How do you close the deal?

[njbm 2,871]

We look at other profiles on two lifestyle sites. If we see a couple we like, we open our face pictures and ask them to open theirs. When we get a reply (the minority), it leads to more emails, but rarely a meeting.

 

Honestly, we both think there are a lot of trolling husbands getting shot down by their wives. Any tips on getting to yes?

[gollymsmolly 23]

Any tips on getting to yes?

 

Maybe. The first is to be analytical about profiles and only message those you really do think would be a good fit. The second is to send an introductory email saying what you like about their profile without asking for or giving access to photos. If someone's first approach to me includes anything but a soft ask, I say we wouldn't be a good fit. In other words, I instantly reject anyone who, in the first email, asks for photos, gives me their kik or email address, etc., because it feels like pressure and an insistence on doing it their way. I assume that will translate into sex, because people tend to be consistent, so I'm not going to even try.

[Guest]

Sounds like you are looking for swaps, possibly other activity with other couples. Go to a on premises Couples Club or resort. It all happens right there, especially so at a couples club. Everyone knows that somewhere in the background, a clock is ticking. You meet, you talk, maybe dance but at some point, people start disappearing to the playrooms. You decide along the way whether you are going to join them or just enjoy the talk and dance. Resorts are a little different because you may have a few days to ponder and meet that right couple or decide if, is this really what we want to do.

[GoldCoCouple 4,065]

We usually respond with a nice email that makes it obvious that we read their profile and ask them to read ours and let us know if they are interested (no open pictures yet). If they are interested, THEN we open the pictures and see if they are still interested (and hopefully they open their pictures as well). Sometimes there just is no interest or attraction based on looks...it happens and can't be taken personally. If there is still interested then we schedule a non-playing meet and see what happens from there. Opening your pictures too soon or quickly can be taken as a fake or picture collector. Just don't rush quite so much and realize that finding a four way match is hard and will take time to accomplish, it's all a numbers game...but it can totally be worth it when it happens. Good luck!

[Erik13 157]

Honestly, we both think there are a lot of trolling husbands getting shot down by their wives.

This 100%. SLS even seems to be full of them. All talk and when it comes time for their wives to chat they disappear.

[adamgunn 1,460]

Erik, you're right. We used SLS to find new playmates, and it was an exhausting process. I would say for every 100 contacts, you were lucky to find eight you were interested in, four of them led to meet for coffee dates, one or two of them became hot dates.

 

You'll do much better by going to a club. But even so, we enjoyed the SLS chase.

 

We eventually realized if they weren't ready to send a G-rated picture by the third email and if they weren't ready to meet by the 5th, it (probably) wasn't going to happen. But we did meet our favorite partners after it had gone on for months, so there's always the exception.

[padoc 1,703]

We are on SLS and SDC and were on APG for about 5 years when we started back in Pa. We agree that finding compatible couples on the various sites is a challenge. We've found that Trapeze or TPA or TJ's is almost a sure thing for us. The problem is that any of those clubs require a weekend of time and considerable expense for travel and lodging. If we could get to an on premises club in an hour (or had one locally)we'd probably go twice a month and use the sites only to screen and set up club meetings. Since we can't do that, we use site emails to preliminarily screen potential playmates and to set up meetings. What we've learned is that that approach leads to more than a little frog kissing but depending upon where you live, it's often the only game in town.

We don't use the sites to set up phone calls between the wives or Skype or webcam. Mrs Doc has appointed me "social director" and she trusts my initial judgements. She will look at the profiles that I've found and will give me the thumbs up/down but won't have any other involvement until we meet the couple somewhere public. If someone insists on talking to her first, its not going to happen and we'll move on. A few other things that causes her to put the brakes on is no kissing rules, having the women start and the guys join "later", bi-males, and the we want to be friends first and maybe THEN we'll progress a bit folks. We're on those sites for recreational sex with other couples not to make friends, although we have made a lot of friends. Or goal is to get naked and share orgasms, not meet the grandkids or go to Disney World. You'd think it'd be simple but it really isn't.

[njbm 2,871]

I knew we weren’t the only ones having trouble meeting people. We found clubs had a lot of newbies, single males and voyeurs. Our best success was one of the Bliss cruises.

[adamgunn 1,460]

paddoc, your process (guy looks, wife approves or not) was pretty much our routine after we'd been in the pool awhile.

 

The wife always had concerns about her physical attraction (she didn't think guys liked her) until she actually was in their presence. And she hated rejection. So I got to be the one that took the rejections.

 

The only difference for us was that if we were going to meet another couple (vs. a single man) I insisted the girls talk together - I didn't want to waste a meet/greet night on a 'oh, sorry, the wife couldn't make it, she's sick, but I'm here!' I found that if the girls talked, even briefly, the chances of an actual meet skyrocketed.

[njbm 2,871]

We were going to meet a couple from SLS tonight. They cancelled this morning. Their wife has a cold.

 

I hate booking these “dates.”I have low confidence that these people will show up.

[Twilighttap 168]

We’ve gotten to the point that we use sites like SLS to mainly check for events to meet people in the flesh, so to speak. When we do dialogue with people on those sites, we take it slow and and easy since we have no idea who they are or what the deal is. We have had people open their photos without us expressing any interest in them and then they demand we open ours. Red flags go up for us when that happens. Either it’s a Photo collector or drama is on the near horizon. Digital has some use but it’s not the end all for us.