Update to wife's first experience, no sex, and now we understand your concerns

[mncurious 20]

Hi everyone.

 

We hope everyone had a great Christmas holiday and enjoy New Year's Eve celebrations tomorrow. For those who don't know, we had our first experience opening up our marriage several weeks ago. My wife traveled overseas to be with a guy she met on a previous trip and they spent a full week together having sex and traveling around the region of Africa where he lived. She had a great time and they have a very strong physical attraction to each other. Just for your information, it was the first interracial sexual experience for both of them. There are signs of NRE since her return and they still keep in touch.

 

Since, then, we have dealt with concerns about STD's, re-connecting, and keeping the story straight with our families. Out of almost 20 condoms, one did come off/break and they didn't notice until his cum was already inside of her. She was on prescription birth control and so that's not really a concern for us. My wife wanted to wait to have sex until she was tested for any STDs. I bought condoms for us but she still wanted to wait. Unfortunately, that also bumped right into Christmas where we had to travel to visit family out of state. So now it's been a month and we haven't had sex and will not for at least another two weeks because of work related travel right after the new year. She told her new sexual partner about her negative test results and he's also getting tested again just to give her a sense of relief.

 

As many others have told us, we should have reconnected immediately after she came back, even if it was just MM or toys. My wife just had zero desire to engage in any kind of sexual activity according to her because of concerns over STDs. Now she has tested negative for all STDs, we can connect but there's been no interest from her. Due to our work schedules and family commitments, we are not going to be able to connect sexually now until mid-January. For me, there's no real hurry now because it's been so long since she came back from being with her new lover. They didn't take any pictures or video so far as I know and any excitement from her first time having sex with another guy has settled down because we didn't re-connect right away as almost all of you told us needed to happen. Yes, we messed this one up pretty bad.

 

So this is where we are at right now. Any advice on what we should do now?

 

Other parts of our marriage are still pretty good and the kids have no idea what happened on mom's trip to travel solo. Even before this, she was planning to see him again in 2018 and now it's even more likely given the negative test result. My concern is having intimacy issues when we finally do have time to ourselves in a few weeks, especially since he was the last one to fluid bond with my wife, not me. She still wants to wear condoms until she is tested again in a few months per her ob/gyn.

 

Thank you for the advice and we can take the honest brutal truth from you with more experience than we have right now.

 

Happy New Year's to you and yours.

[bryonboru 60]

If this was her first time with other man there could be an element of guilt in the back of her mind.

 

You have to reassure her that all is fine, she had fun and it was totally good with you. There might also be the concern that now that she had her's you might be wanting your's. Emotions of attachment and jealousy can run deep, keep the communications open and tell her how you feel.