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Does anyone else get turned on by cheating?

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I'm 30 & my wife is 25 and we've been married for almost 7 years. Because of my work & her grad school, we're in two different cities at present. In one of my earlier post I mentioned that she used to be super conservative, but started to open up slowly. She also knows about my fantasies regarding swinging, hotwifing or showing her off.

 

Last night we were Skyping and doing some stuff to keep ourselves occupied. At one point she was super horny and asked me would I be mad if I get to know that she had been somewhat intimate with another guy. I told her that she knows these stuff turn me on immensely, but the only condition is to let me know everything.

 

This went for a while and when we both were done with our things​, I asked her what actually happened. Since then she just mentioned that nothing serious happened as she didn't wanna linger that discussion.

 

Now, either because I would like to fantasize about it or cause of some hints she mentioned, I really think there was more to it. And the thing is that it is not bothering me, rather turning me so on that I'm kinda struggling at work today. Has anyone of you guys experienced​ it the same way?

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Is it cheating, specifically, or the idea of scandal/promiscuity that turns you on?

 

I'm not sure how to distinguish my feeling between those two. I have always enjoyed when she has been slightest promiscuous & she knows that. Even the idea of her being getting intimate with a guy without​ my permission/letting me know (which could be labeled as cheating I guess) is turning me on big time.

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Cheating is usually frowned upon in the swing community. I'm thinking what you are talking about is 'hotwifing'...where she is allowed to have sex with others and then tells you about it. Do so research and see if this is more of what you have in mind.

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Hi. New here. I’m not sure if this fits here. My first post. I travel a lot for business. Not proud to say I cheated a number of times. My wife caught on and it wasn’t a pleasant time for me. I can tell you she wasn’t turned on by cheating. She at some point asked how I would feel if she slept around. Don’t know why I said she should. Our deal was that we had to be honest. Our other deal was not to fall for anyone. I never thought she would do it. She did. It hurt. I never showed the hurt. Over time our truthfulness led to some crazy stories. I hoped her stories were embellished. I think we tried to one up each other. It became funny and sexy and led to some crazy sex. Recently it led us here.

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My first wife and I were together from the late ‘60s through the late ‘70s, basically the period of our 20s. We were both pretty curious about sex and not scrupulous about fidelity. We should have been more explicit with one another about what was permissible and what wasn’t in terms of sex with others.

 

Once, when I came back from a lengthy business and pleasure trip we got into bed and she asked if while on the trip I’d had sex with a woman we both knew, who I was going to be staying with for a few days. I admitted I had. At that point she told me she’d been having sex with our next-door neighbor, one of her medical-school classmates, adding that they had talked about fixing me up for sex with his (recently-acquired) wife, a nurse.

 

I found this revelation literally breathtaking. And completely unexpectedly, in a good way. A very good way. I was so turned on. We were already naked in bed and we immediately began fucking. It was more than 40 years ago and I can’t recall how many times she came, but I did three times before we were finished.

 

She told me she’d recently broken off this sexual liaison but I was seriously tempted to suggest we renew it, this time as a four-way. (She said her lover had complained about his wife that her pussy was so tight he could barely find his way into it, at which point — bless her heart — she told him that with the size of my erect penis sex with his wife would be a non-starter. :-)

 

This was the point in my life at which I realized I was wired sexually a bit differently than many others. We later had a soft swing with another couple and I deeply enjoyed watching her jack the other guy to orgasm several times. (It slightly distracted me from my task of pleasuring his wife.)

 

My then wife and I several times discussed swinging, but our schedules were busy and there was not the internet through which to make connections, nor a place like this one, providing helpful advice to novices. So, it never happened, and a few years later, worn from the stresses of medical and graduate school and the poverty that went with it, we divorced.

 

And now she and I are old. She’s a grandmother. After a period of estrangement that lasted decades, we are again friends, both quite happy in our lengthy marriages. (She has implied that she and her husband no longer have sex, and that she’s fine with that.) We live a a little more than an hour from each other and with our spouses sometimes see each other in social situations with mutual friends. Several times a year she and I have lunch together and catch up. Her hair is white and her face is wrinkled. But I still think she’s attractive and sometimes looking at her across the table in the restaurant, in my mind’s eye I picture us as young and fucking our brains out. And when I think of her having sex with other men at that time in our lives, it still really turns me on.

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That's the sweetest cheating story I've ever heard.

 

Cheating doesn't do anything for me, per se. The hint of promiscuity or a sporting attitude toward sex, though, really does. I really started to figure this out about myself after the high school sweetheart and I broke it off for good, and details would come out about what was going on. I didn't just like fucking her, I liked her getting fucked, and the same was true of other college girls I was messing around with. One knew well enough to take pictures sometimes and send them along, but otherwise, I generally kept it fairly clean with girls I was dating until I was in my early 20s.

