I’m a bigger girl, and think my lady bits and tummy are hideous.

[Skullsaw 17]

My hubby and I have been swinging for about a year. We’ve had fun with two couples, neither of them seemed to mind my insecurities. But I think my lady bits and tummy are just hideous. It’s crippling. I have one child and another on the way, so my body looks nothing like it did before.

 

We have friends who would like to get in the swinging game and want to play with us. The lady is very slim and just beautiful. With a body I could never attain.

 

Has any women been rejected before because the other play partners think her “bits” are ugly or unattractive? I know that confidence is key. Anyone can be extremely sexy if they have confidence. It’s just a fear in the back of my head that I cannot get rid of...

[Alura 2,773]

from Oklahoma, Skullsaw.

 

I think most people think their "bits" are not up to par, Ma'am. It doesn't seem to be your problem, so I'd suggest you swing into life!

 

My late wife loved the months of her pregnancy. No matter what she did, she couldn't have gotten more pregnant. All those months brought about memorable experiences, including a friend who mentioned that he'd never had sex with pregnant woman. His wife had never had sex with me, so...

[Wornsilver 219]

Dear Skullsaw,

 

Virtually every guy on this site will echo Alura's message--your insecurities about your appearance do not matter to us guys. In fact, many men (I'm one of them) think pregnant women are extremely sexy. You can analyze it all you want (maybe it's the fecundity, the fertility, etc, I dunno), but analysis really doesn't explain a lot.

 

There is a growing opinion that I endorse heartily--the skinny, emaciated look of the models and the women thrown to us by the media don't match every guy's dream of what's sexy. Again, many of us prefer something other than that.

 

You are right about the effect of "confidence," but that will come with some time and you might do well to listen to the people you have played with so far. It is like going on a job interview and being told you can't get the job without experience...but how can you get experience without the job??? Well, one thing that is extremely sexy and attractive to men is your attitude. If you are interested in him, he will be interested in you.

 

Good luck.

[Fi86 78]

Darling don't worry about it, there are swingers of all shapes sizes and ages, there is someone for everyone and most are very accepting of anyone. And in my experience there are many men, perhaps even the majority, that actually want and prefer curves on a woman and some padding. Just relax, be confident, and enjoy yourself, this is the most important thing. Don't waste energy on what you think others might be thinking, especially as you're probably wrong.

 

If it gives you any extra confidence my weight fluctuates and my waist measurement can range from a size 14 to 20 (UK). My hips are between 46-49". I always have a tummy and sometimes a belly. I have never once had any problems, been turned down, or been disappointed. Often guys are lining up for me and I'm always getting compliments on my arse. But I'm not a small girl, at all.

 

Also, one of my friends frequently swings, she's very big, size 28 I think. She doesn't have problems, she's not for everyone but she's never been left disappointed either.

 

Lastly I've seen and been with pregnant girls on occasion at a party and once or twice in a club, and they usually have a queue of men behind them going out the door and down the street! And loads of swinging women have had kids, sometimes lots of then, it's fine!

 

Have confidence, and have fun!

[Chris&Suzanne 204]

are bits tits?

[Erik13 157]

are bits tits?

 

I'm wondering the same....

[Alura 2,773]

"Bits" are parts, in this case, the writer's body parts. In England, one buys "bits" for his car, not parts.

[SW_PA_Couple 4,023]

In the UK there are bits and then there are fidly bits.

[GoldCoCouple 4,064]

We have friends who would like to get in the swinging game and want to play with us. The lady is very slim and just beautiful. With a body I could never attain.

 

...and yet they want to play with you so they must not have a problem with how you look. We would be more concerned about playing with friends, but they have already seen you and still choose you. Don't over analyze things. You will ALWAYS be able to find better looking people, but there are less attractive people as well (and they seem to find people to play with as well). Women are always their own worst and harshest critics. Beauty comes from inside and the top is only the first layer.

 

In England cars also have a boot and a bonnet that are not shoes or hats...

[luvin eye full 140]

When we look for others your body is less of a problem than your attitude, that is to say I can and do find something in a chick no matter what her size is if I can make a connection of some type -

 

we are playing for the novelty of having fun with others - not looking for a goddess to take home a keep forever lol.

[wildones8474 21]

I'm a big gal too and its sometimes a big deal to feel secure enough to bare all and really enjoy the sexual experience. Remember that everyone has flaws that they magnify in their head. I do several things to help if I'm feeling bad about my appearance. Wearing lingerie, stockings and so on can help be that's just a short term hide. The biggest thing is to swing with people that support you. As for would be partners not wanting to be with someone because of weight I've never seen happen. I have seen and probably been rejected due to attitude. If you become a quiet wall flower and shy would be partners will tend not to show interest because you may seem unapproachable or you don't want to be there. As for big vs skinny again that's all on your action. Be active, have fun and other will want to have fun with you. And BBWs are far better bed mates than little stick girls and that's a proven fact

 

Have fun and enjoy life while you can. Accept yourself and others will accept you, and the ones that don't aren't worth the time and others will see that.