How do I do this...

[Audjbr 16]

My bf is really wanting to do a full swap. We have done MFM and he was totally fine with it and wants to do that again too. But i just am so worried about how I’ll feel with him being with another woman and all. Idk how to be ok with it like he is with me being with another guy. I’m just worried that i won’t like seeing it even though I’ll be with another guy. Any advice?!?

[Fi86 78]

Remember it's just fun and sex. Not love. Relax and enjoy, you'll be fine.

[luvin eye full 140]

Ok this happens more then you think for both sides - so what can you do about it - if any thing.

 

Ask your self why you would feel this way about him? realy think about it.

 

Know that it's ok not to be ok with it.

Talk out your feelings with him,

 

Or us if needed.

Also what could you do with him and a couple? soft swap etc..

[Lionheart72 2,190]

My advice...

 

Identify the source of your concern. If you could give the emotion a name, what would it be? Jealousy? Self-doubt? Fear (of what)? Once you know what the problem is, you can address it. Talk to your BF. Tell him you have this concern and what it is. Sometimes, for me, that's enough... I tell my wife what's bothering me, she smiles and I know everything is going to be ok. Or, she says "Oh, well I hadn't thought of that. We won't do that after all." Sometimes it's a long conversation, sometimes just saying the problem out loud is enough.

 

The one thing, IMO, is that if your relationship is ready for a full swap, you can have that conversation and if you can't have that conversation, you aren't ready for a full swap anyway.

[Audjbr 16]

I think it’s insecurities about myself. I’ve had two failed marriages and always was faithful. We never ever discussed anything like this. And jealousy that comes from my insecurities...what if he likes her body better...what if she gives better oral etc. I’ve been cheated on by first husband and maybe that’s where some of this comes from and i just always thought one man for one woman....but since we’ve done the MFM and he was totally ok with it...i see he can separate sex and love. I’m just scared if i can’t.

[Lionheart72 2,190]

I think it’s insecurities about myself. I’ve had two failed marriages and always was faithful. We never ever discussed anything like this. And jealousy that comes from my insecurities...what if he likes her body better...what if she gives better oral etc. I’ve been cheated on by first husband and maybe that’s where some of this comes from and i just always thought one man for one woman....but since we’ve done the MFM and he was totally ok with it...i see he can separate sex and love. I’m just scared if i can’t.

 

That's a good start. Now, tell him all of this. The key to success in swinging, in any relationship really but especially in swinging, is communication. You need to be able to talk to him about anything, know that he is really listening and really listen to him in return. When we just started swinging, a wise man said to me - "If I can watch my wife suck another man's dick, I can talk to her about anything." As we were watching his wife do just that, I've always felt he knew what he was talking about.

 

That said, it may be that you can't handle him being with another woman. That's ok. Most people aren't wired for the lifestyle. Also, it isn't a quid pro quo... just because you've done MFM, doesn't mean you have to do a MFF or a full swap in order to "balance things out."

 

Again, talk to him. Work through these feelings. See where the conversation takes you. Be honest with him, be honest with yourself. Communicate, communicate, communicate.

[JustAskJulie 2,595]

The good news is that you'll get little opportunities to test your response before you have to see him in bed with someone else. Start slow, see how you respond to him kissing someone else, making out with someone else, touching someone else, etc. If you feel uncomfortable say so and back things off and talk about it.

[luvin eye full 140]

Hi

 

Yes sadly some poeple take your good will and love and throw it down the tolet as some of your PAST partners have.

 

But also just as powerful are those that let you be you - like your now partner.

 

So as above the advise is sound - i would say talk and talk and talk to your now partner and let him know the why's and where fors - but also take in what he says back.

 

Perhaps a soft swap where the others know your not sure and are willing to stop at any given moment would be a start.

 

Most importantly - you need to feel safe, most if not all the couples i know in the LS also need this - yet there bonking each other all the time - why -

 

Because they talk to each other and do not hold back what is ok and what is not... take it slow and for you i think explore with your partner and a couple that is happy to see where it takes you.

[Audjbr 16]

Well we have the ‘rule’ no kissing but hear a lot start out with that and quickly get rid of that rule. Idk. This is just difficult for me to feel ok with He’s a very friendly guy and all and idk this is all so new to me and the. Him being so Ok with MFM was weird but he was and would do it again and wants to.

[luvin eye full 140]

Well he probably trusts you and that's why it's not as hard for him because he can see that you two are the primiry's and anything else is just fun.

 

But that does not mean you should just roll over and do things your not ready for - he seems a ok guy from the little you posted so that makes me think you can talk to him about all your concerns and go as slow as you need to. - hell you may never be ok with it.

 

and that's OK you have the right to feel the way you do - as does he - now how will you both respect each others wishes and how will that look for outside sex is only something the two of you can find.

[Eddiem 139]

My bf is really wanting to do a full swap. We have done MFM and he was totally fine with it and wants to do that again too. But i just am so worried about how I’ll feel with him being with another woman and all. Idk how to be ok with it like he is with me being with another guy. I’m just worried that i won’t like seeing it even though I’ll be with another guy. Any advice?!?

 

All about trust. He wants you to enjoy yourself. Do it together and take your mind to a different place. I would talk about it first and your reservations.

[couplers 4,638]

... I’m just worried that i won’t like seeing it even though I’ll be with another guy. Any advice?!?

 

It hurt me and made me jealous the first time. So much so that I couldn't wait to do it again. Taking him back with her smell on him was exquisite. Sometime later she let me watch, more wonderful feelings. Now I look for ways to regain those early days feelings of jealousy and pain. It does help that I am in love with our girlfriend and can now be jealous of them both. I truly envy you.