Do all women use back up birth control when playing?
By
njbm, in Swinging Situational HELP!
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By udsarge
Speaking as a recent snip-"ee", does the fact that a potential playmate has had a vasectomy a plus, a minus, or doesn't even factor into consideration when evaluating a new partner in the lifestyle?
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By Dont.Stop
We are 40-somethings, less than six months into the lifestyle. But we've played plenty in that time. Met a couple a a party last weekend. 50-somethings, and plenty experienced. We got to talking and touching in the pool. While Mrs. DontStop and the male continued pool play, I led the female upstairs. Since it was obvious from the underwater action she was ready to mount me right there, I told as we headed up that we play safe. She said ok, but her husband didn't have any condoms.
We played upstairs and later they joined us. After some time he was ready to mount Mrs and we stopped him and said "You gotta wrap it first."
He didn't say much after that, and within in a few minutes he said he was taking a break and left the room, and us in a FMF situation.
Did we fail here, not expressing safe play to him ahead of time?
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By prometheius
I thought it would be interesting to find out other peoples views on the subject of safe sex/being surgically safe. N8tureGirl and I have been in the lifestyle for just over a year now, and we’ve found that most of the males of the couples we’ve played with are not surgically safe. I am V-safe and as of this month, N8tureGirl will be surgically safe also. What I would like to know is: Why don’t more people address this issue? I do realize that there may be some people out here that might still wish to have children, but for the most part, if they haven’t had kids by now, what are they waiting for? After all, most of us here are 30 somethings or older. I have been frustrated by people, (men in particular), who seem to think that it should be our responsibility to make sure a pregnancy doesn’t happen. Condoms don’t always work, and most people say that they don’t like using them since it does change the sensations felt or not felt. To further my opinion on this matter, sterilization is much less expensive and uncomfortable for the men than the women.
When we got into swinging, we didn’t think about the fact that we were going to have to spend thousands (literally), on having the Mrs. fixed so she could enjoy herself without that concern hanging over her head. We’ve been told by more than one man that he was afraid that having the procedure done would hurt. This is a WTF moment for me, is there no pain in bearing a child? What about the financial pain of raising an unplanned child, or worse yet, the emotional pain of terminating an unwanted pregnancy? To me, this smacks of being self centered and makes me want to tell the guy that he can play with us once he gets his business taken care of. Fortunately, that will soon no longer be an issue for us.
I just wanted to hear other peoples' opinions on this issue.
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By ErikaAndPeter
As newbies, my husband Peter and I have learned so much here. We greatly appreciate the community at Swingers Board. As we are seeking to become more involved in swinging, one of our concerns is pregnancy. We are both fertile. If I were to become pregnant, either by Peter or another man, it would be easy for me to have an abortion. However, if he impregnated another woman, it would be up to her to decide what to do, without us having any say. Peter does not like condoms, and of course they can fail. I am urging him to consider having a vasectomy. We are wondering what more experienced couples have faced in terms of pregnancies, vasectomies, or tubal ligations. Also, what situation in the poll best applies to you?
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By funat40
Hi, guys. Long-time lurker, first-time poster.
My wife and I have shared a long-time fantasy involving her blowing a room full of guys. Until recently, this was nothing more than a fantasy we would share in the "heat of the moment." But recently, we decided to turn this fantasy into a reality. We recruited a bunch of single guys from a popular swinger's web site, picked a date, and planned to book a hotel room.
However...the closer we got to this date, the colder our feet became. So we contacted all the guys to let them know the "event" has been put on hold.
The issue for us is the threat of contracting some nasty STD. We've done extensive reading on the subject, and every legitimate site advises you to never have oral sex without a condom, dental dam, etc.. But let's face it -- they HAVE to give you that advice. Of course there is a risk of contracting an STD through oral sex, and to advise someone to have unprotected oral sex would be considered reckless.
But realistically, no one wants to use a condom or dental dam for oral sex. (It would ruin our fantasy, frankly.) No couple we have ever been with has used protection for oral sex. And no one really knows the risk factors involved in having unprotected oral sex (because most people don't limit their exposure to only oral sex.) In reality, some STD's can (and are) transmitted through kissing, hot tubs and even skin-to-skin contact. And statistics show that more than half the people in the US over age 21 have some form of STD. Some STD's don't show up in testing, and others don't reveal themselves through symptoms for weeks, months or even years (if ever.) So most people with STD's don't even know they have them!
We've also read that when performing unprotected oral sex, it is safest to either swallow the cum immediately (letting the stomach acid kill the bacteria) or spit it out immediately. Either way, you are risking exposure to STD's through the exchange of bodily fluids and the thin membranes in the mouth and throat. So, whether you spit, swallow or stop before it gets to the point, you are equally at risk.
The thing is, as swingers, she has sucked several dicks without protection. Were they safer because they were married dicks? Are married guys safer than single guys? If a married guy's wife sucked a dozen dicks the week before you met them, wouldn't having sex with her be just as risky as sucking a dozen dicks yourself?
I guess my question is: is there any more risk in blowing a room full of single guys than having sex with a married couple who may have had unprotected sex with dozens of others prior to meeting you?
Is there a "safe way" to fulfill this fantasy of ours? Or are some fantasies better left as fantasies?
You all give great opinions here, and we value your advice. Thanks in advance.
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