Swinging introductions?

[Newcouple17 101]

Okay so we've a few mixed feelings regarding meetings. Our limited and very recent experiences have been a little mixed, but the first couple we swapped with have sort of been with us all the way through I guess. Well they've invited us to meet them and another couple at a hotel for the weekend shortly. They've sent us photos and told us about them, although we haven't spoken to them directly yet, they sound nice and are apparently looking forward to meeting us?

I suppose we're wondering if this is the norm for meeting new people, other than going to a club, which we're reluctant to do at the moment after our last time.

We're both keen to carry on swinging/swapping and this way takes away a number of potential problems?

[njbm 2,871]

If you are new to swinging, there are numerous formats. Meeting a couple or couples, house parties, clubs, vacations, cruises, etc. Try different things. I personally like to meet another couple, play, have or go out to dinner. Not big on clubs unless we go with a couple we know. We find it hard to meet a new couple at random. See what you like, but don’t do anything you don’t want to do.

[Newcouple17 101]

Yes we've played with them 3 times already and I suppose as their suggesting the whole weekend obviously they'll be more than just sex....which will be nice?

We don't feel that we're ready for vacations or cruises just yet and don't think house parties are our thing? And we definitely have mixed feelings about going back to a club after the last incident!

We've also tried the online thing and to be honest gave up extremely disappointed!

I guess we're just wondering if meeting new people through mutual friends is a good idea?

[GoldCoCouple 4,065]

Personally, I don't like odd numbers (as in 3 couples). The problem that can (but may not) arise is if one of the three couples doesn't like BOTH of the other couples. It's too easy for two of the couples to get together and leave the third couple as odd man out. Not that it will, but unless we meet the third couple first in neutral ground outside of play, we try to steer away from situations like this. Once more time, just our personal feelings based on experience; your mileage may vary, but we try not to invite problems to the party.

[Newcouple17 101]

Personally, I don't like odd numbers (as in 3 couples). The problem that can (but may not) arise is if one of the three couples doesn't like BOTH of the other couples. It's too easy for two of the couples to get together and leave the third couple as odd man out. Not that it will, but unless we meet the third couple first in neutral ground outside of play, we try to steer away from situations like this. Once more time, just our personal feelings based on experience; your mileage may vary, but we try not to invite problems to the party.

 

And this is why I love it here....people listen and theres usually a different perspective!

I hadn't even thought of that, I guess I haven't thought that far into the dynamics of the actual meet......which is the most relevant part!!

Although it does give us another negative to take into account...

[SW_PA_Couple 4,024]

The late, great British-American radio and television commentator, Alistair Cook, sometimes commented that there is no rule that says you are going to like your friends' friends. Out of your own life's experience in the vanilla world I'm sure you know this to be true. A meeting of three couples is always at least a little bit awkward, even if all know each other. Not knowing one couple increases the possibility of awkwardness.

 

We have gone into such meetings with success. But these meeting have all be at the suggestion of one particular couple whom we have known for a long time and in whose judgement we trust.

 

So, whether you do it or not depends, I suppose, on how adventurous you are feeling.

[lcmim 1,082]

The couple doing the "organizing" apparently knows both of the other couples.

This takes it out of the realm of random contact and makes it more of a blind date.

The question is how well do the organizers play yenta?

[Newcouple17 101]

The late, great British-American radio and television commentator, Alistair Cook, sometimes commented that there is no rule that says you are going to like your friends' friends. Out of your own life's experience in the vanilla world I'm sure you know this to be true. A meeting of three couples is always at least a little bit awkward, even if all know each other. Not knowing one couple increases the possibility of awkwardness.

 

We have gone into such meetings with success. But these meeting have all be at the suggestion of one particular couple whom we have known for a long time and in whose judgement we trust.

 

So, whether you do it or not depends, I suppose, on how adventurous you are feeling.

 

Yes quite.

Well they are pretty attractive and our friends have made them out to sound great, but yes all that doesn't mean we'll hit it off and want to go further?

Saying that I in particular am feeling rather adventurous!

Although I guess we've got some talking to do.

[Newcouple17 101]

The couple doing the "organizing" apparently knows both of the other couples.

This takes it out of the realm of random contact and makes it more of a blind date.

The question is how well do the organizers play yenta?

 

Definitely......they reckon we'll get on fantastically??

[Newcouple17 101]

Well after discussing our friends offer last night we told them that we were a little concerned how the dynamics would work, they seemed to understand. Anyway this morning we've received several messages and pictures. It seems that the new couple talked to our friends and they know another couple that apparently want to join us all, so there would be 4 couples.

This would mean that we wouldn't know or slept with 2 of the other couples and the other 3 couples would each have 1 other couple they don't know either?

Everyone else seems to think this would solve our worries??

[padoc 1,703]

This is sounding better and better!!!4 couples always seemed to us to work better than 3. Your odds increase and hell…that means EIGHT boobs to fondle! We've found swinging to be an erotic adventure. It sounds like you guys are about to have one. We'd all like a full report!

