meet online. At Desire you spend a week getting to really know people. Once you know a couple you stop worrying about alternative motives. We have meet people at Desire that we now consider some of our best friends. We meet so many intelligent and sexy professionals that in time my wife became comfortable around the lifestyle. We learned how respectful people are of your primary relationship. Desire is an amazing place to vacation but a word of advice is book it with your wife's knowledge. We've seen people spring Desire on their spouse and it usually goes poorly.

 

I'm telling you your wife is making note of your reaction. I don't believe she is putting you to the test today. I don't think this is an evil plan to see how you respond but she is paying attention to how you react. You should not be sleeping on the couch after discussing the lifestyle. Your wife and her feeling always come first. She needs to know you will always have her back. Don't argue with her over this because you are not getting what you want. This is a long game Dijonrichter, think long game. This is the women you will spend the rest of your life with. So thinking along those lines, you have plenty of time to get where you want.

 

Good luck...

 

(My wife absolutely said she would never partake in the lifestyle, last night her and the female half from our really close play friends that we meet at Desire started planning an overnight trip to another city together. The guys are staying home with the kids. I would consider that going from zero to a hundred. If you put your wife and her feelings where they should be, your top priority, you can still get where you want.

 

Arguing is going in the wrong direction. But it's a learning process so don't beat yourself up.