 

Then I was past pretending and had more experience, knew what I liked, and was more comfortable finding women who liked it, too. Some of the best head I've ever gotten is from women opening up about the other trouble they've gotten into. Finding in Mrs. E somebody who had been pretty sheltered and wanted a man to encourage her to have some adventures was like striking oil.

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We're apart for like 4 months now & around 6 more months to go. We meet like once a month for 5-6 days. Like I said over there, she started about it when we were bz Skyping. She started by saying would I be mad if i knew that she kinda cheated. So I asked her little more and it went for a while.

 

At the beginning she was kinda vague. She started by talking about a small party​ she'd been to last weekend. I knew from the last party​ she had some sexy experiences, although not too much. But by her previous super conservative social lifestyle (she's muslim), still hugging guys and dancing with them was quite a progress.

 

She told me after returning from the party on that day that she danced with a guy for long. He was grinding her big time and she didnt stop coz she enjoyed it too.Anyways, grinding & getting cozy were the extent of that what she said after the party.

 

But last night she started mentioning that there was groping for a longer while. She enjoyed it coz most ppl didnt know her at the party​ as she went there only a friend.

I asked her how much of groping and she said that he held onto her ass for the whole time & never let it go. Slowly she told me more that while grinding from behind, he had full on grabbing of her boobs & she just kept enjoying.

 

She still hasn't told me everything for sure. It's like she's also enjoying playing this game, which is kinda sweet though. Hopefully tomorrow will know a little more.

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In my life (I'm in my late '60s) I've had four women who have entered into swinging and/or hotwifing situations. And my two wives also cheated on me (that is, they had sex with others without my knowledge or permission.)

 

I love the idea that they screwed other men, even when they cheated. But I hated feeling that I couldn't trust them - that's what cheating does.

 

To the OP - if this is something that turns you on, I suggest you tell her that it's okay with you for her to have teasing or full-on sexual relations with others, under whatever circumstances you two decide on. But have her fully tell you about it at a time of the two your choosing. Do not allow a 'cheating' relationship to fester.

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My wife couldn't cheat on me for two reasons: she's allowed to have sex with others, no preclearance required, and second, she feels the need to talk to me about everything (we're BFF ;) ).

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So I'm on the other end of this as a Hotwife, and even though I know my husband approves and has given me a hall pass so to speak, I treat each encounter as an illicit affair.  I like the feel of cheating, it turns me on so much.  I travel for work a lot so I pick up a lot of guys in a hotel bars and have a lot of hotel sex.  

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      She did what she was asked and we visited for about another 20 minutes, giving John the opportunity to stare at Sue's totally sheer bra, still exposing her tits and nipples the entire time...and left for home.  On the drive, Sue did say that John was a very friendly person.  I told her that John and I would be talking the next day to get his feelings but that she needed to be prepared for anything because of her prior indiscretion with the previous John.  All she replied with was "OK, I understand."
       
      John and I had our conversation and he said the night couldn't have gone better and that he was very attracted to Sue, and that he also just had a very good feeling of a relationship between the three of us.  I told him I agreed. 
       
      When I got home, Sue asked how my conversation with John went.  I told her that he was attracted to her and he enjoyed the sex with her.  I asked Sue if she would be upset if I told her that he was the one I was going to pick for her to start fucking on a regular basis and she said if that is what she needed to do to regain trust that she could do it as she also felt they were compatible in bed, and she also liked the conversation the three of us had and felt we all could be friends. 
       
      But Sue didn't know what would be happening next.  I told Sue that John and I discussed how "moving forward" would look like and that we both were in agreement.  I then gave Sue John's phone number and told her he was expecting her call.  That from now on the two of them would communicate with each other but Sue, unlike with the previous John, needed to tell me every time she and John would be getting together. Again, Sue understood and said she promised to be totally honest with me about anything to do with John and she was willing to do whatever I wanted her to do, given what had previously happened. 
       
      I then looked at Sue and told her to call John, and I wanted her to be "forward" with him on the phone and that she first needed to ask him if he felt comfortable after meeting the two of us (I already knew how he was going to answer).  I then instructed Sue to specifically say on the phone that she was "also very comfortable both in conversation, as well as being in bed with him."  Sue then stated, at my request, "I'm interested in seeing you on a regular basis if you are.  And if you can commit to not dating any women on the side, I'll commit to having sex with you, pretty much whenever you want.  And, one more thing, if you are ok with it, I'd rather you no longer wear a condom." 
       
      And that started what turned out to be about a 15 year relationship where we are all still friends today. About two months after they started seeing each other, John called me and asked about the possibility of Sue working for him part time.  He was thinking about her going to his house two days a week, just half days.  One day would be to work on calling back customers who call to set up an appointment with him, and another half day to take care of sending out the bills, and making bill payments to suppliers, etc. 
       