[Newcouple17 101]

This is sounding better and better!!!4 couples always seemed to us to work better than 3. Your odds increase and hell…that means EIGHT boobs to fondle! We've found swinging to be an erotic adventure. It sounds like you guys are about to have one. We'd all like a full report!

 

Maybe, but this is turning into something bigger than a foursome?

A couple of months ago I'd have been absolutely no way, but now we're definitely intrigued......although I can see issues at the hotel??

[GoldCoCouple 4,065]

We too prefer 4 couples to 3 couples. Greater chance of finding someone to pair off with. Still, we would rather meet them first before being put into a sexual situation (but we also need a 'connection' before we usually proceed with a couple). I don't know...it is intriguing. Maybe throw caution to the wind and give it a shot...

[Newcouple17 101]

We too prefer 4 couples to 3 couples. Greater chance of finding someone to pair off with. Still, we would rather meet them first before being put into a sexual situation (but we also need a 'connection' before we usually proceed with a couple). I don't know...it is intriguing. Maybe throw caution to the wind and give it a shot...

 

For me personally if I thought too hard I'd probably say no, too many people, but if like you say we throw caution to the wind.......I guess it might be fun??

Both of the new couples are attractive, which definitely helps, but yes it would probably be nice to say hello first and see if we connect?

[JustAskJulie 2,595]

For me personally if I thought too hard I'd probably say no, too many people, but if like you say we throw caution to the wind.......I guess it might be fun??

Both of the new couples are attractive, which definitely helps, but yes it would probably be nice to say hello first and see if we connect?

 

This would be my thought as well. Granted there are all sorts of options in this situation, but should you not hit it off with this couple it would leave you guys feeling "odd man out" of sorts, since everyone is there to play and the other two couples are good to go with each other, and you are only good with one couple.

 

If they couple is too far away to arrange a face-to-face meet prior to the weekend, then I'd suggest a skype chat (with the 6 of you) and then depending on how that goes with just you and the new couple to get a feel for your attraction to them. If they totally turn you off then I wouldn't waste the time doing the weekend thing as a 6-some.

 

As to your original question (which has already been answered) there are endless ways to meet others, and you should find ways that feel the most comfortable and natural to you.

[GoldCoCouple 4,065]

Let us know what you decide and what happened (if anything). Good luck!

[luv2was 117]

Great sex with my partner is always just that... regardless of who else may be in the room, watching, or not. There is always that familiarity and fondness present.

 

Involving other people in sex play opens up another whole realm of possibilities. But in the end, after the experience of the day (or weekend, etc.) is done, there is always that memory to draw on. Good or bad, it helps set the scale. Is every experience great? (Even just with my partner.) Not likely. But it can make a great story for later, one way or another.

 

The first question I had in starting out in this thread was: "How well do you trust the couple setting this up?" ... And my thoughts were also echoed by the comment made about "how adventurous are you feeling"?

 

An extreme personality clash could ruin the experience, we've all been there I'm sure, but how often does that happen, really? Like minds and personalities tend to attract. Is there some risk plunging into the unknown? You bet! The LS is a risky business, in many ways... but then again, so is driving to work every day.

 

When I was 18 (I'm now 59) I met a couple that had a rather profound effect on my life. They were old enough to be my parents, but we interacted more like peers. It was different. (They were a "back to the land" hippie couple. I was working on their farm for a few weeks while I was traveling.) They introduced me to a lot of ideas that had a profound influence on my life to come. (In some cases they just watered seeds already planted, but you get the idea.)

 

One conversation I recall to this day... Whatever it was, I made a comment along the lines of "not wanting to loose control" (of a situation)... to which they both blurted out, "Oh No! Sometimes you just gotta loose control!" ... I just looked at them with reserved caution. I was rather taken aback by their response. ... It would be a while before I really got what they were saying, but eventually I did.

 

:-)

 

As usual, especially with the LS, the quality of the return depends mostly on the degree of trust.

 

Best of luck.

 

Enjoy the moment.

[Newcouple17 101]

Okay another update.

After some discussions and more than a little confusion with someone or another being left out of the loop! This whole thing from start to now has been so much harder than we ever expected or imagined! lol

There was a Skype chat, but mainly via the phone we've all arranged to meet up at a hotel not this weekend, but the next.......sort of an early valentines thing........as someone put it?

So far everything and everyone seems fine, but we've made it clear that we're only committed to meeting at the moment and we'll see how it goes......although I think we're both on the same page regarding planning on getting involved, we're just keeping our options open as far as their all concerned.

Our friends although initially concerned are absolutely fine about our decision to hold back with the guarantees. One of the other couples have already asked us to consider them on their own if we don't want to play with the others.....a little forward, but flattering I suppose?

So it looks like we'll be having a get together with another 3 couples shortly!

The nerves are already building!! lol