How are wives feeling when seeing their hubbies touch other women?

[alfitos 17]

Hi Everyone

 

We are a young married couple 35 and 37 years old and been together since 16 and 18 years of age. We are pretty new to this LS and with little experience. We have gone to clubs in Europe, but not done anything too serious, mostly just enjoyed the environment and played with ourself. We have thought about meeting up with couples, for soft swinging if we would like them, however we are so unsure about how we would feel, that we are hesitant.

 

The husband has read quit a lot of threads here and has maybe a better idea on how far he could go but wife is anxious about how she would feel with him just touching another women as the feeling of thinking about it gives her an uncomfortable feeling, in the pit of her stomach.

 

She would like to try MFM first since that is the only scenario where she does not get a anxious thinking about him

he however is more comfortable with meeting couples, specially couple that have been in a long term relations ship.

 

Do we all feel this way in the beginning? and does it go away ?

or is this just not for us since this uncomfortable feeling comes up?

[padoc 1,703]

Do we all feel this way in the beginning? and does it go away ?

or is this just not for us since this uncomfortable feeling comes up?

 

Yes, I think most people feel that way initially. What you're contemplating is out of the general norm of society and really goes against the moral strictures that have dominated the US since the days of the puritans.

 

If you can't get past the pangs of conscience or insecurity and jealousy than swinging is probably not a good hobby for you. Consider initially limiting your activities to watching/being watched, same room sex with another couple but restricted to spousal contact only, or soft swap. Jumping right into a full swap situation can work but may be too big a 1st step for you.

 

Does you husband not share your feelings of jealousy? If he does, a MFM may not be the best place for you to start. If you don't pick a really good extra man, your husband may feel left out and left behind by you unless he wants the cuckold experience. This hobby isn't for everyone but if you can get beyond those feelings together, the erotic fun is well worth the effort. We've been doing this since 2003 and hope to continue till we're too old or ugly to get naked any more.

[Fundamental Law 2,885]

Hi Everyone

 

We are a young married couple 35 and 37 years old and been together since 16 and 18 years of age. ...

 

Do we all feel this way in the beginning? and does it go away ?

 

or is this just not for us since this uncomfortable feeling comes up?

 

Welcome to the board.

 

You are young, and yet you are not young marrieds. You have been married--to each other--longer than you have not been married to each other.

 

Here is the question that you should answer for yourselves, and for each other. Do you love each other enough to commit to spending the rest of your lives together? Is there anything--anything?--that could or would tear you apart from each other? If so, what?

 

The fact that you are hesitant is normal. It means you see value in your marriage that you are unwilling to risk. You are that important to each other.

 

Now here is the secret. Couples that are indeed hesitant, couples that value each other and their marriage above all else, those are the couples who will find the lifestyle wonderful. They are unwilling to cheat on each other. And giving each other permission to play, to have a bit of physical pleasure in each other's presence and with each other's consent, typically does not put such marriages at risk.

 

Pretend it is not 2018 but 2058. You are now 75 and 77 years old. What memories do you want? That you spent 4 decades wondering? Or that you spent 4 decades exploring together?

 

Good luck on your journey.

[couplers 4,652]

...Do we all feel this way in the beginning? and does it go away ?

or is this just not for us since this uncomfortable feeling comes up?

 

Not all have these feelings, but I did. They haven't gone away, but now I enjoy them - the feelings that another woman enjoys my partner, that he is having fun, having intense "reclaiming" sex with him after they finish. It is addictive. It is like the good feeling after intense exercise that hurts. It is like riding a scarey roller coaster and wanting to get on again.

[GoldCoCouple 4,066]

Yes, as said above, couples that don't care about what they are doing are the ones to worry about. The couples that are concerned about their partner more often than not are going to do well...or realize that this isn't for them and walk away. Back in my younger days, I was VERY jealous of my partner, but with my current partner, I KNOW that she is coming home with me. That this is just something we do together and enjoy it.

 

Love/trust/communication are all paramount in the relationship but as long as you have an abundance of all three, it seems like the jealousy stays away. Getting to the point where you have all three in abundance is the much harder part. No matter what, you never can be sure what you will feel until you get to the actual point of it happening. Keep checking in with your partner and don't be hesitant if you decide you are not ready yet (do NOT continue forward because you don't want to ruin their good time - it's called 'taking one for the team' and it almost never ends well). Take your time, talk, be TOTALLY honest with each other and (if you decide to move forward) move forward as a team. Whatever you do, however, don't do this because it is something he wants to do and you don't. Go together because you BOTH want to or don't go at all. Good luck and let us know what you choose to do.

[B&H 23]

Welcome to the board.

 

You are young, and yet you are not young marrieds. You have been married--to each other--longer than you have not been married to each other.

 

Here is the question that you should answer for yourselves, and for each other. Do you love each other enough to commit to spending the rest of your lives together? Is there anything--anything?--that could or would tear you apart from each other? If so, what?

 

The fact that you are hesitant is normal. It means you see value in your marriage that you are unwilling to risk. You are that important to each other.

 

Now here is the secret. Couples that are indeed hesitant, couples that value each other and their marriage above all else, those are the couples who will find the lifestyle wonderful. They are unwilling to cheat on each other. And giving each other permission to play, to have a bit of physical pleasure in each other's presence and with each other's consent, typically does not put such marriages at risk.

 

Pretend it is not 2018 but 2058. You are now 75 and 77 years old. What memories do you want? That you spent 4 decades wondering? Or that you spent 4 decades exploring together?

 

Good luck on your journey.

 

Glad I found this post. It sums up what my wife and I have been trying to verbalize and can’t find the words. We are dipping our toes into the water for the first time next week. We had the talk and set our boundaries. This will be a big help for both of us. Thanks.

[Guest]

We weren’t married when we started although we were much older than the two of you. I suggested that we start with MFM because of my concerns about how I would feel seeing him with another woman, and a lack of interest in any bi activity between me and another woman. First, I really enjoyed MFM much more than I ever expected. We had the first and two weeks later, I arranged a 2nd. After several, we tried a swap. I was ok with that one. The next one, the guy gave me a wham bam and then I laid there listening to the other lady have multiple orgasm as she rode hubby’s tongue and then his cock. I guess the lesson is, there are times when I’m loving it all, and when you get with a guy that is not so good, then its not so good. But, that’s all true whether you are swinging or just dating…….