      I had an idea pop into my head because I was still of the mindset of "punishing" Sue for cheating on me earlier.  John really liked my idea and now I was going to tell Sue.  When I told Sue what John had asked and what he and I decided she initially thought it was asking too much...but I reminded her about how hurtful her cheating had been and that I really needed her to do this. 
       
      Sue was a teacher and was about to have almost three full months off.  I told her that John would be paying her to work part time out of his house for two days a week.  She needed to be at his house around 7:30 in the morning to review his schedule so she could set up appointments for him to meet with people calling asking for a quote of construction work, and then on the second day she would handle all the billing that needed to be either paid, or invoiced. 
       
      She looked at me perplexed as if to say, "Ok, what's the big deal?" I then told her that EVERY day she went to his house to work that she was not allowed to wear a bra, and had to wear a top that was revealing either because of sheerness or being low cut. 
       
      After her saying, "Are your serious?", I responded, "You are damn right I'm serious, and frankly it's all because you were fucking the other John without telling me.  Now I'll know for the next three months what you'll be doing, and the plan is that you and John will be fucking each other each day, and sometimes 2X a day (when you first get there, and when he comes home for lunch). 
       
      She said, "Ok, I get it, but I hope this is coming to the end of it."  I then had her call John and had her say the following to him, "I hear  you have a job opening for me, can you confirm the dress code and expectations that I just heard from my husband."  She listened to his response and said "When do you want me to start?.  And for the next three months she arrived at John's house, always with a sweater on in case she got stopped by a police officer or if something weird happened on her way "to work." And the first thing she did when she got in the house was take her sweater off. 
       
      The very first time she was to go to work she came downstairs and took her sweater off and said, "Does this meet  your approval?"  She was obviously braless, wearing a thin, low cut tank top with low arm holes exposing plenty of side boob, and you could make out the color of her nipples through the top.  I told Sue I couldn't have picked out better work attire and then she went to work. 
       
      During the three months doing this I had to go on a business trip for a few days so I called John and told him to call Sue and ask her out to dinner and make plans to spend some time at his house.  I also told John I wanted "photo proof of him fucking her so I know she went."  This was also going to be a test to see if Sue would be honest about telling me what she was going to do. 
       
      About 30 minutes after talking with John, Sue called me.  She told me that John had asked her out to dinner and wanted to make sure I was ok with that?  She said it felt like she was going "on a date" rather than just being a friend with benefits.  I told her it felt the same way to me, and considering that she pretty much "went on dates" with the previous John without my knowledge, that she now needed to realize that she was about to start dating John WITH my knowledge.  She asked how much longer she needed to go through with this and I told her I hadn't even started to think about that yet because I had been hurt so much. 
       
      So Sue and John had their first "date" while I was away on business.  John sent me an email that included an attachment.  He laughingly wrote: "As you requested, my first date with your wife happened.  I also told her that you asked me to inform her that you wanted her to agree to start "dating me" rather than just me fucking her.  And she agreed to it, so once she's back teaching and can't come over during the summer anymore, she is going to start seeing me for longer periods of time rather than coming over for an hour to fuck each other, we'll grab dinner or take a drive somewhere."
       
      John also told me to watch the attachment as he sent "more than a photo".  I opened the attachment and saw two things: a photo of my wife's face with his cock in her mouth, pressing her cheek from the inside so I could see his cock bump pushing out her cheek. And he also sent me a video that lasted a few minutes of him fucking her.  He told me not to worry, that he'd delete both the photo and video, but I told him I wanted him to keep it so he'd always be able to look back on how they looked fucking each other. 
       
      And that relationship lasted around 15 years.  After fucking John about 10 times Sue told me that she noticed something different and wanted to be honest with me.  I asked her what she was talking about.  She said it felt like John was "fucking" her at times like he was paying for it but other times it was more emotional, it was starting to feel like he was "making love" to her. I told her I guess that would be normal after seeing someone consistently that you liked.  I told her I was ok with that. 
       
      She then said she was starting to feel like she was making love to him at times, that it was emotional for her as well feeling like she was giving her body to someone she cared about as a friend.  She wasn't having any feelings of being in love with him, but she was getting some emotional connection where she wanted to give herself to him when they saw each other.  It turned me on. The frequency of sex got less over the last couple of years but he and I estimated, that not counting the three months she worked for him and they fucked anywhere from 2-4 times a week, that he had fucked her somewhere between 50-100 times. 
       
      And to this day, years later, the thought that she's been fucked so much by the same guy is a turn-on.  We all still remain friends today.  I thought that would be the end of our openess in our marriage but there would be two other men that would enter our lives, both of which got substantial time with my hotwife.  And she wanted it. 
       
      If you'd like to read about it, let me know and I'll write it up.
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